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Very scared

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Earlier this week my husband and I helped a woman who was being abused by her boyfriend. He threatened to beat us and kill us. He went to jail sunday night and was charged for assault on both of us. He is in a lot of trouble because of us. Scary part is that he is getting out of jail today or tomorrow until he goes on trial next month. The police put a restraining order on him so that he can't contact us, but in doing that he now knows information about where we are and who we are. I'm so incredibly scared. He has a history of breaking no contact orders and a long history of violence.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Ozzer, I've moved your post in to Home, Law & Money as it's not so much Health based. Hope that's ok.

    Sounds like a difficult time for you both but well done for standing up to this guy that was a really brave thing to do :yes: I'd suggest keeping in close contact with the police, it's good that they have put a restraining order in place and hopefully he will take this seriously this time. If you're at all worried for your safety or if he contacts or harasses you in any way just make sure you inform the police straight away.

    If it's effecting you badly then you may want to give Victim Support a call on 0845 30 90 900. They offer free and confidential support to victims of, or witnesses to, a crime and it might be reassuring to get some practical advice from them.

    Take care and look after each other *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry Jo7. I have PTSD so it is hard for me to seperate any fearful situation from my mental illness.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There are lots of things the police can and SHOULD be doing if you are vulnerable witnesses. They range from leaving dummy panda cars near your house with regular checks on your address to home office alarms (panic alarms) or in extreme circumstances, relocation.

    Now for the time being they've given him a restraining order so until there is evidence that he is breaching it it's unlikely they'll do anything else. However get in touch with the supervisor of the officer in the case and explain your concerns to them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whowhere wrote: »
    There are lots of things the police can and SHOULD be doing if you are vulnerable witnesses. They range from leaving dummy panda cars near your house with regular checks on your address to home office alarms (panic alarms) or in extreme circumstances, relocation.

    Now for the time being they've given him a restraining order so until there is evidence that he is breaching it it's unlikely they'll do anything else. However get in touch with the supervisor of the officer in the case and explain your concerns to them.
    The OP is in the US so I'm not sure how much of that will apply to her.
    Ozzer do make sure you find out all you can of how you will be protected.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks all!
    I got through the weekend, which was the hard part. I figure the first couple days of him being released would be the most likely for him to do something. Thankfully those days have past. He has a court appearance in a month so we will see how things go after that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Glad you're doing ok - you sound incredibly brave. Did you find any more about what support and protection you can get locally? Let us know how you're getting on :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My call to victim's services was finally returned. It only took two weeks after the incident for them to get to me and tell me what my rights are. Of course, all of those chances to do things differently have already past.
    I may have been less than nice to the woman on the phone but I was seriously upset. Standing up in this situation was the best and worst thing I have ever done. It was great to finally have a voice. It in some way made up for the years of abuse I endured without telling anyone. However,my PTSD has been pushed to a whole other level. I feel that could have been avoided had anyone returned my calls and let me know what my options were. Instead I spent all of this time a nervouse wreck.
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