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Shy Guy Looking For Advice!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm writing to see if any females out there could tell me if they find shy, quiet guys appealing as I have found that at work I can talk non-stop about professional things, but in social settings I struggle to find a way of making a conversation last after the pleasantries with people I don't know (well). In particular, if there is a girl I really like, I can suffer from a mental block and a fear of missing the oppportunity to make a good impression. Thanks.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There are different people with different predilections, but in my opinion: shyness rarely pays off. It's like missing a limb and finding a chick that digs amputees. Throw yourself out there and work on your self-esteem. This is just a matter of practice, like everything else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally, because it is so hard to get to know most shy people I wouldn't bother chatting up someone who seemed shy. I am very out going, but I don't like doing all the talking. I like having proper conversations, and unless there was something really special I don't normally have time to get to know some one very shy.
    I think you should work on your confidence, the more you speak to people the easier it'll become. Next time you are with a group of people, why not try and start a convorsation? You don't have to say much, maybe just ask them their opinions on a certain subject? If you are in a big group, I'm sure you wont be the only one doing more listening than talking :thumb:
    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    See, I think shy guys can be quite attractive. It seems like there is something mysterious about them, and you have to talk to them to find out more. It depends though if once you talk to them they are interesting or if they still don't say much as to whether it is then a good thing or not though!

    But, I for one don't like in-you-face-talk-talk-talk people! So am slightly biased I guess.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Depends what you mean by shy, I guess. Relatively quiet, modest and self-effacing = great. Totally lacking in self-esteem and crippled by self-loathing = not great.

    I think lots of people have a natural tendency towards shyness. It's something you need to work on; labelling yourself as shy and so using that an an excuse never to talk to anyone is self-defeating. You need to push yourself, even though it's difficult. Force yourself to start a conversation with the girl you like, even though it's agony. It's the kind of problem that's only solved by practice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ask her questions and really listen to the answers, that way you don't have to think about things about yourself to talk about and, people like being paid attention to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    shyguy1 wrote: »
    I'm writing to see if any females out there could tell me if they find shy, quiet guys appealing as I have found that at work I can talk non-stop about professional things, but in social settings I struggle to find a way of making a conversation last after the pleasantries with people I don't know (well). In particular, if there is a girl I really like, I can suffer from a mental block and a fear of missing the oppportunity to make a good impression. Thanks.

    Same here so your not the only one:) Although I suffer from it all the time:impissed: :mad: :banghead: :banghead:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamelia wrote: »
    Depends what you mean by shy, I guess. Relatively quiet, modest and self-effacing = great. Totally lacking in self-esteem and crippled by self-loathing = not great.

    I think lots of people have a natural tendency towards shyness. It's something you need to work on; labelling yourself as shy and so using that an an excuse never to talk to anyone is self-defeating. You need to push yourself, even though it's difficult. Force yourself to start a conversation with the girl you like, even though it's agony. It's the kind of problem that's only solved by practice.

    :thumb: If you don't occasionally risk rejection to talk to a girl you really find attractive, you will never know whether you have anything in common. And, if you do find you have something in common. Presto! Shyness cured - even if the relationship doesn't go very far. The right girl will bring you out of yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im in a bit of an odd situation at times, sometimes people think im quite a shy quiet person when i can suddenly shock them (usually people i dont know well) by coming out as my normal self.

    I seem to always think with many things that Im not confident, when infact everyone else around me thinks i am, its not me putting on a shield of confidence and blagging it, what I see as not confident is often seen as quite confident to others.

    However in certain situations I just go to complete rat shit, and the lack of confidence doesnt so much harm myself, or my chances with ladies, it does however stop me from doing anything, sort of being a bit yellow belly.
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