If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Online dating
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all.
I was wondering if anyone else had tried online dating, and what you thought of it? Late last year I decided to join plentyoffish.com and okcupid.com , both of them are decent as they're free.
My reasons are because since leaving uni I moved to Reading for work, and I just find it difficult to meet people here. I don't really have all that much confidence when it comes to going out in bars and chatting someone up! Especially when I go clubbing once every 3 months too.
My experiences thus far have been interesting. I met someone from Reading who I'm now friends with, so I guess success there in a way because we weren't right for dating but I now know someone in Reading.
I've also been in contact with three other girls. One of them sent me a picture that wasn't her and when she turned up she was massively overweight, and yes I know it sounds harsh but I didn't find her attractive in the slightest. So that didn't work out.
Another girl I met and we went out a couple of times. The third time I spent quite a bit because we met in London, when for lunch etc. Then I asked her to go on a proper date and she got all freaked out because she thought we were just going to be friends. I'm not sure how many people go to London and just splash out on taking their friends out for the day but I don't really understand how she thought I was looking for less when she said she was looking to date on this site.
The third girl I started talking to online 5 weeks ago. We spoke on the phone a lot and she was hesitant about meeting etc but eventually we arranged to meet last Saturday. She didn't turn up after I travelled for an hour to see her. I managed to get through to her when I got there and she asked me to wait, then just text and said she didn't want to (it was more of a story than that but I would be here for ages explaining).
I just wondered if anyone else had different experiences, and what they were. I've considered doing speed dating but I'm a bit apprehensive, do I hold out with the whole online thing?
Steve
I was wondering if anyone else had tried online dating, and what you thought of it? Late last year I decided to join plentyoffish.com and okcupid.com , both of them are decent as they're free.
My reasons are because since leaving uni I moved to Reading for work, and I just find it difficult to meet people here. I don't really have all that much confidence when it comes to going out in bars and chatting someone up! Especially when I go clubbing once every 3 months too.
My experiences thus far have been interesting. I met someone from Reading who I'm now friends with, so I guess success there in a way because we weren't right for dating but I now know someone in Reading.
I've also been in contact with three other girls. One of them sent me a picture that wasn't her and when she turned up she was massively overweight, and yes I know it sounds harsh but I didn't find her attractive in the slightest. So that didn't work out.
Another girl I met and we went out a couple of times. The third time I spent quite a bit because we met in London, when for lunch etc. Then I asked her to go on a proper date and she got all freaked out because she thought we were just going to be friends. I'm not sure how many people go to London and just splash out on taking their friends out for the day but I don't really understand how she thought I was looking for less when she said she was looking to date on this site.
The third girl I started talking to online 5 weeks ago. We spoke on the phone a lot and she was hesitant about meeting etc but eventually we arranged to meet last Saturday. She didn't turn up after I travelled for an hour to see her. I managed to get through to her when I got there and she asked me to wait, then just text and said she didn't want to (it was more of a story than that but I would be here for ages explaining).
I just wondered if anyone else had different experiences, and what they were. I've considered doing speed dating but I'm a bit apprehensive, do I hold out with the whole online thing?
Steve
0
Comments
met my a guy through a site called 'tagged' early last year. Not really a dating site but more a dating social network site than FB or myspace etc. 'Dated' for a couple of months. Also through there met another guy who I met for a shag one night.
Signed up to nz's main dating site. Met 4 guys off there.
#1: AWKWARD; Let me just state that again. AWWWWWKWAAAARD. It was bad, as we talked fine online. Then we met. He was shorter than I expected. More gothic than I expected. And I had to do all the talking. He just didn’t talk. There was more silence than anything.
We settled for a place to eat. Silence. Wow. I made an excuse to leave. Byeeeeeeee!
#2: The second one was really fun but no, just noooooo. Not my type. Too short. Lack of hair.
