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FML- help me.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
RIGHT THEN,if your not feeling an essay,i'd stop reading now,my lifes a shambles atm!..
basically,i've liked the same boy for five months now,and we've been through quite alot together,he started talking to me around 9 months back,and after 3 months i plucked up the currage to actually meet him,even though i'd seen him around and didn't want anything to happen between us,because i liked someone else.. but as soon as i met him,i had feelings for him.. and things started to fuck up. he came to my house..we didn't 'do anything' because i didn't feel comfortable seeing as i wasn't 100% sure if i was being used or not.. and after that,he ignored my for four days,until he text me asking if i was going to his new years eve bash,in which i replied 'if i can still walk,yes i'll meet you and come to yours' .. but of course i couldn't walk,so didn't go to his,and i still regret not going. as he decided to shag my friend,which left me broken.
but,me being me,i moved on..and after around 2 months of arguing and ignoring eachother,we gradually began to talk again,and when he passed his driving test,we started to get closer again. i still heard things i didn't want to here,but..i was so happy that things were finally getting back to normal that i tried to stay happy and make sure i didn't take anything for granted. but.. around 5 weeks ago,he came to mine,and we shagged:/ i didnt and still dont regret it,as he was lovely to me afterwards and we'd been close for a while..but then i went back and did it twice again,and i dont think i should have. we're now currently not talking,i'm having a serious family meltdown,and we're not the most loving or normal of fams it has to be said!:L ..but i cant stop thinking about him
i mean,i've only wrote down the surface of whats gone on,so much has happend between us,but it would quite literally take forever if i was to write it all down,i just dont know what to do.. because i cant even think of him with another girl cause it hurts me so bad..i sound so pathetic cause i've never been like this before but no one understands or really cares,and i just feel like jumping on him and telling him i'm fucking mad about him?! its so stupid,and i cant go on like it for much longer 
btw,i'm 14 and he's 17..something he seems to care about when his friends are around,and couldn't care less when its just me and him- HOW ANNOYING.
please please please gimme some advise? & be nice,i'm fragile right now!
:L xxxxxx
basically,i've liked the same boy for five months now,and we've been through quite alot together,he started talking to me around 9 months back,and after 3 months i plucked up the currage to actually meet him,even though i'd seen him around and didn't want anything to happen between us,because i liked someone else.. but as soon as i met him,i had feelings for him.. and things started to fuck up. he came to my house..we didn't 'do anything' because i didn't feel comfortable seeing as i wasn't 100% sure if i was being used or not.. and after that,he ignored my for four days,until he text me asking if i was going to his new years eve bash,in which i replied 'if i can still walk,yes i'll meet you and come to yours' .. but of course i couldn't walk,so didn't go to his,and i still regret not going. as he decided to shag my friend,which left me broken.
but,me being me,i moved on..and after around 2 months of arguing and ignoring eachother,we gradually began to talk again,and when he passed his driving test,we started to get closer again. i still heard things i didn't want to here,but..i was so happy that things were finally getting back to normal that i tried to stay happy and make sure i didn't take anything for granted. but.. around 5 weeks ago,he came to mine,and we shagged:/ i didnt and still dont regret it,as he was lovely to me afterwards and we'd been close for a while..but then i went back and did it twice again,and i dont think i should have. we're now currently not talking,i'm having a serious family meltdown,and we're not the most loving or normal of fams it has to be said!:L ..but i cant stop thinking about him
i mean,i've only wrote down the surface of whats gone on,so much has happend between us,but it would quite literally take forever if i was to write it all down,i just dont know what to do.. because i cant even think of him with another girl cause it hurts me so bad..i sound so pathetic cause i've never been like this before but no one understands or really cares,and i just feel like jumping on him and telling him i'm fucking mad about him?! its so stupid,and i cant go on like it for much longer btw,i'm 14 and he's 17..something he seems to care about when his friends are around,and couldn't care less when its just me and him- HOW ANNOYING.please please please gimme some advise? & be nice,i'm fragile right now!
:L xxxxxx 0
Comments
*Hugs* Annoying and unfair to you - on lots of counts by the sounds of it, it's no wonder you're feeling down about this situation, it sounds like a right old emotional rollercoaster for you.
From what you've told us this guy has been good to you at points - infact the first time you had sex with him you didn't regret it, since then you've been hearing things that you'd rather not but still hoping that there might be something between you.
Obviously you don't want or need a lecture, but it's important to remember that sex between a consenting (16+ year-old) young person and a non consenting young person (Under 16) is illegal. The Brook website has the legal low-down on this, and although it's unlikely you'd get into any trouble, it's worth being aware of all the facts - http://www.brook.org.uk/my-rights/sex-relationships-and-your-rights/having-sex
Perhaps more importantly though, saying yes to sex is also about being emotionally prepared, at any age. For instance, you say you felt no regret after the first time you had sex with this guy because he was good to you. Then, at the point that things started to become uneasy between the two of you, you had sex again and didn't feel so great about it.
Perhaps you felt used? Or you felt that he'd taken advantage of how much you liked him and perhaps didn't reciprocate the feelings as much as you'd hoped? It can feel really horrible when this happens and the good thing to remember is that you can feel in control again in future if you ask yourself before you have sex: is this a situation where I feel this person fully respects me, I respect them and I'm totally happy with this situation?
I'd also like to say that you really don't sound pathetic at all - you have strong feelings for someone who at some stage has made you feel special, but now seems to have let you down, it certainly sounds like he is fond of you, but perhaps isn't ready to face the responsibility of his actions. This isn't pathetic, it's just human.
So what to do? One option is to write him a letter to let him know exactly how you feel - doing this can be easier than talking face-to-face and can be a powerful way to lay your feelings on the line. Try a few drafts writing down all your thoughts, and then perhaps create a shorter version that really gets to the heart of what you want to say to him. How he responds to this letter will be very telling as to whether or not you're as important to him as you hope. Be prepared to accept rejection though, and if that happens then as hard as it will be, at least you can pick up the pieces and think about your future friendships and relationships with other people and decide whether you want any kind of contact with him from there on.
Hope this helps a little.
Take good care of yourself and let us know how you get on.
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
'personified hero' ..i didn't come here for an english lesson,i get them at school,i came here for help,and if your not going to give it? don't bother commenting.. is it so hard for people not to be bitchy,grow up
Nicely done :thumb: