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So T Told Her And Now Im Wierded Out!!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
so... i told her. i was having an affair with another man and it brought about the questioning of my sexuality, if you read OMGAY by me then you get the picture...thanx for all the replies by the way. so i told her, she cried, we argued and now we are just carrying on like nothing has happened... we even went to watch a movie the other day and spent the whole time perving on the main character (a guy) which the girls in front of us found highly amusing. but what the fuck do we do now.... i mean we cant carry on just pretending like we are some kind of girl and gay friend situation, but at the same time i cant just leave and start again until i know she is alright. is she in denial? is she playing some kind of game? is she setting me up? i do appreciate the justice of me being the one to suffer after having the affair but i really cant carry on like this. i broke it off with paulinhio, and we are just friends now but i still am attracted to him massively and really hate not being around him... following some good advice from a fellow poster i found myself, asking him to stop all the gifts and treats and just be himself around me... this has completely made me like him more as he is genuine as well as impressive... im completely fucked i really cant work out what is going on. i hate myself for hurting her and yet cant stop myself falling for him, i really think i might be in love with him... and then comes the fucking terrifying prospect of "comin out" to my friends and family ha! if you had met my military family and friends then you would understand why that is funny and terrifying...
just some thoughts please i really cant clear my head enough to come up with an answer and i no some of you guys can really help sometimes.


PS apologies for the lengthy rant!


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi blue2878,

    Perhaps it might help clarify things in your head if you divide them into two seperate issues to deal with.

    Firstly your girlfriend and child. It's good that you want to make sure she is alright and to support her in the future but, now that things are partially out in the open, it sounds like you need to have another talk with her to find out what she wants and how she feels and to try to work out how you are going to move forward. There's some information on TheSite.org about communicating as a couple and dealing with arguments which might help you approach this.

    Secondly, your sexuality. It sounds like you have fallen hard for this guy but maybe you have done the right thing by taking a step back from things for now. Perhaps giving things some time to settle and working out how things are going to go with your girlfriend first will help you to clear your head a bit. Then you will be in a better position to decide if you want to take things forward with him or not. You also mention about your concerns about coming out. We have some information on coming out on TheSite.org. You might also find it helpful to have a chat with the Lesbian and Gay Switchboard who will be able to help talk things through with you.

    Hope this helps make things at least a bit clearer :)
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