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A partner with genital herpes...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone...
I'm going to go straight to the issue! After a couple of months together my bf told me he had herpes. I wasn't mad at him for waiting so long as I could see it was really hard for him to come out with it, he felt ashamed etc, even though we had already stopped using condoms (after both getting tested). Anyway, I immediately showed my support and said it was OK and he gave me some leaflets the nurse had given him to go away and read...- the scariest thing I read was that you can still pass it on when you DON'T have an outbreak, which freaked me out and he could tell, and now he thinks I've been put off him & sex. I haven't, I still like him just as much but now I'm scared that even if we abstain during a break out I can still get it any other time!!´
Please, has anybody dealt with this in a relationship? Can you just tell me I'm being paranoid and the chances are unlikely, is that true? Also, can I get tested for herpes even though I've never had any symptoms of it, not even a cold sore? And stupid questions like these...if he dries himself with a towel during an outbreak can I then get it from the towel/shower scrub etc?? Last time he was in the shower I asked him not to use my shower scrub cuz he had mentioned something about a tingling feeling the day before, and he was hurt! And I felt like a b*tch...
Thanks for any input / personal experiences.
(is this in the wrong forum? if so sorryyy)
I'm going to go straight to the issue! After a couple of months together my bf told me he had herpes. I wasn't mad at him for waiting so long as I could see it was really hard for him to come out with it, he felt ashamed etc, even though we had already stopped using condoms (after both getting tested). Anyway, I immediately showed my support and said it was OK and he gave me some leaflets the nurse had given him to go away and read...- the scariest thing I read was that you can still pass it on when you DON'T have an outbreak, which freaked me out and he could tell, and now he thinks I've been put off him & sex. I haven't, I still like him just as much but now I'm scared that even if we abstain during a break out I can still get it any other time!!´
Please, has anybody dealt with this in a relationship? Can you just tell me I'm being paranoid and the chances are unlikely, is that true? Also, can I get tested for herpes even though I've never had any symptoms of it, not even a cold sore? And stupid questions like these...if he dries himself with a towel during an outbreak can I then get it from the towel/shower scrub etc?? Last time he was in the shower I asked him not to use my shower scrub cuz he had mentioned something about a tingling feeling the day before, and he was hurt! And I felt like a b*tch...
Thanks for any input / personal experiences.
(is this in the wrong forum? if so sorryyy)
0
Comments
Yeah, I can see it would be difficult to bring up, but that's being a shit.
i don't think STD tests always test for herpes tbh. and the herpes test isn't always the most accurate anyways, so he could have got a false-negative for that- especially as that virus has a lifecycle whereby sometimes it presents itself and sometimes it remains latent in you.