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People who can't leave school days behind

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Argh! Please someone tell me it's only Belfast that supports this weird phenomenon, and that there's hope for the rest of the UK!

Ever bump into people from school you haven't seen in years, and before you open your mouth to say "how's she cuttin boyo?" they're straight out with, "uh huh, so who are you still friendly with from school?"

Hmmm..what, really?

Maybe it's because for me, school was depressingly average with a mix of anxiety issues and heartache, and the feeling I never quite fitted in. The people who always seem to ask me this are the former jocks/rich/popular kids who you'd think would have moved on from school but no! No less than 4 people who I've not seen in six years were desperate to know who I was still in touch with from school.

Are they all keeping count?

I must be a freak because I've made other friends since 2004...:confused:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's just the last connection you have of each other, so I think it's normal you talk about it. Nobody can be blamed that your school years sucked. I actually loved mine.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its just because thats the one thing you have in common. Doesnt mean theyre still living in the past.

    Just like old work mates, you might ask if you still see anybody or, in the same field of work etc
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've found people ask this less and less as they get older, thank fuck.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My school days didn't all suck, but it was 7 years ago - and the people I've spoken to aren't interested in what you're up to now, it's all about who you still see, in fact - one rubbed it in my face that I missed out on seeing a band with 5 members of our school who I never spoke to because "everyone was there". Well, that's marveloous but I was out with old work mates thanks!

    And they gloated! I just don't see how they think they've scored a point, the real world moves on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was popular at school, don't want to talk about it now.Maybe reminisce with one or two friends I was very close to then and still am now but, mostly I just want to forget it and move on. In fact, I have. Some people just get kinda 'stuck' in their school days.

    Did you see the episode of Friends where Rachel goes out with the jock from her high-school, only to discover that he's still just a jock? v.funny
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh god, I know exactly what you mean. People who don't appear to have made new friends or had any new experiences in ten years, and hang out with the exact same group of people every weekend, just like they did when they were 18. And it's some kind of badge of popularity or achievement if you're still in touch with every single person you were at school with - why?

    The weird thing is, even though I know it's actually a bit pathetic, and I'm glad I moved away and met new people and had new experiences and all that, the teenager inside me who is still worried that she isn't skinny or pretty or popular enough feels a little insecure and bothered by it, it's totally irrational. When I see their photos on facebook of them all in the same pub we sued to go to ten years ago, I know, rationally, that I wouldn't want to be there. But part of me feels a bit left out anyway. Strange.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jamelia, you've hit the nail on the head there! My friends and I think it's a bit odd that the ones we weren't friendly with in school are only interested in finding out if they're still top dog, I have so much else to talk about but as soon as the topic changes they're not interested, it's like they are disappointed I've got a life better to the one at school.

    Gah.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamelia wrote: »
    Oh god, I know exactly what you mean. People who don't appear to have made new friends or had any new experiences in ten years, and hang out with the exact same group of people every weekend, just like they did when they were 18. And it's some kind of badge of popularity or achievement if you're still in touch with every single person you were at school with - why?

    The weird thing is, even though I know it's actually a bit pathetic, and I'm glad I moved away and met new people and had new experiences and all that, the teenager inside me who is still worried that she isn't skinny or pretty or popular enough feels a little insecure and bothered by it, it's totally irrational. When I see their photos on facebook of them all in the same pub we sued to go to ten years ago, I know, rationally, that I wouldn't want to be there. But part of me feels a bit left out anyway. Strange.
    I get that left out feeling a lot because I was a bit of a nobody in school. I happened across a 'reunion' group on Facebook that I hadn't even been invited to, but my twin sister had. It never happened, but it still made me go 'oh...'.

    Then again, I am still in touch with all the people I would have wanted to stay in touch with. So fuck it, I don't care what they think of me anymore.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    I get that left out feeling a lot because I was a bit of a nobody in school. I happened across a 'reunion' group on Facebook that I hadn't even been invited to, but my twin sister had. It never happened, but it still made me go 'oh...'.

    Then again, I am still in touch with all the people I would have wanted to stay in touch with. So fuck it, I don't care what they think of me anymore.

    You're totally right about that. It's silly, I'm happy, self-confident, successful, got a nice friends and a great life now. But at school I felt insecure, unpopular and like an outsider. And the only times I ever feel like that now is when I talk to people I went to school with, or see their interactions on facebook, and realise I'm not included. Even though I don't want to be.

    I think this just goes to show that the hideous wounds that are inflicted on you when you are an angsty teenager never quite fade!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Halloween wrote: »
    Jamelia, you've hit the nail on the head there! My friends and I think it's a bit odd that the ones we weren't friendly with in school are only interested in finding out if they're still top dog, I have so much else to talk about but as soon as the topic changes they're not interested, it's like they are disappointed I've got a life better to the one at school.

    Gah.

    Correct, in a way. I have a few people I have these conversations with, but then again I enjoyed school for the most part and made quite a few friends. Some turns out were better friends than others, hindsight is a brilliant thing, and now I can look back at things, I do like to keep the bonds with the good friends I had.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I ask this of people, but only because when it's the first time I've seen them myself for 11 years it's difficult to know what else to say in small talk....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im not friends with anyone from secondary school, they were all morons.

    i've been asked too when i've bumped into someone who im in contact with. disappointment soon follows when i answer. i think it's just to find out the gossip like who get preggers etc
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why is it such a problem if people ask? Afterall you can just say you're not interested.

    Not saying you didnt, but some people did have a good time at school.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i was a fool in school, and if i live to 100, i wouldn't want to see any them. school for me was hell, and i know it makes me look a geek for saying this, but I don't see what the issue is with school. I don't see the merit in most colloquial things. one thing I like about being an adult is that I can be myself more, or at least develop myself. I see life as more matter of fact and nor shallow.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Although I was far from popular in school, school was pretty good in GCSE year and in 6th form. I finished school in 1998 and I've only really hung onto one person. Same with uni actually - just hung onto one person there too. Work's different as I've hung onto quite a few people from there after it went into liquidation last year.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    there's only one person from school i occasionally talk to. At the time school sucked, i wasn't the brightest, but spent hours trying my hardest to achive what i could, for which i was labelled a geek. Looking back tho school was a great laugh, the biggest worry was the excuse for not doing homework, or skiving off P.E., oh for those care free days again
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