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Please help, I need to press charges but don't know if I can?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hiya

About a month and a half ago me and my boyfriend went to the pub during the day and he got seriously drunk, I was tipsy but was in full control. He ended up passing out in the pub in the middle of the day so I had to take him home back to my flat and try and put him to bed.

When we got back to my flat he started going mad at me, accusing me of fancying my mates mate and calling me fat and ugly, I was constantly asking him to leave and get out of my flat as I was scared and just wanted him gone. He picked up my brand new TV and tryed to throw it on the floor but I managed to grab it and save it but he ended up pushing me up against the window and wouldnt let go, I saw 2 girls walking past and hammered on the window for help but he then run away to my bedroom after smashing a glass all over my living room, I grabbed my house phone and dialed 999 and asked for the police but he came back to the living room and wrenched the phone from the socket, I ran to the bed room to get my mobile but he had me pushed against the wall then threw me on the bed and held me down so I couln't get up. He then finaly got off me and punched a hole in my wall, i grabbed my mobile and called the police and when he heard i'd got through to them he left the flat and left me there shaking and crying.

I went back into the living room and saw the 2 girls from eairler calling up to the window asking if i was ok and did they want me to come up so i let them in and they stayed with me till the police came, it turns out they had also called the police when they saw me pinned against the window.

The police came and took a statment from me, they asked if i wanted to press charges but i said no as i didn't want to be a grass... they told me my boyfriend had gone back to the pub where all my friends were still drinking after he left mine but the police had followed him there and arrested them for assult and criminal damage but later let him go without charge.

My questions are this, why did they arrest him if i said i didnt want to press charges (i dont mind, im just curious) and even though i said i didn't want to go ahead with the charges, is it too late now? Me and him split up a week later and he always said he would pay for the damage to my wall, even though we have split up he would still text me now and again and i replyed as i wanted to keep things civil, the last time i spoke to him was over a week ago and he promissed he would sort my wall out and get back to me but i've heard noting. I tryed to ring him a few days ago but it went to voice mail so i tried again today and still no luck. its not like him to have his phone off at all so i'm wondering if he has changed his number??

I really need this wall sorting as my tenany agreement comes to an end soon and i have a £600 depoist on this flat and i know if the wall is not sorted i will loose it and its all the money i have left and my only chance of moving, as i cannot aford this place on my own now and im so skint, i can't afford to get the wall done. I'm really worried as i need the wall fixing as im unhappy here and need to get out and all the money i have left is tied up in my deposit! If i press charges will the police be able to force him to pay for the wall?

Please help because i'm in a really bad situation and honestly don't know what to do.x

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, if you press charges he will be charged with criminal damage. A court might order his to pay for the damage but the police cannot get involved.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MoK wrote: »
    No, if you press charges he will be charged with criminal damage. A court might order his to pay for the damage but the police cannot get involved.

    So, i can change my mind and still decide to press charges if i want?

    Obvously this is a last resort and I'm going to try every other option first but I really cannot afford to loose this deposit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to speak to the officer, they might have already dealt with it through a caution.

    Eitehr way you need to know. Just to say though, if you're doing that out of spite then think hard - if you want justice then go ahead.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MoK wrote: »
    You need to speak to the officer, they might have already dealt with it through a caution.

    Eitehr way you need to know. Just to say though, if you're doing that out of spite then think hard - if you want justice then go ahead.

    I'm not doing it out of spite, if hes going to be immature and ignore me then I have no choice, I physically cannot afford to pay for his damage to my landlords property and as i said before, I need to move out this flat with my deposit. I would much rather get this sorted between the 2 of us but I just don't know where to turn any more and its causing me stress I really don't need
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Even if the Criminal route has been closed off you could pursue him in the civil courts for damages.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Avizandum wrote: »
    Even if the Criminal route has been closed off you could pursue him in the civil courts for damages.

    And how would i go about doing this? I've looked online but not got any answers really? This whole situation is really getting me down :( does it cost any money to go through the courts?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not familiar with English Civil Procedures so your best bet is to contact your local Citizens Advice or a qualified solicitor.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is this the same guy you posted about a while ago?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You could pursue it through the small claims court, sometimes called the county court. If Kermy or Sharpy were still about they'd be able to tell you as they took their wedding photographer to court.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you can do small claims online, I think it costs £60 IIRC.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    you can do small claims online, I think it costs £60 IIRC.

    which if you win he'll have to pay I believe.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    indeed
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he's arrested, unless a judge orders him to, he won't have to pay you a penny for the wall. If he's never been in trouble before chances are he'll get a caution and that's it.

    Your best course of action is through small claims court. It's a £25 charge and all you do is write down what you want and the reason for it etc
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is this the same guy you posted about a while ago?

    No, that was my ex, the one i had to move to get away from, some more shit has come up with him today, hes still hasseling my friends and family :(

    but no, im talking about my most recent ex at the moment, i really thought he was a decent guy and thought i'd finaly found sombody who wasn't going to mess me around but looks like i was wrong.

    I'm going to wait a week, if i still have not heard from him i will try ringing his mums mobile, and if that dont work i'll try and message him on facebook, and if that don't work i'll send him a letter saying I am going to take things further if i don't get a response.
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