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Am I going to keep on getting sick?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I can feel the darkness of depression slipping back again.

If it were October time, I could blame it on the weather... If I were in my old place, stress could be a factor...

In fact, for the first time I am sorted in my life. Debt will be paid off around Christmas time, I am doing well in my job and the weather is beautiful. I spend a lot of time exercising in the gym and am losing weight...

So why is it coming back? I don't understand... :no:

I feel really low, I don't enjoy much and am wanting to avoid people. At the moment, I am having to really force myself to do anything remotely sociable. I have less energy, no enthusiasm... I can function fine and I am trying to get internships and stuff sorted... But I just feel... Depressed again.

Does anybody else get depression for no reason?

In all honesty, I don't really see a point in life if I am going to keep on getting these cycles of illness.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Debt getting paid off is a good thing.

    Hey I get depressed a bit in the summer, I get hayfever and have to spend some days in doors, which depresses me as I wish I could be outside.

    This is the second weekend in a row I have kept myself to myself in my room, but Ive been busy with work and just needed respite.

    Sometimes things do happen like this, but you WILL get over it and hey you have us guys around here :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Namaste wrote: »
    In all honesty, I don't really see a point in life if I am going to keep on getting these cycles of illness.

    clinical depression is often episodic though and can work in cycles. as impossible as it seems when things are bad, the point of life is the times when you are feeling happy and fulfilled. supposedly the periods of feeling well increase over time and the episodes become more spread out but it depends on the individual. the difference is that when you feel the darkness coming on again you know how to deal with it and work through it.

    it does seem a pretty shit prospect though. we have to believe that things can change and hope that each episode will be the last one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I am happy, I have such high ambition... Then after a few months I struggle to socialise.

    It's like having a split personality ain't it...

    But I guess you are right, in that the point of life is when things are less bad...

    It's just the prospect of always having these cycles and living with an illness is unnerving... For career, family, life...

    Still, plenty of people do well and live with mental illness I guess.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I guess depression is one of things that never really go away but as you go from success to success you gradually learn to cope with it.
    It sounds as if you are really doing well in general and have your life on the right tracks , i think we all get that low feeling from time to time and things can seem pretty black and i guess if you have been depressed its easy to think you are slipping back just because of a few bad days and then if your not careful you are in that circle of negativty again.
    I used to think i was depressed but came to realise that actually i was'nt and that people who are really depressed are in a really bad place so although i cant fully understand your outlook i can offer you my thoughts and support *hug*
    I think its important for you to take some positive action right away and probably an important thing is to get out and socalise i understand it is an effort for you right now but you know it is a good thing so if nothing else the next time a friend calls have a nice long chat if they ask you to come out then just say yes , even if its an effort i bet when you get out with your mates you feel better straight away , its just reconising what is happening and make the decisions now without to much thought.
    I bet if you got on your phone now you could blag an invite even if just to sit and chat in someones garden this evening.
    I find it hard to socalise and always look for excuses not to bother but as soon i get on with it i feel so much better and usally have a great time.
    Isolation imho is a big factor that needs dealing with.
    Stay strong stay positive you have already done so much :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    While you're working towards those targets you're not there yet, so you're feeling the pain without the reward.

    You also did some serious HIIT, and if you've not been eating appropriately you migh well be suffering as a result of low blood sugar.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big Gay wrote: »
    While you're working towards those targets you're not there yet, so you're feeling the pain without the reward.

    You also did some serious HIIT, and if you've not been eating appropriately you migh well be suffering as a result of low blood sugar.

    I've been eating alright I think... Around 1300-1500 per day, fruit, grains, pulses. I may take a vitamin supplement anyway.

    It felt like it started because I had a stressful week at work, maybe that triggered it...

    The HIIT actually made me feel amazing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    one meal a day? and you exercise when?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big Gay wrote: »
    one meal a day? and you exercise when?

    Noooo... I eat 3 meals a day (I meant calories, by the number)!

    And exercise in the evening.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Namaste wrote: »
    I've been eating alright I think... Around 1300-1500 per day, fruit, grains, pulses. I may take a vitamin supplement anyway.

    It felt like it started because I had a stressful week at work, maybe that triggered it...

    The HIIT actually made me feel amazing.

    HIIT on such a low calorie intake isnt a good idea.

    Im trying to lose some weight at the minute, and while its slow, im still taking on 2k calories because im working out hard.

    I think such a low calorie intake isnt good for you, and thats if you are not doing high intensity training.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    G wrote: »
    HIIT on such a low calorie intake isnt a good idea.

    Im trying to lose some weight at the minute, and while its slow, im still taking on 2k calories because im working out hard.

    I think such a low calorie intake isnt good for you, and thats if you are not doing high intensity training.
    Well my BMR is around 1500, so 1300 is too little? :confused:

    How much should I be eating to lose weight healthily?

    I eat well and the gym trainers say that I should eat around that... I work in an office, so apart from the gym, I don't move around a whole lot

    I have only done HIIT once, yesterday. My thread is about an ongoing problem, so I am not sure how related they are, as I've had mental health problems for at least sixteen years.

    I just want to know really, about these mood changes because I don't want to have ups and downs forever, especially when I get really low. I want a career and to work in other countries...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BMR is if you stay in bed all day you realise?

    In my opinion to get the best benefit from a work out, endorphins and weight loss, its best to make the colorie defecit up majority from the workout, rather than dropping loads of calories and exercising.

    Its good that if you are doing HIIT and you feel good :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Namaste wrote: »
    Noooo... I eat 3 meals a day (I meant calories, by the number)!

