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i dont know what to do *could be triggering*
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey
this year has been proppar rough and stuff cos of exams and that and i would have been able to cope but
My best friend has been self harming so i have been helping her get through it all as best i can. And she has now sed that she has stopped and says she hasnt done it for one month .. but the other day wen we were getting changes for pe .... i noticed that there were about 10 deep red gashes on her shoulder and right leg . i havent asked her about it because im scared of the truth
My mom and dad split up 2 months ago .... this was then closely followed by my mom becoming depressed and self harming herself . She is seeing a docter but obviously i am still concerned about her and her well being. My dad has also just announced that i am to expect a baby step sister which has not help my moms condition whatsoever.
My other friend has also got involved with drugs and drink. She is actually hooked on cocaine and i am trying to help her get off it but it is proving very difficult.
My brother who is 1 year older than me has confided in me that he is gay . I do not have a problem with this but i am concerned at what other people will think when he comes out and also what effect it will have on my mother.
i am really struggling how to cope and i just need a bit of advice on how to help all the above and just how to cope really.
Thanks
Lauren x
this year has been proppar rough and stuff cos of exams and that and i would have been able to cope but
My best friend has been self harming so i have been helping her get through it all as best i can. And she has now sed that she has stopped and says she hasnt done it for one month .. but the other day wen we were getting changes for pe .... i noticed that there were about 10 deep red gashes on her shoulder and right leg . i havent asked her about it because im scared of the truth
My mom and dad split up 2 months ago .... this was then closely followed by my mom becoming depressed and self harming herself . She is seeing a docter but obviously i am still concerned about her and her well being. My dad has also just announced that i am to expect a baby step sister which has not help my moms condition whatsoever.
My other friend has also got involved with drugs and drink. She is actually hooked on cocaine and i am trying to help her get off it but it is proving very difficult.
My brother who is 1 year older than me has confided in me that he is gay . I do not have a problem with this but i am concerned at what other people will think when he comes out and also what effect it will have on my mother.
i am really struggling how to cope and i just need a bit of advice on how to help all the above and just how to cope really.
Thanks
Lauren x
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Comments
Fisrtly, we can see that it is your first time posting on the boards - so welcome. This is a safe environment for you to explore what's going on for you, and hopefully read some things that will help you cope a little better.
It sound's like a lot of things have happened within a a short space of time. Your family unit has been shaken by your parents split, which has made your Mum feel low. Your brother has confided in you and you are to expect a baby sister. On top of this family stuff, your friends are being supported by you though thier problems with self-harm, drink and drugs. It is totally understandable that you feeling the way you are at the moment.
Thesite has a lot of great information pages that you can work though. I don't want to bombared you, so will suggest a few to start with. This one talks about supporting someone who self harms and this one is about parents with mental health problems. Make sure you check out the links on the right of the pages too, they are really useful.
You have done really well to open up here on these boards, if you think that talking to someone may help too - you could try talking to a helpline? Childline(0800 11 11) is a confidential helpline for under 18's - and you can talk to them about anything. You could also check out our local advice finder - you just search by area and subject.
It sound's like you must be a really good and kind friend, daughter & sister, as you are helping all these people in your life. But, taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of those around you. Is there anyone at your school / college that you can talk to - a mentor, head of year?
You cannot be responsible for your family and freind's wellbeing. You can only be fully responsible for your own. For example, you cannot get your friend off cocaine - she has to want to do this for herself. And, you have no control over how your Mum reacts to the news of your brother being gay. Don't put yourself under too much pressure and be kind to yourself.
Take care and keep posting
Also what ever is going on in your life you need to remember you are only human and you should take a step back and just think about your self..and some times you should just do something that makes you feel better..that could be any thing from going for a walk..listening to music really loudly...eating ten chocolate bars etc.
I hope you manage to sort things out
holly x
well
tbh it has helped a lot writing it all down .. and some of those links you sent are helpful
neither of my friends are gettin any professional help because they dont want people to know and find out because too many questions get asked
we dont have ne head of years.. but i am considering calling that number thanks
and trust me i listen to plenty of loud music and eat plenty of chocolate ! which takes it all away for a moment but not long enough . x
It is extremely important that you do not burden yourself with the weight of the world. To keep some things in confidence and try to help a few people is being caring. It means that you are not selfish. But to burden yourself with the weight of the whole world and try to solve everyone's problems is impossible. And it is very unfair of anyone to expect that of you.
A similar sort of situation happened to me a little over a year ago. And because of the fact I let myself become to pressurised I am still paying the price today. And that is why it is important that you lessen some of the burden on yourself. Take some time for yourself. Have a day for yourself. Relax.
Helping is fine to a certian extent. But too much makes you struggle.
i dont know why
just everything was too stressful and
last night
i just
slit ....
my arm is so sore
i dont actually know what to do
i feel awful and out of control
it felt good when i did it.. .like it was really helping me all the stress and panic was released with every cut
but this mornin i carnt believe what i have done
what should i do now ?
maybe a trustable teacher or friend? or you parents if your close to them...
Try to find other ways to let out your feelings like writing or drawring or exercise or whatever you like doing!
If you need someone to talk to then im here! i know what its like wen things build up and stuff!
Hope things get better!
xxx
I understand.
That happens to me. When stressed, I usually, quite idiotically, lock myself in the bathroom to get away from it all. And then, the blade will be there and will taunt me. And at the time, it will feel as if I have been relieved of a great load. I feel so alive. And then the next morning I will have no memory of the night before with a sore arm and a depressed state of mind.
Self-harm is a very common action. You are not alone.
Perhaps you could book an appointment with your doctor. Confidentiality is the rule when it comes to patient and doctor. You can talk to your doctor about how you are struggling to cope and that you think you may have a problem and your doctor can advise you as to what to do next. The best part? No one will ever know except you and your doctor.
with all that has been going on i hadnt had chance to read it since ...
my self injury has become a regular part of my life now and it is hard to break off from it .. does anyone know what i mean ? i cannot go to a docter i just carnt that would be impossible for me to do that at this stage
i just dont feel like there is anyone i can confide in apart from this site
sorry to be a pain i know you have tried to help me by saying to tell people and a docter or ring a number but i just dont feel like i can ..
x
It can be a daunting step to see a doctor or call a helpline. It makes the situation that much more real in a way and it's showing that you accept and are ready to get some help with what you're going through.
Is there anything or any feeling in particular do you think that's stopping you? Maybe you're worried about what to say or where to start? It's worth remembering that the people on the other end of the phone or the doctor will have had experience seeing people with similar issues. They're there to help put you at ease and talk to you about what's going on. Nothing you say is the wrong thing to say, you just have to start talking and go from there.
You could think about writing a few things down first or taking a friend or someone you trust along to the doctors with you? As Harry23 said, it's important to put yourself first and try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Take care and keep posting *hug*