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pregnant? or not?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
just a wondering but i have been having sex constantly for 6 months, almost 5 out 7 days a week and we have never used a condom and he has always came inside me and i have never had the pill or any sort of birth control, is it weird that i am not pregnant, not that we are trying ? but it does make me question whether am fertile or not :confused:

anyone else had this??

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It can take a normal, healthy couple up to 2 years to conceive naturally. I wouldn't worry about your fertility.

    What I would worry about is the fact that you say you aren't trying for a baby and yet you are having regular sex without contraception. I hope you have both been tested for STIs, at least!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah it took me 10 months of very frequent sex to conceive my 2nd child
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah it took me 10 months of very frequent sex to conceive my 2nd child

    I'm quite interested in how the dynamics of sex work when a couple is actively trying to conceive - much as 10 months of very frequent sex sounds like great fun, did you find it affected how you felt about sex? I've read articles where women describe how it starts to feel very odd when you know you're mostly having sex to fulfil a biological function rather than for love or for fun - they feel like it becomes a chore or a task that needs to be done. Was that your experience or did it feel like fun all the way? (Sorry to the OP if this is a hijack)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it didnt really affect how i felt about sex, because it never became purely about procreation. It was always still for fun
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh we've both been checked and we're fine, forgot to add that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    itll happen in its own time. Dont worry.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    remorria wrote: »
    , is it weird that i am not pregnant, not that we are trying ?

    I'm sorry but there is no way you don't, on some level, want a child. Is that not the real issue here?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have no idea how any person, male of female can have daily sex for half a year without any form of contraception without planing for a baby. Are you just like "fuck it. If I get pregnant, so be it." ?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    um, yeah, something like that -why not? Not everything in life has to be planned down to the last detail.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    um, yeah, something like that -why not? Not everything in life has to be planned down to the last detail.

    Yea, something like a holiday, or what kind of bike you will afford this summer, but you are changing your life massively with a child.

    At least for me, children remain either accidents or planned, and not oh for fuck sake, I'm bored let's make another one of those.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Yea, something like a holiday, or what kind of bike you will afford this summer, but you are changing your life massively with a child.

    At least for me, children remain either accidents or planned, and not oh for fuck sake, I'm bored let's make another one of those.

    :thumb: :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Other people are more relaxed about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    Other people are more relaxed about it.

    Obviously, as this thread shows.

    Even tho, I personally, would not call it "relaxed", but imprudent.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why do you think it is imprudent?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because it's a huge responsibility. And when taking on such a massive responsibility, it pays to think about it beforehand.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    Why do you think it is imprudent?

    Because setting a child into this world changes everything for you. You might have to reconsider your career, check up on your finances if you can even afford giving the baby everything it needs. So you should have a lot of checks on your be-ready-list. If you take your money and buy the first best car without comparing different dealerships, it's your fault, end of it, but you are setting another life into this world and you owe to it, to give it the best it can get.

    Basically what I want to say is, you don't need to verbally agree with your partner to get a child, but you should know when you are ready beforehand. Maybe I am prejudging the OPs situation, but it sounds to me, they are just a pair of horny teens doing what feels good and brings enjoyment without even considering what might come out of it (literally!).

    Might be a bit of a crass comparison but with a bit of imagination it might be like drunk driving. Yea, it's good and convenient compared to a long walk home, but there is a risk involved and if you do not want this to go against your will (getting a baby / running over someone), don't do it.

    Like I said, if you thought it over and you are fine with getting a baby, then go for it, and if you get pregnant that's a-ok with me. But if you are just doing it purely out of enjoyment not even thinking what kind of direction your life will be taking if you get pregnant, than this is, in the sense of the word, imprudent to me.

    /e: I'm just bad with words. It seems everyone can sum something up in one sentence for which I need a wall of text. Anyway, bear with me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    you are setting another life into this world and you owe to it, to give it the best it can get.

    i disagree with that
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because it's a huge responsibility. And when taking on such a massive responsibility, it pays to think about it beforehand.

    What's wrong with thinking about it if and when it happens?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It seems like there's some idea today that in order to have a kid you absolutely need to have everything planned, have the future child's finances sorted out until 18 years of age and both parents be 100% mentally ready.

    I think most people over the age of 20 (even 18) can deal with the responsibility of a child. I get a kid to my home every other weekend and really, all she really needs is food, affection and a place to sleep. Of course she also wants every Hello Kitty merchandise out there but does not getting it ruin her life? No.

    Yes there are hard times being a parent and you need to compromise but I can't really see the big deal as most people around me compromise on things all the time. I don't enjoy everything life puts me through but things get done and I'm still alive. Life's hard, children or no children.

