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Freaked out

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
Sorry I didn't know where to put this, or how to explain it.
But I really freaked out last night, like really. I was texting this guy, and we were having a bit of fun you know? And then I really flipped. I don't know what happened... but I suddenly felt really dirty. I had to go and make my self sick, and I cut myself really deeply, and I started scrubbing myself with a flannel thing and soap...
I didn't want to, I didn't mean to. But I suddenly came over feeling like I had to...
I don't know what to think really, or what to do...
Xx

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How are you feeling now?

    Perhaps the text flirting was fun to start with and then you started questioning it, worrying whether he was using you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No I'm not worried about that... I spoke to him earlier and he thinks it's his fault :-/ But it really isn't.
    We were sending pictures etc, and I know that sounds really sluty, but normally it doesn't bother me. Especially not with him, I like him.
    He still thinks it's his fault, but it really isn't. I don't know what to say to him.
    Xx
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Broken-Angel wrote: »
    No I'm not worried about that... I spoke to him earlier and he thinks it's his fault :-/ But it really isn't.
    We were sending pictures etc, and I know that sounds really sluty, but normally it doesn't bother me. Especially not with him, I like him.
    He still thinks it's his fault, but it really isn't. I don't know what to say to him.
    Xx

    Hey B-A, I hope you're OK, sounds like a really upsetting experience. Is this guy a similar age to you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe a bad analogy but a catholic guilt sorta thing?

    i really dont think what you did makes you slutty but if it makes you feel uncomfortable then just give it a miss. it's perfectly okay to try things out and decide it isnt for you. i hope this isnt too much information but once i had a one night stand just to test myself and do something completely out of character. i felt disgusted with myself afterwards and still feel a bit ashamed of it but it doesnt make me a bad person. i hope you feel better soon ba.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't get how texting makes you feel sick maybe your laying down sit up and you won't feel sick
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It could be a single word/phrase from the guy, giving the conversation a completely different feel/twist, and thus upsetting B-A as a knock-on effect.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was more the fact I just started to feel... wrong. Dirty I guess, for sending pictures and stuff.
    The guy is a bit older than me, and I don't normally mind, but I did just really have a weird moment and freak out.
    Xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know Geneve, there are pictures of me on child porn websites (or so an ex told me, he'd shared them round with his other friends too). But you learn to block it out, you learn to shut up and do as you are told and not argue.
    Xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's nice you think that Geneve... but believe me. Sometimes it's better to do what you are asked then face consequences.
    Xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it can feel like the consequences are worse but really, sticking up for yourself and doing what is best for you in the long run always works out best. If you think of things in terms of short, mid, and long term consequences, you will have more joy in doing what is best for you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Broken-Angel wrote: »
    I know Geneve, there are pictures of me on child porn websites (or so an ex told me, he'd shared them round with his other friends too). But you learn to block it out, you learn to shut up and do as you are told and not argue.
    Xx

    don't panic about you being on a child porn site they are the hardest porn site you could ever find because they are blocked by internet service providers
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have no positive progress to post Geneve.
    I'm sorry, but personally yeah it is easier to just do what someone says. If it means I'm not going to get injured or blackmailed, then yeah of course I'll take the easy way out.
    That's just how it goes.
    Xx
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