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My dad and sister (illness)
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well...
My dads dieing.
He's now got to start injecting himself every week because his arthritis has got that bad. It's some really strong medicane, that's really expensive so they only give it out to the most ill patients. He has just said to me that when I next see him he's got to show me how to inject it, incase he gets so bad he can't do it himself. He said it's quite likely this will happen.
And my sister, I have also juts been told, is going into hospital in May for a few weeks. She is on really strong medicane, she's only 3, because she had a bladder infection... but it's got so serious now that she has very few white blood cells, and wont be able to fight off any infections. She's going in for MRI scans, untrasound scans, and another type of scan I can't remember. My dad said she's seriously ill, and she has had to drop out of nursery.
Fucking great. You know, I didn't think I'd actually care... but I'm fucking crying my eyes out here. :crying:
My dads dieing.
He's now got to start injecting himself every week because his arthritis has got that bad. It's some really strong medicane, that's really expensive so they only give it out to the most ill patients. He has just said to me that when I next see him he's got to show me how to inject it, incase he gets so bad he can't do it himself. He said it's quite likely this will happen.
And my sister, I have also juts been told, is going into hospital in May for a few weeks. She is on really strong medicane, she's only 3, because she had a bladder infection... but it's got so serious now that she has very few white blood cells, and wont be able to fight off any infections. She's going in for MRI scans, untrasound scans, and another type of scan I can't remember. My dad said she's seriously ill, and she has had to drop out of nursery.
Fucking great. You know, I didn't think I'd actually care... but I'm fucking crying my eyes out here. :crying:
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Comments
I know little about your relationship to your father (only that the one to your mother isn't the best), but this is the best opportunity to bury the hatchet and spend time with your father and say and talk about the things you never did, before you cannot do that anymore.
*hugs*
This wont make you feel any better, but things were probably easier for me than they will be for you. Unless he has other health issues, your father could survive with arthritis for years. At least my father was able to live some kind of normal life between attacks, but yours will become increasingly dependent on you as the pain gets worse and he becomes more and more immobile. The trouble is you only get one shot at being a great kid. I wasn't. I regret terribly that I didn't make more time for my father. We had a good relationship, but I was lazy and self-centred. I never realised until it was too late how much I would miss him. I still do, and there is nothing I can do about it.
Like StrubbleS says, we don't know very much about your relationship with your father. Like I said, people can go on with arthritis for years and there are undoubtedly going to be some difficult times ahead for you all. Treasure the good times that you have left. Try and make sure all the memories you have will be good ones.
Apart from the bladder infection, do they have any idea what's wrong with your little sister? Try to take comfort from the fact that while young children can fall very seriously ill very quickly, it is equally true that they have an amazing capacity to bounce back. You are all in my prayers tonight.
Example: I told him I eas going into Nottingham- on the bus like I normally do (he lives about 30mins away from central Nottingham) and I just shouted this down from upstairs. He shouted back he'd take me, because he had to get some stuff anyway... I go downstairs and he is crippled over on the floor in agony. So I said, I'll get the bus. But he insisted he was fine and that he'd take me.
He just doesn't want to admit how much pain he is in.
I get on with him alright, we get on better when it is just me and him. Because I don't like his wife (which is why I don't go and see him much.)
And my sister is more ill than my dad will say. I already know that. He asked if he could phone me tomorrow, and I said I didn't know because I'm in Brighton and staying at my aunts. He said I'll ring you there, so you can say hello to your sister. I said that I didn't know if I'd be in, and he mutterd "well she'll ring from hospital on her dea" he started to say death bed. But stopped. I didn't mention it to him though, I just let it go.
The other thing is, I never speak to my sister really. So it's odd for him to even suggest it. My stepmum says I'm a bad influence on her, and doesn't want me seeing her or contacting her. SHE'S THREE FOR FUCK SAKE!!!!!!
But thanks guys for replying, it's nice to know some people care
Xx
In the end, your relationship with your father is none of our business, but your comment above sounds so familiar to me. I used to have those sort of phone conversations with my father and it never occurred to me how much it hurt his feelings. In the end, he wrote to me to tell me how important it was to make time for the people you care about. I seem to remember his words were something like "as you get older, time goes much faster and you can't get it back".
I sometimes found speaking to my father awkward at home, as he was divorced from my mum and I didn't want her to overhear our conversations. We didn't have mobile phones back then. You are much more able to speak to your father wherever you are. If its awkward to talk in front of your aunt or your friends, just go somewhere private for a mo.
BUT my stepmum smokes fucking loads! And my sister sees her smoking, and walks round with a lolly stick in her mouth going "I'm you mummy" I think that is worse for her!!!!!
Xx
If your stepmum complains about your scars, because she cares about your sister then surely she shouldn't smoke around her, try talking to her about it and maybe she'll stop to smoke around ur sister, hope everything gets better