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What would you do if you friend....

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not going to post other peoples problems on here am i? :/
    My teacher told me to try find someone else to trust and I can't find it in any of my friends and I thought I'd ask advice on here but I didn't want to say it was me :/

    Ohkayy sounds really stupid and pathetic... :S
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not stupid.

    But if you're pretending that the problem is with a friend, you're not going to get the kind of advice you're looking for. I know it can be weird at first when you open up, but you don't need to be embarrassed on here. You can stay as anonymous as you want, and a lot of people on here will have been through the same thing and know exactly how you feel :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bleepy wrote: »
    I'm not going to post other peoples problems on here am i? :/
    My teacher told me to try find someone else to trust and I can't find it in any of my friends and I thought I'd ask advice on here but I didn't want to say it was me :/

    Ohkayy sounds really stupid and pathetic... :S
    Well if you'd said that in the first place we wouldn't have been so harsh on you. You are as anonymous as you want to be on here, like Kaff says. We're not going to judge you.

    If you feel you might have depression your best bet is to go to see a doctor. They will be able to give you advice or refer you to a counsellor or give you some medication if they feel you need it. Also keep talking on here about it, lots of us have been through similar issues and are happy to help. The doctor can't tell your parents anything unless they think you are a serious threat to yourself, and it doesn't sound like you are to me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't feel like i do thats the thing, but then people say that you don't know, then how people have said about it.... But i don't.....
    Ohh confussing myself now!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I once had a bit of a breakdown myself. I suddenly found that I couldn't speak to my mum at all. It wasn't rage. I physically couldn't SPEAK.

    Mum was not impressed. She took me to the doctor. She complained to him that I was acting weird and wouldn't talk to her. He sent me out of the room while he talked to her, then he talked to me. I told him I didn't know what was wrong, I just didn't know what to say to her and I was just clamming up. I can't remember whether he prescribed anything or not. Probably not. He never diagnosed depression, but some sort of anxiety attack. Talking to the doctor helped. I remember I cried a lot. After a few weeks the tension eased off and I began to rebuild my relationship with my mum. We have never mentioned that period since.

    I don't know what the point of my post was exactly. Just to say, sometimes in life we hit a difficult patch that may manifest itself in any number of strange ways. Increasingly, doctors are labelling these episodes as depression and prescribe pills that may, or may not, help. Sometimes, a sympathetic ear and time are all you need.

    Don't worry about your friends' frustration. If you recognise that there has been a catalyst for your current feelings, it might be worth discussing with a family member or a doctor. But keep sharing your thoughts with The Site and don't be afraid to be open.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    overthehill i'm so sorry to hear about that :/
    I'm guessing the reason I didn't lay out it was me with the problem to start off with is because when you read what people have posted, my minor problem is like a walk in the park and I don't want to waste people's time with my stupid problems... Seriously, I just got home from having my hair cut and she cut it way to short and i've have this mini breakdown, been crying about it for the last 20 minutes!!! I'm just wasting peoples time posting on here, just feel really confused thats all :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But it isn't a stupid problem. When (supposedly) trivial things like that set you off, there is clearly something bigger going on. Anyway, bad hair cuts aren't that trivial. If you hate your appearance, it will affect your self-esteem and that can be enough to trigger depressive thoughts in itself. Would you say that this might be an issue for you? It is a surprisingly common problem and, at its most extreme, can have a devastating effect on people's self-confidence, especially at an age where they should be becoming more independent and social.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know if it's an issue to me :S
    I don't know what the hells going on about how I'm feeling or thinking....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you don't want to speak to anyone, don't. Simple.
    You can't get help until you want it... don't let anyone else tell you want to do.
    I would advice you to get help, and to speak to as many people as you can, get everything sorted. But, if you don't want to do that then (so long as you are not a risk to yourself and others) no one can force you.
    It, also, might be worth starting a new thread? Asking for the spicific advice you would like, as it might be easier for us to help then. Don't worry, and remember you are annonymous to us here.
    Good luck,
    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bleepy wrote: »
    What would you do if your friend was really down alot of the time but wouldn't tell you what was wrong? They dont talk to you or any of your friends, unless you ask them a question and they just shrugs, or gives a really breif answer in a really quiet voice.
    Some days they're fine, seems chirpier but still seems quieter then usual..... They've told a teacher whats going on but thats it....

    Would you be angry at them for being miserable all the time?
    Would you talk to the teacher to try sort it out?
    Would you try be there for them no matter how they're moods turns out?

    What would you do....?

    Friends are not under any obligation to tell you everything about themselves, their past and their current issues. Yes, they shouldn't lie or decieve you, but that's a different thing.

    There are things I don't feel comfortable about telling even my closest friends. And very often, there's been something up with a friend of mine and they don't want to talk about it, which is fine. I just say I'm there if they need me and leave it at that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you don't want to speak to anyone, don't. Simple.
    You can't get help until you want it... don't let anyone else tell you want to do.
    I would advice you to get help, and to speak to as many people as you can, get everything sorted. But, if you don't want to do that then (so long as you are not a risk to yourself and others) no one can force you.

    :yes: If anyone does try to get you to talk about it, tell them to just leave it.

    I must take my own advice - I still haven't told the people I live with to back off about my supposed eating issues. (I've got teeth coming through on both sides - eating isn't exactly easy right now)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    geneve wrote: »
    I don't think it sounds like depression and sounds more like teenage hormones to me. Perhaps you shouldn't worry about it. Just try to maintain control of your emotions more, do some exercise, force yourself to socialise a bit and get out of your bad moods. It could work.

    Exactly what i think!

    But doesn't matter anyway - thanks everyone for posting
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