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Some advice needed pls!!!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi there, new to this site but really need some decent advice...
So i have been seeing a guy since december, things have been going well.. he said he loves me, wants me to be his girlfriend, and wants to be with me forever. I feel that same way about him and have really fallen for him.
However, the last few days have been a bit odd. He has recently taken on a job in a bar, where he has been scheduled to work every single day for the last 10 days... I was suposed to be be seeing him tonight and since last sunday he has been saying he will let me know if he can see me tonight but he hasn't given me an answer although he must surely know what his rota is???!!! 3 days I have been waiting for an answer...
I am starting to think that something has happened and he has changed his mind about me... or he might just be genuinely busy. Either way it is driving me crazy... What should i do???
So i have been seeing a guy since december, things have been going well.. he said he loves me, wants me to be his girlfriend, and wants to be with me forever. I feel that same way about him and have really fallen for him.
However, the last few days have been a bit odd. He has recently taken on a job in a bar, where he has been scheduled to work every single day for the last 10 days... I was suposed to be be seeing him tonight and since last sunday he has been saying he will let me know if he can see me tonight but he hasn't given me an answer although he must surely know what his rota is???!!! 3 days I have been waiting for an answer...
I am starting to think that something has happened and he has changed his mind about me... or he might just be genuinely busy. Either way it is driving me crazy... What should i do???
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Comments
We can't possibly know his reasons so your best bet is to ask him directly. Good communication is key in a successful relationship so chat to him about it.
I am just worried that if I ask him again, I will be pressurising him and look like a nag! This is so tricky, feel a bit like a puppet on a string... It's really upseting me. Is there any way that I could aproach it without making myself look stupid and making him want me?
Well I have text him and will wait and see what he says, and if he mentions seeing me. If not, I think I may have to let him go, as I do not want to be mucked about!
Small liberties at this stage in your relationship could result in him taking larger liberties later.
Set the tone for your relationship now. Your's is a partnership, not a one-way street for his benefit.
He may well have a reasonable excuse but it is his responsibility to ensure that this has been relayed to you, with an indication of when he will see you next. Best of luck! :thumb:
Well I think it worked!! I told him that I would like him to tell me whats happening so that I can plan my week as well... Turns out he is working tonight, Thurs and Fri, but can see me Fri after work and Saturday. Hmmm at least that got me a straight answer. Still not the best of situations, but what can you do???
I am hoping that this bar job situation is just temporary... or it could be a relationship destroyer! Whats the point in being with someone if you never see them?
If you want to find out how serious he is about the bar work etc and if it's long term, ask him how works going when you see him.
Xx
It's good you got a response from him, perhaps you should have a chat with him about his work and find out if it's a busy period or what. If he's got bills that need to be paid it's quite understandable that he'd get as much work in as possible.
I think he is doing exactly what you say, trying to work as much as possible, although they took him on as Part time staff, he is now working full time and beyond!!
Maybe I should chill a bit, after all if we are meant to be together we will make it work. Although it feels like i'm having a long distance relationship with a guy who lives 10 minutes from me. Bah!!!