Feel stupid for ruining his proposal!

Hello! First of all I am registered here on another name but because this problem is a secret I created a new user name I hope you don't mind!

*note sorry it's so long I had loads to get off my chest I'd really appreciate people's opinions if you've got time to read!*

Bascially I have been with my BF for 5 years we are really happy together, have lived together for a year and everything is great and I love him to bits. We've always discussed marriage and kids and agreed we both want the same things and at the beginning of the year we both had quite a serious chat as I'm 25 and he's 27 I said it would be nice to start maybe planning for the future etc next year and so that was that.

It's my birthday in a week and we're going on holiday, its the first time we've been away for years as I've been at uni etc so I was secretly hoping he might propose, considering its my bday and nearly our 5 year anniversary etc. Anyway I didn't say anything but didn't mention a gift I'd like etc, hoping he'd maybe take the hint.

We went to my best friends wedding last week, it was beautiful and like a typical woman I got caught up in the spirit of the day and when I'd had a few drinks I was jokingly asking him when he was going to make an honest woman of me, he seemed really uncomfortable and was acting a bit weird and said he wanted to be more finicially stable (ie a few years) before we got engaged.... anyway inside I felt devastated as we'd kinda agreed ages ago this was the year etc to start the ball rolling, I felt that maybe he'd changed his mind on the whole thing and we weren't going anywhere at all. However later in the evening he said some lovely things like when he saw me walk down the aisle he'd get choked up and that he'd cry when he said his speech so I got really mixed messages!

Fast forward to last night and he said he was going to the shops to get my birthday present, he had previously asked me what I want and I'd said I don't mind, so he was asking me things like "would you like a camera" etc and basically saying all these lovely things but deep down none of them are really what I'd love. I just felt so deflated I had this lovely image in my head of him asking me on holiday and just feeling so chuffed and telling everyone and how happy I'd feel and the bubble was just burst.

I went for a drive because I felt upset but didn't really want to bring it up again but when I got home I felt really weird because I usually tell him everything so I decided to just tell him how I felt. I went to speak to him and said I wanted to talk to him and he said, I think I know what you want to say and I think you should just leave it (which made me feel worse because then I thought, great he doesn't even want to discuss the idea now!!) and then he said nearly straight after, "your going to ruin it" and suddenly it all came crashing in! I looked really shocked and said, "omg im so sorry have I ruined it" and he smiled but looked sad and said, I've been trying to keep you off the trail but it keep croping up. Then he asked me to marry him!!!!!! I was so happy I said yes but I feel absoulity AWFUL because I've ruined it all for him! He didn't have the ring because thats what he'd gone to the shops for. He said he was going to ask me on holiday (ie what i'd imagined!) and that he was trying to pretend he didn't want to get married so that I'd be off the trail but it worked so well I actually started to doubt us!!

Anyway so now I've said yes (obv!) but we're not telling anyone officially as I dont have the ring yet. Ive said he can ask me again when we're on holiday with the ring etc, but he said its not the same... he doesn't seem mad as such just a bit sad. I feel awful because I spoilt if for both of us and also it doesn't feel 'real' as such as I dont have the ring and can't tell anyone... do you think it'll be ok? I love this guy so much I just feel such a prat for ruining his special moment!

Sorry its so long I understand you probably won't read all of this!