    I think it's good if the parents' lives are in a nice comfortable routine when a kid gets made but it's not necessary. I don't get this pressure people put on themselves to make absolutely everything "perfect" before daring to pop out a sprog. Kids don't even know what perfection is.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find the people really trying for a baby a bit weird - when you do and don't have sex controlled by a calendar - ugh.


    And just because we can now control when we don't have a child doesn't mean we must chose to
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    geneve:

    There was a financial crash where I live in 2008. At the time people warned that children might suffer but it turns out that despite the financial hardship a big part of the nation is facing surveys now show that the children are overall happier all of the sudden. Why? Most people guess because their parents spend more time with their children.

    Sure, it's good to strive for the things you mentioned but keep in mind that children don't want their parents away all the time to work on their careers. They just want time with mom and dad and their family.

    Of course, I'll admit I wasn't ready myself to have kids until I moved into my own house. I don't have money in the bank (deposits on the house, woo!) and I figured I didn't want my work getting in the way of having a kid.

    Eventually people have different goals and views of the world. :) I do understand where you're coming from and it used to be my view. Now I prefer not worrying about the future and just letting it happen. I certainly know I can deal with raising a kid now. In fact, I very much look forward to the challenge. However, there's definitely a lot to think about! I wouldn't want to be with no income, lol.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big Gay wrote: »

    And just because we can now control when we don't have a child doesn't mean we must chose to

    ^^^this

    obviously it's best to avoid having a child when you're not ready for it, but if you are, you can just let it happen when it does without planning every last detail.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    ^^^this

    obviously it's best to avoid having a child when you're not ready for it, but if you are, you can just let it happen when it does without planning every last detail.

    I also agree.

    Not to mention that it seems to really get to people when they're actively trying to conceive but it's not happening as fast as they'd like. It seems to take over their lives.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Y'see, when I see people who want this much control over when they have children, it just makes me think they're going to want this much control over their children.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    geneve wrote: »
    Because by then it might be a little late to make the necessary changes. I agree with Strubbles somewhat. Surely everyone must want the best for their offspring. The 'best' of course varies from person to person, for me, it is going to take considerably longer than a few months.
    i disagree with that

    Not the best on a worldwide scale, but the best you personally can do.
    And of course in metes and bounds. Not pampering, but doing more than just the absolute necessary, even tho this still leaves a lot of room for interpretation, but I think you know what I mean.
    Jaloux wrote: »
    It seems like there's some idea today that in order to have a kid you absolutely need to have everything planned, have the future child's finances sorted out until 18 years of age and both parents be 100% mentally ready.

    I think most people over the age of 20 (even 18) can deal with the responsibility of a child. I get a kid to my home every other weekend and really, all she really needs is food, affection and a place to sleep. Of course she also wants every Hello Kitty merchandise out there but does not getting it ruin her life? No.

    Yes there are hard times being a parent and you need to compromise but I can't really see the big deal as most people around me compromise on things all the time. I don't enjoy everything life puts me through but things get done and I'm still alive. Life's hard, children or no children.

    I think it's good if the parents' lives are in a nice comfortable routine when a kid gets made but it's not necessary. I don't get this pressure people put on themselves to make absolutely everything "perfect" before daring to pop out a sprog. Kids don't even know what perfection is.

    Sounds sensible, but I have the thought that you are overexaggerating my beliefs. I do not say you need to get her all the hello kitty merchandise, or have a pram before the birth and go to the fortune teller to know your babies fate.

    What I mean is, for example, having a stable relationship (sorry for prejudging the OP again), but it sounds like they are in the middle of the honeymoon-phase of a relationship.

    There is a huge gap between deciding what kind of of birthday present you will make your child on it'S 6. birthday before it is born, and just having loads of unprotected sex, because contraception is boring, or condoms just don't feel good, getting the pill is strenous and put everything else on hold, because sex sex sex.

    And I am somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.
    katralla wrote: »

    obviously it's best to avoid having a child when you're not ready for it, but if you are, you can just let it happen when it does without planning every last detail.

    This is something I can agree to. Maybe I was not precise enough in the phrasing of my opinion. I don't need everything "planned" out, like having a name beforehand or everything has to be "perfect", but you should be ready. And realizing, "oh shoot, I was having unprotected sex for 6 months now. Could I be pregnant? Am I infertile? Oh what the hey. My bf is naked in bed, talk soon xoxo." does not sound ready to me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big Gay wrote: »
    I find the people really trying for a baby a bit weird - when you do and don't have sex controlled by a calendar - ugh.


    And just because we can now control when we don't have a child doesn't mean we must chose to

    its a very very primitive urge for a woman, and when the broodiness strikes, it can be pretty all encompassing unfortunatly. It doesnt bear any relation to how controlling you are of your child.
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