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Self Harm x
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello,
Just a bit nervouse starting my second thread so please don't judge me thank you.
I am not quiet sure how to start thiis weather it be from the beginning or middle. So I shant blabber on no more.
I had started self harming at the age of 12 as I got older I had self harmed twice as much. Now when ever I feel low or just can't take it I would get this small knife out the top of my draw, the sort of knife you cut card with and all. I would cut quiet deep until alot of blood had come out I would do it sitting in my room crying my eyes out thinking why am I not dead yet. I'm not the sory of person that talks to many people so I'm mainly the quiet one. I teand to concentrate on my studies at first to try not to cut my self. I am very weak andd really sometimes can't stand life. I have plans to kill my self I feel useless and alone scared and lost confused and mixed up my emotions are every where really......I am self harming at the moment after having a massive arguement with someone about something that was important to me. They told me I made them sick and I was useless I wasn't sure whatt else to do or any other ways to cope.
I have stopped eating my regular meal and have one meal a day a small one as I feel like throwing up just by looking at food. For some reason I care about the way I look more than my general health I feel as though I am fat although I am under weight for my general height.
Just so confused with life and unssure of what to do :crying:
Thanks for reading,
Troubled_Youngster x
Just a bit nervouse starting my second thread so please don't judge me thank you.
I am not quiet sure how to start thiis weather it be from the beginning or middle. So I shant blabber on no more.
I had started self harming at the age of 12 as I got older I had self harmed twice as much. Now when ever I feel low or just can't take it I would get this small knife out the top of my draw, the sort of knife you cut card with and all. I would cut quiet deep until alot of blood had come out I would do it sitting in my room crying my eyes out thinking why am I not dead yet. I'm not the sory of person that talks to many people so I'm mainly the quiet one. I teand to concentrate on my studies at first to try not to cut my self. I am very weak andd really sometimes can't stand life. I have plans to kill my self I feel useless and alone scared and lost confused and mixed up my emotions are every where really......I am self harming at the moment after having a massive arguement with someone about something that was important to me. They told me I made them sick and I was useless I wasn't sure whatt else to do or any other ways to cope.
I have stopped eating my regular meal and have one meal a day a small one as I feel like throwing up just by looking at food. For some reason I care about the way I look more than my general health I feel as though I am fat although I am under weight for my general height.
Just so confused with life and unssure of what to do :crying:
Thanks for reading,
Troubled_Youngster x
0
Comments
If you do not feel like you can talk to someone try and have a think about what is making you feel like self harming, and see if there a more constructive way to deal with the issues you are experiencing. Maybe you should get rid off your knife so that even if you feel like self-harming it is not as easy to do so and might give you chance to think of another solution.
I think you should make an appointment to see a GP regarding both the self-harming and the decreased appetite. You should not let yourself feel you are fat or thin compared to other people, you should try and maintain a weight that you feel comfortable with, without needing to worry about how others perceive you.
I hope this is of some help and that things pick up for you. If you ever need someone to talk too feel free to give me a message and I will listen to whatever you want to say
Really glad you decided to on your second post and an official welcome to the site!
For the record I'd like to say that I think asking for help and support when we're feeling confused is a sign of strength not weakness (although I know, it don't always feel like it at the time)
Sounds like self harming has helped you cope when things get tough for you but you'd like to find alternatives so you don't always rely on strategies that are harmful for you in the long run like cutting or not eating well. Admitting that is a big deal.
There's lots of info on the site about this. It can also be really helpful to talk to someone you trust - is there a professional/ family member/ friend who you could talk to about any of whats going on? It might help you get some perspective on some of it. If not how would you feel about counselling or calling someone? SANEline or your GP are good places to start.
Also please keep posting here for more support - as you probably realise - we really try not to judge one another here so it can be a good place to talk about whats really bothering you.
Take care :wave:
Thank you for your replies to my post and thank you for wasteing your time to reply.
What makes me self harm, are many thing, that I may mention when I get used to the site more. I just use it as a simple easy way to cope with life and all the bad things going on.
As I am not a talkative person and do not try add seek help it will be hard speaking about it. I shant have started in the first place I'm worried my Mother & Father may one day find out.
If I get rid of my knife I would find something else to cut myself with I have many sharp objects. Many people think I self harm if they see a odd cut they ask do you self harm I teand to say no way it a my kitties scrach.
My GP has spoken to me many times about me being under weight that why he said I geet ill really quickly and more to others and he knoes about the loss of apeetite as he had told me to speak to someone he had refered me to someone but I didn't take the chance as I felt I couldn't.
Because I am still able tto use ChildLine I have spoken to them many times but had stopped useing there service about a few weeks ago when things had got harder for me. I take it out on blameing everything on me as I feel everything is I am unsure why but it teands to be my fault x
Trobled_Youngster
Also if you are being blamed for something and you don't understand why you are probably not in the wrong and should not be being blamed in the first place. You should not feel you are in the wrong if you haven't done anything
I'm blameing myself for everything stuff I shant have blamed myself for.
Today I just can't stand life I'm not eating as it's the ramadan month I have a head ace I have pains every where I'm thinking about suicide and why has life treateed me wrong for so long I am unsure I should or shant be on earth no more when will the all mighty Allah take me to heaven. I pray 5 times a day causeing no sins wishing to be dead I have so much more on my mind it's killing me.
So lost :crying:
Troubled_Youngster x
I've tried stabbing my arm with a fork really hard..... I may try that why shant I? Father will buy me some. Hopefully it may work.
umm... yeah the rubber band trick may work for you, please don't stab your arm with a fork :no:
It helps though. Or getting myself in to fights I am just not sure if a rubber band will work for me as I cut myself to actuallyy hurt myself near enough to the wrist but not on any veins, life will soon fade away right?
I have just got bad news mumss argueing people are shouting all I can hear are screems
Hope everything works out
There are a million things the earth has givin us yet life is still hard when I die everyone will celebrate my mum said. I just wish I was left in a empty room hanging of a rope
Why does nobody understand the pain I have to suffer :crying: Time to end it.
I have friends many but nome trust worthie, I could never speak to them about this matter as I would hate to be called wierdd
I am sure your mum didn't mean it
She did,
"Your a waste of time space & money the sooner your dead the sooner we can all celebrate"
and she doesn't joke around the way she said it sounded seriouse
Rather than suffer on your own why don't you try and explain how you are suffering so we can try and help? I'm sure your mother or anyone else would not celebrate if you died. If you can't open up to your friends or family why not try opening up to someone here in the forum or your GP? No one is here to judge you, only offer help and advice
I just can't explain it as you wouldn't really understand
Why did you refuse to see this person after the first session? I really think it may be worth you trying again with your GP.
If you wanna have a go at explaining, go ahead. I'm sure people will try and understand
And I'll try and explain in a furtther post if I have the courage to xx