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To do it or not to do it.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi. :)

If anyone saw my post on the relationship section a few weeks ago now. Actually nearly a month then you'll already know my situation.

Well. My friend who had been texting me for ages since we left school and who I've known for six years - asked my out a few days after I wanted some adivce about whether I should be with him.

We've been going out for around a month now and I love it I really do :)
The only thing is when we're together we have really nice long kisses but when we stop I can tell he wants me.

And I'm not sure if I want to go that far with him yet - to actually having sex with him.

I really really really do like him. I know he's a virgin like me but I'm just scared that if we do do it and then maybe in the future we break up (hopefully not) that it'd be too hard to be friends.

Thanks.
SS.x

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whether you have sex or not wont make much difference to how you feel if you break up
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your falling for him regardless, so if u do ever break up it will hurt regaurdless, but at least neither of u will regret ur first time because u both trust eachother and r already cllose in every other way. iif ur ready u have nothing to loose.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Obviously, you shouldn't do anything you don't feel comfortable with, or aren't ready to do.

    But as Big Gay points out, you'll feel exactly the same way if you break up with him, whether you have sex with him or not. Breakups are horrible regardless.

    The only way to avoid that risk is never to have a relationship or love anyone, ever. And that's a price not worth paying. There's always a risk that if we go out with someone, then we split up, we'll feel sad. But it's a risk worth taking, overall.

    I had a friend who I decided to make the transition to more than friends with. It ended painfully and sleeping together ruined the friendship - if we hadn't had sex, and had just been friends, we would probably still be friends now. I don't regret it though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you feel right with it and so does he, then why not? You can't base your life on 'what if's'.
    You could be married to someone for years and then break up with them..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Guys. Thats made feel alot better.
    We also talked about it and he didn't realise that he thought that I thought he wanted more :)
    Thanks again :D xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So are yous an item now?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah :)
    Been an item for just over a month now but i've known him for six years
    I am currently loving life right now :) xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you want to do it, then do it. If youre not sure, then wait a bit longer till you feel more ready
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say you've known him long enough, so when you want to take it that step further, it'll be OK.

    But I don't believe in saving yourself for someone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think of it as "wasting time"
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Being a modern man, I consider myself classless
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    geneve wrote: »
    I don't think of it as saving yourself 'for someone' but for yourself.

    what for?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont get it.

    Youre either ready or youre not. I dont get the point of waiting for any reason other than you want to wait.
    For a lot of people its not a big deal
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    geneve wrote: »
    For a lot of people it is. Sometimes you think you're ready but only afterwards you realise the implications of it and perhaps you weren't. In my mind it should be a huge deal.
    Mmmm no, I disagree.

    The only regret I have about my first time was the circumstances surrounding the relationship. I don't really regret doing it or even losing it to who I lost it to (though I kind of wish I HAD lost it to someone else a few months earlier but whatever, that couldn't happen). I just regret the hurt it caused. If you're ready, you know. Implications happen whether you have sex or not. The guy I lost it to? Would still have been cheating on his girlfriend with me whether we ended up having sex that night or not, because he was manipulative as hell.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had sex with my boyfriend just after two weeks, since getting together.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think it seems to be more of a big deal for people who are religious, although that isnt strictly true for everyone.
    At the end of the day, it depends what you believe. If you think that it should be something big, then wait. If you dont, just go for it.
    Simples :D
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