    And exercise in the evening.

    D'oh - not 24 hour clock.

    Out of interest, how did you get your BMR figure?

    Dieting is bad for you, but the exercise you're doing should keep your metabolism perked up - I'd suggest you try, in addition to the gym, following the daily exercise suggested by the author of the Hackers Diet.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big Gay wrote: »
    D'oh - not 24 hour clock.

    Out of interest, how did you get your BMR figure?

    Dieting is bad for you, but the exercise you're doing should keep your metabolism perked up - I'd suggest you try, in addition to the gym, following the daily exercise suggested by the author of the Hackers Diet.
    I'm not on a diet, I just don't eat a lot of calories most days... I have no idea how many most people eat, but I don't think 1300-1500 is unhealthy. I am careful to balance my diet.

    But tbh I really don't see how any of this has to do with my mental health, as the problem is longer term (as I have already stated), not an issue which happened 24 hours after I tried a new form of exercise (not to be rude, I know people want to help).

    My mental health has always fluctuated, though maybe I should go and see a doctor, not post it on a forum.

    I appreciate that people wanna help and are posting in good intentions, but I am going to leave it here.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Namaste wrote: »
    I'm not on a diet, I just don't eat a lot of calories most days... I have no idea how many most people eat, but I don't think 1300-1500 is unhealthy. I am careful to balance my diet.

    But tbh I really don't see how any of this has to do with my mental health, as the problem is longer term (as I have already stated), not an issue which happened 24 hours after I tried a new form of exercise (not to be rude, I know people want to help).

    I used the phrase "on a diet" meaning having changed your eating habits and consuming less than your body needs - not following some eating plan.

    The body has certain physiological responses to the stress situation of consuming fewer calories than required, which can have a bearing on you, some mimicking depression, and some contributing to it - that is what it has to do with your mental health. I've suggested a daily 5 minute exercise routine which I found helped me when my "not a diet" was contributing to the world going grey.

    My big sisters BMR is 1200 calories (calculated from resting Vo2), so the 1300-1500 you're eating is entirely reasonable.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey, just read your thread. I've suffered with depression/anxiety for 10/11 years now, and i'm not gonna lie and say it has got easier every time i get depressed or have a panic attack, but i do have loads more coping skills now and so i find the episodes don't last as long, and i have insight into them, even if i can't stop them. I've recently suffered some bad anxiety leading to psychosis and it was fucking scary, but i am back on track to being better- and i'm over the other side of the world right now, having to keep up a temp job with no family around me whilst trying to keep my mental health.

    What i mean is. it can be done, you can still travel, have a family, whatever you want to do- you just need to remember to monitor your feelings and know when to ask for help from your doc/family members/friends when you get to the stage you can't cope with it by yourself.

    My episodes have mostly been triggered by stress- i've been a bit shit at recognizing it as a trigger, but i go on learning week by week what affects my moods- sometimes there is no discernible trigger (my first episode of depression didn't have an outside trigger) so... you just cope the best you can. You'll always find support on thesite though :)

    *HUGS*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My own take on the cycle of depression is that it doesn't resolve itself unless it's based around a factor that you can eliminate from your life. If you are like me, and many others, and you have no idea what the root of your unhappiness is then it just doesn't go away by itself. It needs to be tackled and cut out from the root. Your whole way of thinking needs to be reprogrammed. The ways this would be achieved, in an ideal world, are through counselling and possibly medication. Medication to bring up the floor a little so you don't fall so far, and counselling to identify the source of your problems and retrain your brain and your coping mechanisms. I'm talking about long term counselling.

    I have been depressed on and off since 17yrs old, which would make it 16yrs now. That being said, I first self harmed at 9yrs old, so that could in theory make it 24yrs. I have been from bad coping mechanism to bad coping mechanism, enjoying several periods of respite and calm in between only to slump back into depression and bad habits again. I have 'dabbled' with counselling numerous times, and each and every time I have bailed out through frustration. In essence, my inability to commit to the counselling has only hampered me and prevented any progress. Plus, the more that you step away from your doctor's advice the less supportive they tend to be. I really needed to stick out the counselling, even when it got hard or annoying because it is bound to invoke emotions. My response to counselling was the same as it has been to everything else I've found 'difficult' in my life, I've run from it.

    At some point or other you have to face the issue and take it on, and you need support. Medication alone won't do it. And if the depression is deep rooted and has been with you for a number of years then it is unlikely that exercise or other things will break the cycle, they may well just keep it at bay until you hit the next problem in your life.

    I'm not saying that I have the solution, because clearly I haven't fixed my own issues or even come close. But then I've never stuck with the counselling, and I really do believe that I would need to before I can ever be free of this. Until the source of my issues has been identified then it can't be dealt with. Until my ways of coping have been altered then I will never live a balanced and 'safe' life. I've learned so many bad habits, over such a long time, that they have become natural thought processes, and that needs to be changed.

    Just some food for thought, apologies if I've waffled a bit, I often do when it comes to this stuff, lol.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Churchill referred to this as "Black Dog days".

    I still get them over 20 years after I had real problems but they are fewer and I know when they are coming and how to manage them. Personally I don't think they will every go away, just how I deal with it gets better over time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Meh... I feel quite shit today...

    I don't want to go back to work, I don't like my job... It's such an unhappy, competitive and bitchy place to work...

    I can't go to the gym because of my ankle... But the only thing I'm living for at the moment is exercise.

    Sorry, just had to say that.

    I'm further off paying my debt than I thought as well... I was hoping to be out of London by next summer, but fat chance of that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hug*

    hope you feel better soon sel x
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