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Changes in behaviour

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I recently met this guy from college, we got talking over the internet and he seemed interested at first, he would say hello as soon as i logged on and would talk none stop really. After we met IRL for a chat etc to get to know him hes been different, he wont say hello to me unless i start the conversation.


Anyone got any idea what this means? i feel like im over thinking it all.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When has it ever been like a man to make an effort? :P
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe he is not attracted to you?

    Maybe he is busy?

    Maybe he just lost interest, because he always had to say "hello" first, without you ever doing a step towards him?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont know for certain, when i say hello he talks and we seem fine. So he doesnt "have" to say it first, its just something ive noticed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ducklost wrote: »
    I dont know for certain, when i say hello he talks and we seem fine. So he doesnt "have" to say it first, its just something ive noticed.

    This is actually nothing noticeable to me. When you like talking to him then something I notice is, that you wait for him to say hello first. Try to not interpret too much in it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He doesn't fancy you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamelia wrote: »
    He doesn't fancy you.

    how can you be so sure?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't. It's my guess as to what the explanation is.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would guess the same.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest, I reckon he likes you but is a bit shy. It must be a bit strange going from talking online to in real life.
    And I used to be like that with girls I liked in school, I'd always pretend to not notice them until they said 'hi'. Don't ask me why.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamelia wrote: »
    He doesn't fancy you.

    That's my guess as well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I mean we talked fine etc on the internet, and when we met IRL we spoke quite well and had a good time, but after that back on the internet..it seemed more weird.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If it's weird after you met up there's probably a reason.

    Things going 'quite well' when you met doesn't have to mean a thing. Most people tend not to run away screaming when they go on a date that doesn't quite work for them.
    In my experience, it's only how they react afterwards that tells the real story.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jaloux wrote: »
    If it's weird after you met up there's probably a reason.

    Things going 'quite well' when you met doesn't have to mean a thing. Most people tend not to run away screaming when they go on a date that doesn't quite work for them.
    In my experience, it's only how they react afterwards that tells the real story.

    it seems less weirder now.

    I mean it wasnt a "date" persay, I seen it more of a "Lets talk IRL thing"..it was an innocent coffee really.. but meh..he gave me a hug willingly at the end though? that counts right:chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just as an alternative thought, it could be that when he met you he didn't feel that the vibes from YOU were very strong and he got a bit insecure.

    So his not saying hello first might be more of an attention seeking manouevre, because if you come to HIM then you must be interested, etc.

    I'm not saying this is what the situation is, it's just something else to consider.

    I have to say though, you could always ask him. Nobody likes to appear insecure or needy but you could ask him if the meeting did anything to change his perceptions of you or his feelings towards you. If you ask him to be totally, or brutally, honest then he may be bold enough to do so.

    These are my thoughts. I'm only a newbie though so don't kill me pls! :crazyeyes ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    super147 wrote: »
    Just as an alternative thought, it could be that when he met you he didn't feel that the vibes from YOU were very strong and he got a bit insecure.

    So his not saying hello first might be more of an attention seeking manouevre, because if you come to HIM then you must be interested, etc.

    I'm not saying this is what the situation is, it's just something else to consider.

    I have to say though, you could always ask him. Nobody likes to appear insecure or needy but you could ask him if the meeting did anything to change his perceptions of you or his feelings towards you. If you ask him to be totally, or brutally, honest then he may be bold enough to do so.

    These are my thoughts. I'm only a newbie though so don't kill me pls! :crazyeyes ;)

    Brutally asking him even though were only friends?

    isnt that sorta asking him out? XD
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ducklost wrote: »
    Brutally asking him even though were only friends?

    isnt that sorta asking him out? XD

    Lol, not really :P Your level of thought over this suggest that you are interested in more than friendship. Even if that's not the case you are still concerned about why he seems different since you met. So the best way to find out is to ask.

    You don't have to make it like shining a spotlight on his face in a darkened room. You could just ask him about his perceptions of you before you met up and whether meeting you changed those at all? Whether you were like he'd imagined, etc. You may have already done that.

    Limbo is the crappiest place to be, so unless you can just put the thoughts out of your mind and accept this friendship/relationship for whatever it is then you might as well try and put your mind at rest by talking to him about it. If he likes you, cool. If he likes you as a friend, also maybe cool. If he thought one thing but has kind of changed his mind then fine, at least you'll know.

    I am always in favour of clearing up ambiguity. Knowing where you stand, bad or good, always makes it easier to sleep at night :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    super147 wrote: »
    Lol, not really :P Your level of thought over this suggest that you are interested in more than friendship. Even if that's not the case you are still concerned about why he seems different since you met. So the best way to find out is to ask.

    You don't have to make it light shining a spotlight on his face in a darkened room. You could just ask him about his perceptions of you before you met up and whether meeting you changed those at all? Whether you were like he'd imagined, etc. You may have already done that.

    Limbo is the crappiest place to be, so unless you can just put the thoughts out of your mind and accept this friendship/relationship for whatever it is then you might as well try and put your mind at rest by talking to him about it. If he likes you, cool. If he likes you as a friend, also maybe cool. If he thought one thing but has kind of changed his mind then fine, at least you'll know.

    I am always in favour of clearing up ambiguity. Knowing where you stand, bad or good, always makes it easier to sleep at night :)

    Sounds good, and yeah you are right, i'd like more than friendship. Might ask him then. Its a bit of an awkward question i think. Hmm:chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ducklost wrote: »
    Sounds good, and yeah you are right, i'd like more than friendship. Might ask him then. Its a bit of an awkward question i think. Hmm:chin:

    It is not, if he is interested in you too. If he doesn't, pff, who cares. I just broke the news to my girl of interest that I have a crush on her and that was that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    It is not, if he is interested in you too. If he doesn't, pff, who cares. I just broke the news to my girl of interest that I have a crush on her and that was that.

    I appreciate your input, but you dont have to be such a jerk.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ducklost wrote: »
    I appreciate your input, but you dont have to be such a jerk.

    I think you misunderstood me there, but my bus comes in 10 minutes and I have to hurry, so i make it short:

    I wasn't being offensive.
    break the news to him, he will be forthcoming if he likes you and you'll know immediatelly and probably painlessly if he does not. So win/win
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ducklost wrote: »
    it seems less weirder now.

    I mean it wasnt a "date" persay, I seen it more of a "Lets talk IRL thing"..it was an innocent coffee really.. but meh..he gave me a hug willingly at the end though? that counts right:chin:

    It was a date
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