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Confused

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
This may sound strange but I have grown up with straight closed minded people and I have had gay feelings since I was 13 but never told anyone. I have only slept with 2 lads cos i felt pressured into it but i've never actually been with a girl apart from a little experiment in a threesome but I that's cos we were really drunk so I don't remember most of it. I know for certain that I don't like men but without actually having or girlfriend or anything I'm either gay or asexaul, I'm really confused about it and don't know what i want. I did tell my then best mate and she stuck up for me but since we're not friends anymore I have no one to talk to. I only have a couple of friends but i'm not close to them. There isn't any clubs or anything in the area where i'm from. What should I do?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sunshineyellow wrote: »
    I have had gay feelings since I was 13 but never told anyone.............. I know for certain that I don't like men

    Hi sunshineyellow; I can see you're feeling a bit confused but it's difficult for people to give advice when there are contradictions like this in your explanations. Could you tell us a bit more about what you're feeling?

    It's good to try and separate the sexual experiences you've been pressured into from how you feel about either gender. So, for example, if you are attracted to girls but have only slept with men, that would imply you're probably straight despite the encounters you've had so far.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah that post was a bit confusing lol. yeah i know i don't like men i just wasn't sure if i was actually a lesbian cos i've never did anything with a girl (apart from the threesome but since i don't remember much it doesn't really count) at one point i just thought i was asexual and not fancy either sex. it's hard too meet people in my area and even if i did get with a girl, it wouldn't be a problem for me. i will never be ashamed of who i am, it's just telling my family about it. it will be kinda akward and they will hate me so that's what scares me. But yeah, i dunno for certain if i am gay. One day i might look at a girl and think "nice" but other times i'll be like "ok, not for me" i just need to go somewhere and meet people so i can experiment with my sexuality but don't know where to start!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh blimmin' hell - I'm SO sorry, for some reason I thought you were a guy! Ignore my previous post, it makes no sense now!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sunshineyellow wrote: »
    I know for certain that I don't like men but without actually having or girlfriend or anything I'm either gay or asexaul, I'm really confused about it and don't know what i want.

    Do you feel sexual attraction and desire for women? If you do, you are not 'asexual'. Asexuality, in it's broadest sense, is the lack of sexual attraction and desire.

    If you are attracted to women and not men, then you are almost certainly gay. You don't need to have experience with sleeping with women to know what you are. Do straight people first sleep with gay people to know that they are straight? No. They know what they want before they even get to the stage of having sex.

    By the way, your repeated term about 'not liking men' ... do you mean that you don't 'like' men or you are not 'attracted' to men? There is a difference.
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