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Apologising by letter?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right so given rational reflection, ive realised i have been both unfair and too distant to my flatmate, so have decided to write her a letter to apologise (i think anyway)
However two questions basically, what do you think of the idea of writing a wee note just to clear the air?
And second if i post it, would people mind letting me know if it sounds ok?
However two questions basically, what do you think of the idea of writing a wee note just to clear the air?
And second if i post it, would people mind letting me know if it sounds ok?
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And sure, I'll take a read if you post it.
All the best
Sure she will appreciate it too. No need to make it too long and detailed though, I don't think - short and sweet! Chances are she probably won't think things are half as bad between you as you might do.
"I really want to apologise for not making living together as easy as it should have been. I realise i've been pretty difficult to engage, so I want to let you know I'm sorry. I'm not going to make excused for why I've been so distant, and I'm sorry you made so many attempts at friendship that I've rejected because ive been to self absorbed to even acknowledge them. I cant promise I'll always be easy to live with, but right now, I'd like to wipe the slate clean and start fresh. A promise I can and do make is that I will make a much bigger effort and not be so difficult to chat to."
Its so funny how tiny little things like us both feeling rejected got so out of control
I think the letter thing is a wee bit melodramatic, to be honest. If my flatmate did that to me, I would think - why didn't she just come and talk to me? Especially since what you are saying is that you want to try and be less distant and more friendly. Saying it via letter makes it more distant and more serious. The first step to being easier to chat to, surely, is just to go and talk to her?
Let us know how it goes!
Its not intended to be melodramatic, its just i wanted to have a chance to properly think through what i wanted to say to her, and saying something that has had that level of thought put into it aloud when you are already slightly awkward with each other, i think, sounds too scripted and insincere
Sorry, I know you're not trying to be melodramatic. I just thought that the act of writing a note, rather than saying it to her face, could be interpreted that way.
You're right that reciting it would be scripted and awkward. I just thought that a good first move at having a friendly causal relationship would be to talk to her about it, rather than sending the note, because I would imagine that would increase the awkwardness, not lessen it. But it's your call
not sure if it's too late to post but reading your letter over, i think it sounds really lovely. as it's fairly short, might it be easier to write it in one of those decorative cards that have a plain inside? i guess my thinking was that it would take the stigma away from having a proper 'letter' and it seems more casual. if it has a flower on it, it seems quite sweet too.
This way you are able to think carefully about the wording and your flatmate has time to think and reflect before having to respond.
Personally though i don't really think you need to apoligise but maybe just explain but thats easy for me to say looking in from the outside and i do understand what you are doing.
I really hope things improve for you, stay strong keep smiling and remember we all love you xx