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Dilemma
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So last year, I had a fuck buddy, let's call him Bob (great in bed, otherwise a total dick). Bob and I stopped seeing each other because he wanted a gf, I didn't want to be his gf, so he went and found himself someone else with no hard feelings and that was that.
Bob has recently been texting me, asking me to meet up with him for some of the usual. I have a bf now so was inclined to say no, which didn't stop me getting a few more texts from him anyway.
None of this would be an issue, except he is still with the gf. Initially the texts were about he would be breaking up with her soon, but then moved onto 'I have some free time today...'. I have him on facebook and so could message the girlfriend, because if I were her I'd want to know what a tosser my bf was. But she doesn't know me from adam.
Do I keep my nose out or do I tell her what he's been up to?
Bob has recently been texting me, asking me to meet up with him for some of the usual. I have a bf now so was inclined to say no, which didn't stop me getting a few more texts from him anyway.
None of this would be an issue, except he is still with the gf. Initially the texts were about he would be breaking up with her soon, but then moved onto 'I have some free time today...'. I have him on facebook and so could message the girlfriend, because if I were her I'd want to know what a tosser my bf was. But she doesn't know me from adam.
Do I keep my nose out or do I tell her what he's been up to?
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Comments
Does your current BF know? if he finds the text's you wouldn't want him over reacting, also set bob straight (which im sure you've done)
Tell this guy that he's a majorly deluded dickhead by all means, but I wouldn't do any more than that.
I'd also be wary of jumping too quickly to conclusions about his relationship unless you definitely know the deal between them. Could they be in an open relationship or looking for a third person to join their sex life?
The reason this springs to mind is because I'm interested in the way you phrased your refusal: "I have a boyfriend now so I'm INCLINED to say no". I might have totally the wrong end of the stick but this sounds like you might have entertained the thought for a bit?
Not at all, kisses! It's just my weird turn of phrase, not that it wasnt flattering.
It's a bit complicated Hellfire. These texts started before my bf and i became official(a week ago, though we've been seeing each other over a month), but even then I said no to Bob. I think Bob's texts didn't stop straight away because i didn't initially say 'no, i have a bf' (because i didn't), i just said 'no thanks'. They seem to have stopped since I said 'no, i have a bf'. But before we were official/exclusive/whatever, I did tell the bf about the texts, haven't mentioned them since.
He has not mentioned his gf joining in at all, he's just bitched a bit about her. I dont think a threesome is what he is shooting for. I should have made this a poll shouldn't I? I don't know what to do.
If you arent interested in him, stop contacting him and leave him be.
:thumb:
there are pros and cons to this situation.
to tell, means you're helping someone out. But, you'll risk ruining your image because bob may or may not spread the word about you telling and diss you for being such a big mouth.
to stay quiet, you're doing yourself a favour, but at the same time, you know you didnt help that girl.
so it comes down to how u want to play your life out because you need to face the consequences of your actions. which ever you decide, you should not regret.
my experience was that i butt in on other people's business twice. the first time i regretted scolding my friend's ex because he then spread the word among my friends and they thought badly of me, but then i realised, at least i made my friend smile.
the second time, i do not regret for a single bit because i sticked up for my friend.
so, it's your choice.
hope that helped. hugs
I didn't need anyone to tell me what to do, I just wondered what other people would do, to help me decide. I have no mutual friends with this guy, so I don't really care what my image is among those people.
no, I did appreciate your input, I was just clarifying myself.
K- I haven't had anymore texts from him and I don't expect I will for a while. I did tell him he should break up with her because it is the kind thing to do if he isn't happy, but he hasn't.
Then get your bf to tell the lass in question
Not my bf anymore the spy has been decommissioned.
*applies mouthspray* Oh hello thar
and again... 'youuuu slaaaagg' j/ks
gasp! you mean I'm not the only one?
:crying: sorry!:crying:
It's OK... I'll learn to love again... one day...