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Cancer and acting normal?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
On Thursday, my mum told me that her dad has cancer. On Friday, he phoned up and asked me how I was and I asked him the same. (it's out of habit) He then asked to talk to my dad.

I went out with dad later on the in evening and he said that granddad doesn't want people asking how he is. I said that yes I did ask; but it's out of habit and not "I know you have cancer and want to know how you're coping" type thing.

And how does one deal with this? Don't think mum is coping (given her current Facebook status) dad seems ok (him & mum's dad are close) and I don't know how to act.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am sorry to hear you and your family are suffering, with cancer. I would try to act as 'normal' as possible with your Grandad, and ultra sympathetic to your Mum.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with Katralla... maybe instead of how are you, you could ask how is your day?
    And I'm sorry to hear that your granddad has cancer too, are you close to him?
    Xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks you two.

    Today was rather awkward:
    Granddad phoned up for dad and asked how I was, to which I replied "how is your day"? Very hard not to ask how he is.

    It still hasn't quite sunk in.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe try to plan an opening few questions for him that avoid health so you've always got something to say when your mind wonders to thinking about his health. Something like 'what's the weather like where you are?' or 'Have you seen such and such on the news?'
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