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Neice type situation...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Of no blood relative - I think I might have gone and done a shocker and fallen for my neice - she's my wife's brothers daughter - and 17 (I'm 32) - My relationship with my wife is totally shite right now, and the relationship I enjoy the most is with her - she's good fun. The thing is I reckon she feels the same way, but we cannot act on it - can we?
She's a Brazillian girl and totally stunning and cool - I'm not a sicko and know I should never ever do anything with her but what the F do i do?
She's a Brazillian girl and totally stunning and cool - I'm not a sicko and know I should never ever do anything with her but what the F do i do?
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You're in this girl's parents' peer group, abusing that authority would be sick.
I am trying on point 1 - it's not easy as I think she's not interested.
Yeah, as I said I'm not a sicko and would never abuse that authority as you put it. It's not easy though, she's got troubles and because of my relationship with her I am now used as a conduit for communication with her. I have to spend time with her, and want to for the better of the family unit. We all live together - the other thing is that I am not in the UK, there is a different set of rules here with regards to age differences - but that I guess is besides the point as I'll not act on this. I am taking her out tonight to speak about this family shite and I have to give her a hard time, that's the tricky part. I have to be a c**t to her and really find that hard. Man, it's a shocker.
:shocking:
I have a friend in the same position as your neice and am just waiting for it to blow up in her face, its not gonna be pretty
It's also possible she's manipulating you to make things easier for herself.
Probably the best way for you to resolve things is to separate from your wife - that gets you out of the tempting situation too.
I think you're right, about all apart from the bit about me being manipulated - I genuinly don't think she has the capacity to do so. I can't separate from my wife either man, we have a little girl and I will not do that to her - she's done nothing wrong. She deserves to have two parents, no my wife and i need to grow up. I think.
Thanks for your responses all.
You see I'm not about to do that either, I am not a sicko as I said above. But you're right, not this one. It is a mess though.
While having children gives you a very big reason to work to make your relationship work, it isn't a reason to stay together if you can't make it work - in fact the effect on the child is a very big reason for splitting up if you can't make it work
Youd be abusing her. Not because of the age difference, but because youre her uncle and she should be safe to be herself with you, not have you seeing it all as a sexual come on.
Actually, there is a slim possibility that it IS a sexual come on. Be careful. Are you sure this young woman isn't leading you on? My HALF-sister has a history of this type of behaviour with older married (or otherwise "attached") men. She does it for attention and when, on the odd occasion, the man actually makes a move, she'll run, leaving a trail of jealous women in her wake - including MY father's fiancée and my aunt! Classic cock-tease. Dangerous.
you may not have the most wonderful marriage just at the moment, but do you really want to devastate your wife and her trust in men, and her relationship with her brother and niece forever more?
Yeah, man I agree. But we've done nothing that could affect my daughter's development, in fact she's a thriving bi-lingual 4 year old.
Interesting. My half-sister's father was gay (in an age where it was still illegal). He committed suicide when she was 5 years old. She is a bulimic anorexic and recovering alcoholic ...
My parents divorved when I was 5 and I had to move over 300 miles away into a new life. It is the best thing that could have happened! Both parents remarried and I saw my dad regularly and spoke with him all the time on the phone. I would hate it if my parents had stayed together and lived miserable lives.
overthehill, I think committing suicide is a completly different issue, I think no matter what your age it would affect you to know that your parent has ended their own life. It is in a completely different league to your parents divorcing/seperating because the relationship isn't working.
And on the issue of your niece, although not related by blood she is still your niece and you shouldn't go there. The age gap, however, is less of an issue, but long term the relationship would never work.
My comment was also slightly off topic. Nothing to do with the OP's marital situation. I was merely commenting that the niece, who the OP says is a bit screwed up, appears to be exhibiting a similar behaviour pattern to my equally screwed up sister. Sorry for any confusion.
Sorry I didn't read the whole thread fully either TBH but now I see what you mean!
Man - that's some sad shit right there. Terrible stuff that. I know someone who is in the same position, a 23 YO - she found her step Dad hanging one day after school - reason unconfirmed, I suspect it was due to abusing the kids and he couldn't handle it - ugly world.
That's nice, I'm glad it worked out for you. I take your point that it does not by default mean that my daughter would be screwed up - but this cancer cloud has made us closer - which is cool. She went out with some friends last night and had a great time, so tired she can hardly move today - I spent the night watching films with the kids, and the neice - was quite cool actually.
They say about her here (neice not wife) the Portuguese equivalent of "away with the fairies" they say - her bat misses the ball or something like that, but I think she's just got some issues with concerntration and motivation. I am trying to council her, it's a tough age for girls right? 17-18.