If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
He's met someone new.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone, I'm new here. I hope I get some sort of comfort from posting on this site.
I was with my ex boyfriend for 4 years on and off up until september 09, and have only recently stopped sleeping with him (a few weeks ago). He has now met a new woman who he has only known for a few weeks. She is very full on with him and keeps pushing him to put a label on their status when he prefers to keep it casual. However, I suspect he might feel more for her than he lets on because I (ashamedly) read his texts and found one describing how amazing she is in bed and here's the killer line - he said 'you are definitely my favourite person of all'. This hurt me inside.
Him and I are very close and he has always said he wants us to always be close, 'closer than individual snow flakes snuggled up tight together in a snowball'. He has always said I am his favourite person in the world and that he loves me, that I'm beautiful and amazing. He also said we had to break up because of his jealousy issues within relationships, but that he loved me more than anyone but just couldn't handle the relationship. I told him I couldn't wait forever for him to get over his commitment and jealousy issues but we agreed we would stay best of friends.
It all just hurts because I love him dearly and thought I was special to him, but after reading certain texts I am doubting his sincerity, either with me or her. Either way I am very confused. I am also terrified that the new woman will try and push him and I apart as she has already made comments such as 'don't fall asleep on her shoulder mind' when we travelled by train together recently. She is bi-polar and I worry about the implications of that if she takes a strong dislike to me whilst going through a bad phase.
The man in question and I spend a lot of time together and I'm scared she will put that at risk and/or try to cause trouble because of that. She has gotten very attached to him very quickly and recently got 'jealous and frustrated' when he spent a night at my house yet she was as sweet as pie to my face.
The man is my very closest friend, he is my only rock with regards to self-harm and has always been the one who can pull me out of a downward spiral, but ironically this situation makes my self-harming urges worse. I love him and can't bare it. I just want the honest truth about his feelings for her and for me. The trouble is, he's a crowd-pleaser and wouldn't want to offend anyone so I don't know what is genuine any more. I worry particularly about him feeling obliged to care for me because he knows I don't trust anyone else with my self-harm and depression issues. I want him to spend time with me because I am the 'best friend' he claims I am, not because he's scared of what will happen to me without him.
Sorry for the extremely long post. I just don't know how to stop the gut wrenching feeling inside over the whole situation. It makes me feel sick inside because I can't see a way around it.
I was with my ex boyfriend for 4 years on and off up until september 09, and have only recently stopped sleeping with him (a few weeks ago). He has now met a new woman who he has only known for a few weeks. She is very full on with him and keeps pushing him to put a label on their status when he prefers to keep it casual. However, I suspect he might feel more for her than he lets on because I (ashamedly) read his texts and found one describing how amazing she is in bed and here's the killer line - he said 'you are definitely my favourite person of all'. This hurt me inside.
Him and I are very close and he has always said he wants us to always be close, 'closer than individual snow flakes snuggled up tight together in a snowball'. He has always said I am his favourite person in the world and that he loves me, that I'm beautiful and amazing. He also said we had to break up because of his jealousy issues within relationships, but that he loved me more than anyone but just couldn't handle the relationship. I told him I couldn't wait forever for him to get over his commitment and jealousy issues but we agreed we would stay best of friends.
It all just hurts because I love him dearly and thought I was special to him, but after reading certain texts I am doubting his sincerity, either with me or her. Either way I am very confused. I am also terrified that the new woman will try and push him and I apart as she has already made comments such as 'don't fall asleep on her shoulder mind' when we travelled by train together recently. She is bi-polar and I worry about the implications of that if she takes a strong dislike to me whilst going through a bad phase.
The man in question and I spend a lot of time together and I'm scared she will put that at risk and/or try to cause trouble because of that. She has gotten very attached to him very quickly and recently got 'jealous and frustrated' when he spent a night at my house yet she was as sweet as pie to my face.
The man is my very closest friend, he is my only rock with regards to self-harm and has always been the one who can pull me out of a downward spiral, but ironically this situation makes my self-harming urges worse. I love him and can't bare it. I just want the honest truth about his feelings for her and for me. The trouble is, he's a crowd-pleaser and wouldn't want to offend anyone so I don't know what is genuine any more. I worry particularly about him feeling obliged to care for me because he knows I don't trust anyone else with my self-harm and depression issues. I want him to spend time with me because I am the 'best friend' he claims I am, not because he's scared of what will happen to me without him.
Sorry for the extremely long post. I just don't know how to stop the gut wrenching feeling inside over the whole situation. It makes me feel sick inside because I can't see a way around it.
0
Comments
He has to choose between you and her. If he chooses her, be brave and let him go completely. Don't stay hanging around in limbo forever hoping he'll eventually come back to you, it'll tear you apart.