#3: The third meet up is still a good friend of mine. Though I got confused by this mysterious and sexy man. We met to play pool and when I met him, there were other people. That’s cool I guess. We flirted. I joined him at a bar with lots of people he knew and at the end of the night I got a handshake. What the …? We've had history, it's still a bit tense because of recent history but who knows.
#4: Was then my bf for three months.
Haven't been back on since cos I'm not interested in dating for a while, but it's not bad. I prefer it to bars/clubs, cos town is just a meat market really.
Oh and another guy I met on myspace years ago I recently met when I was in his home town, we met for a shag.
I'm a bit of an internet whore
{From social networking sites}
Number one: He was okay to start with, but it turned out I'd dated his little bro who was at my school and it got abit awkward... so we left that and I don't speak to him.
Number two: Freak. Complete freak, but I fell for him. And ermm yeah, he should be in prison.
And then there were a couple of others, but they were just online flirting etc.
I think I might leave it a couple of years
Xx
I usually struggle to talk to girls initially, get really shy approaching someone I fancy. I figured that making that initial approach online could eliminate that.
I can't fault the site at all, totally free and, in theory, a great way to meet new people. Personally speaking, I didn't spot anyone local who really stood out to me based on pictures and what they'd written.
I didn't use the site for a few weeks and pretty much forgot about it. Then I received a message from someone about 50 miles away in York. My first impression was that she looked really attractive and she was very complimentary and said she really liked my profile.
We started chatting online, messaging for hours on MSN about all sorts of stuff. Even though she was right there in front of me on web cam, and vise-versa, I wasn't intimidated or shy at all. It all just seemed so natural.
She gave me her phone number and asked me to call, then a week or so later she asked me if I'd like to visit.
At that point it occurred to me that she seemed really into me and then the shyness started to creep in a bit. I made my excuses at that point as to why I couldn't go. I just wanted to wait a little longer and think about how I wanted to approach meeting her as I didn't want to screw it up.
In the mean time, it turns out she's getting attention from a guy she once had a crush on. He turned her down back then, but now she thinks something might happen for them. I haven't got a clue where I stand now, especially as we were in the middle of arranging for me to go and visit next weekend.
Spent a couple of hours online with her last night and she was asking for advice about how she can get this other guy. I'm too nice to try and turn that around and make it about me, so I just ended up being the friend who gives advice. Seems to be the story of my life...
I'm struggling to work out if asking her, "Does this mean that it's pointless me coming to visit to see if we get on well in person and see if we want to take it further?", would be a really selfish question to ask.
Guess I'm just annoyed with myself as well because if I'd have visited when she first asked, things might have been different.
As it is, it might just end up with yet another crush that I can't take further.
I find with the free sites some of the girls and guys are on then for attention seeking reasons rather than to meet new people for friendship and relationships.
As for speed dating like you I was a bit apprehensive and I also suffer from anxiety, I got as far as the door and got really nervous and panicky so had to leave it.
you should try things like volunteering, local community activities. London can be very expensive, but there are some nice traditional pubs and bars if you branch out from central london.
Had a relationship with another awesome guy, got to the proposal stage andI freaked out, now we're just friends.
etc.
Online dating can be fun, just remember to block the freaks.
I met up with 2 people off of there. There first one and I got on really well with each other, still talk a lot, and if we lived nearer, we'd probably see each other more. However, whenever there's a big LGBT thing in East Anglia, we both go along, meet up, have a drink and whatnot.
The second guy was very awkward. Physically we were really at odds (he was a foot and a half taller than me and rake thin) and he was very awkward. We went down the Wetherspoons and he just sat there opposite me not talking, so I ended up going on a cider induced babble just so that something happened. The last time I saw him was in a nightclub in Norwich when I was going out with uni friends and it was awkward as fuck. He no longer speaks to me, but is still on my facey b for some reason.
There are a lot of people on there that made me feel very uncomfortable, and I had to do a lot of blocking, but if nothing else, I came out of the experience with someone I now consider a good friend. Even if you don't find someone you like romantically, there's a good chance you can connect on another level.