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questions from a virgin, i need answers

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
hi, so im 15 and my bf of almost a yr now (on and off) is 16. were both virgins, but ive done a lot less than he has. he was my first kiss, and the furthest ive gone with him is making out and fondling, hes told me hes fingered a girl before. weve both openly talked about sex with eachother and so i know he is definately ready but isnt maling a single a mov, its all on my shoulders. i think im ready but making out to having sex is quite a leap. what should i do?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think, if you're ready to move forward to more sexual activity you should start with the other things first, that way you can both learn how to pleasure each other. Just having sex for the sake of having sex without any experience over your sexual response is likely to lead to you having unsatisfying sex.

    If you're ready, you also need to be ready to discuss things. Perhaps you could talk to him about trying some stimulation with fingers, and see how you get on with that?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you want it to happen (you are disappointed that he is not making a move), you can always instigate it yourself. Next time he sleeps over (or you at his place) you can just make out, start fondling and let one thing lead to the next in a natural manner, this is often how it starts. When you are more comfortable with each other and more experience you can also come out of the shower buttnaked stand in front of him with your legs apart and your hands crossed over your chest and shout "I DEMAND CUNNILINGUS, POST-HASTE", but for beginners just try the non-verbal way.

    The other option is to talk about it and kind of "plan" it. Many couples do, my first time was kinda semi-planned.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    If you want it to happen (you are disappointed that he is not making a move), you can always instigate it yourself. Next time he sleeps over (or you at his place) you can just make out, start fondling and let one thing lead to the next in a natural manner, this is often how it starts. When you are more comfortable with each other and more experience you can also come out of the shower buttnaked stand in front of him with your legs apart and your hands crossed over your chest and shout "I DEMAND CUNNILINGUS, POST-HASTE", but for beginners just try the non-verbal way.

    The other option is to talk about it and kind of "plan" it. Many couples do, my first time was kinda semi-planned.

    two things that dont really happen in new york:
    1)our parents letting us have co-ed sleep overs
    2)saying cunlingus or post haste

    but the advise is good. we've talked about it and hes been very oopen with outt pressuring me, but i havent because i dont want to make a big descision like this while i have a bunch of other things going on, then realize i wasn't ready too latee.

    thaank you all for the advise
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    geneve wrote: »
    Firstly I'd make sure you've discussed contraception. Generally I wouldn't trust condoms, because by the time one has broken it's a bit too late and it can be farily nerve wracking going to get the morning after pill. So my advise would be to go to the doctors and discuss your options. Personally though I would wait, 15 is too young in my mind but you only have to wonder of hindsight to know that. There's no rush.

    i do agree with that buut i dont want go on the pill unless i am goiong to be active because when my sister was on it it screwed up her hormones or menstration or somethin. 15, legally yeah is yyoung, but with kids about 13 getting pregnant, not here, but i dont think you can determinwe how ready you are by your age, i would wait untill this summer wwhen i turn 16 though, either that or 18, because im goiing to colledgee early and will be living on dorms.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    scarter14616 wrote: »
    i do agree with that buut i dont want go on the pill unless i am goiong to be active because when my sister was on it it screwed up her hormones or menstration or somethin. 15, legally yeah is yyoung, but with kids about 13 getting pregnant, not here, but i dont think you can determinwe how ready you are by your age, i would wait untill this summer wwhen i turn 16 though, either that or 18, because im goiing to colledgee early and will be living on dorms.

    There are many many many many many types of birth control, though; and while some people react poorly to one, others will get along with it just fine. If you do have a bad reaction, that doesn't mean you will react that way to all of them.

    There are so many options of birth control out there, hormonal and non if you really are against that. There are also several out there that can be used on the spot.

    If you are thinking about sex, along with the mechanics and how to approach the topic, you really should be thinking about birth control as well, even if it is just once and even if it is just a condom. It is never too early to start planning that part!

    http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control-4211.htm
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea good piont. the confusing part is, ive been through a lot so i am emottionally mature, but at the same time im goin through a lot and idk if me thinking i am ready is just a reaction to that. for contaception ill prolly ask my sister to take me to planned parenthood and hope she doent kill me, or worse tell my grama (who not legally but technically is my gaurdian and so old fashioned). ur right i shouldnt be comparing myself to anyone because they're not me. thanks
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in case you guys havent heard, loosing it or even thinkking about it is kin of at a stand still, but i would still like you to post advise
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    scarter14616 wrote: »
    ill prolly ask my sister to take me to planned parenthood and hope she doent kill me

    She should be at least be reassured that you're being mature about it and taking responsibility for yourself!

    It's good that you're talking about it with your boyfriend. Being open and honest with each other from the start is the first step to making a good choice. Are you ready? Who knows. I was sure I was, at 16, and in hindsight I'm not sure I was right.

    My advice would be to take things in stages. Base by base, if you like. And don't rush to third or fourth before you're comfortable with first and second!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well youd think so but they were all active at my age now, maybe younger, and they were all pretty safe, and some how all ended up pregnant( 3 sisters, one birth, one abortion, one surgery).
    thats really what im worried about is realizing i wasnt ready after i already went through with it and regretting it. i dont wwant to rregret it at all.
    but yea, i think i should worry aabout the bases right in front of me and not home base as much, youre right.
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