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Thoughts on this

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Having big family probs at the mo and could do with some views on this;

Last week my sister said she has decided she doesn't want to be with her hubby anymore. He was moving out then she was and this has been ongoing since then, her not wanting to talk about it so it is hard to know the full story but at the mo they are still living together. She has only told me and mum and perhaps afew friends.

Around about the same time as her saying this she changed her relationship status on facebook to say that she is in a relationship with her best friend (female) and after her mother-in-law saw it and wasn't happy she changed it to say her relationship status is complicated.

I never know when to keep my mouth shut and told my mum about this earlier on the phone. She is now REALLY angry and upset saying how humiliating and that anyone could see it, what is she thinking, mum doesn't like this friend and now says she is no longer welcome in her house etc. Mum was mentally ill last year and although getting better she has been texting me loads tonight and has just text to say she is so upset she has taken a pill. Think she is referring to a pill she takes when she needs calming down, or a pill to help her sleep. She said she doesn't wish to see my sister anymore and is calling her names.

I thought it was just a joke on facebook but can sorta see where my mum is coming from. Do you think there is any truth in what my sis said bout seeing her friend or just a bit of fun? Please help, need to sort this out :(

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would have thought it would just be a bit of fun. Girl power kinda thing :)

    I hope you dont blame yourself, your mum probably would have found out eventually if it's all on facebook. Hopefully all this business about not seeing your sister was said in the heat of the moment. I know breakups (esp if your sis was married) can be pretty draining on the mothers too as well as the actual couple because everyone gets so riled up.

    Facebook is awful for this kinda thing and I'm going to assume that your sister meant it in a harmless way to just stick two fingers up at the world really. I can understand this. But people are going to be feeling pretty sensitive right now. I hope it all settles down soon and I would just try keep out of it. Especially on the satanic site that is facebook and just be here for your sis and your fam. That's all you can really do in situations like this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks :) I thought it was just meant as a bit of fun really which is why I said something to mum but wish I had stopped to think as I knew my sisters mother-in-law was annoyed about it so shoulda thought about how mum might feel, especially given mums history.

    I text mum to say I don't want her and my sis falling out and she text back to say she feels sorry for my sisters husband and my nephew. My sister has been married for almost 5 years and they have been together for 10 years in total, and have a young son, so yes it is understandable that people feel sensitive. I feel sorry for mum as one minute my sis was moving in with her, then the next she wasn't but didn't bother to tell mum or update her on things. Mum said she will speak to me tomorrow, I'm not working tomorrow so might pop round and see her in the morning.

    I'm just so fed up of families. I really feel like 'disappearing' with my hubby and letting people just get on with it. But nothing is that easy is it!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wen it comes to family drama, i am queen-ive been through it all. even this. just recently my sister had an engadgment broken off and she said she was going to be gay. i didnt hear her say it so i dont know if its a joke, but its none of my business(though personaly i think she needs to stay away from dating alltogether). and if your sis gets mad about anyone asking questions or misunderstanding well thats wat she gets for posting it on facebook. just wait for her to be ready to talk, when shes ready she will
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mum has just phoned and she really is livid. She said she has hardly slept. She wants me to take my sister round there later so she can tell her what she thinks! She said it was really insensitive to post that on facebook where loads of people who know the family could see it and wonder what it was all about. She said she thinks there is truth to it as she has started saying stuff my sis has told her and she said she thinks it was half the story and it makes sense if she is gay now. Thing is I am busy all day I have got the in-laws travelling tomorrow to stay all weekend so the timing of this is terrible. Mum said my sister needs to know how childish and selfishlessly she is acting. She even said she was going to phone my dad who lives a 4/5 hour drive away to come here and sort her out. I feel sick :( I am thinking that I need to go see my sister in person and explain but then she is likely to say she doesn't want to go round my mums then.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If your mum wants to speak to your sis then it's upto her to get her round not you! You aren't your sister's keeper. Honestly, I know she's been ill but I think things are far more likely to escalate if they drag people into this, including you. Just let them get on with it. I know it's hard because your mum has been ill recently but it's upto your sister to negotiate and calm your mum down and not you. I would have thought the in laws coming over is the perfect excuse to stay well out of it anyway :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Trouble is there is sooooooooooooooo much more story to this. You're right they need to sort it out between themselves, unfortunately I'm the level headed one and always seem to get dragged in. I want them both to sort it out and I know it could get really nasty without me there to act as a mediator. Sometimes I do wish I was able to detach myself from situations though :( You wouldn't think I was the younger sister. Have been doing my housework which helped take my mind off it, mum is out today and my sis is sleeping as she worked nights last night so will see what unfolds later on.......
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im level headed too, but when i get dragged in like that i usually yell my twosense about eeveeryone around to them tell them to fix it then stalk upstairs. then again im 15 and feel that its really pathetic if i know about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tis all sorted now, I won't bore people with all the details but there was shouting, swearing, hugs and laughter and it is now sorted. Something which my sis and I had kept from mum for months came out as well which is a huuuuuuuuuuuge relief, what a difference a day makes as they say!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :) im really pleased! must be a relief
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im glad, it must feel like a huge wieght lifted from your shoulders
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