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A bit of a sex rut

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi guys, Could i have as many guys advice as i can please.
Iv been with my boyfriend for over 2years now and i adore him very much but recently things have gone very stale for us in the bedroom. We have sex probably once every 6weeks if we are lucky and im not sure why. We make time for ourselves, spend quality time with each other etc but no matter what, when we get into bed, within seconds all i hear is him snoring.
I didnt go snooping at all, but as i was looking through our computer (that we share by the way) (i dont want anyone getting ideas that i was snooping) i found loads of porn websites. Now i totally understand that porn is a typical guy thing and that there is nothing wrong with watching it, hell when im on my own i watch it (occasionally i might add), but my point is when i asked him about it the other day,his response was that we were complacent so he needs it, now i feel that he is using porn as a replacement for me and our sex life
Another thing that really bugs me aswell is that i make the effort to to look good while he walks around the house in scrubs and slippers. I wear makeup everyday and most of the time heels, so why is it that i can make the effort for him but he doesnt seem to do the same 4 me. I know guys are very visual and they love it when their gf's dress up but how can he expect me 2 get all worked up and get in the mood when he is dressed like a tramp alot of the time. Please i would love some feed back whether its good or bad.

Comments

  • Emma_REmma_R Deactivated Posts: 50 Boards Initiate
    hi there Robz

    I'm afraid I'm not a guy, but reading over your post made me think the porn thing is perhaps a problem for you both. Even though you aren't judgemental about his use of porn, it sounds like you are feeling a bit replaced by it, which can't be nice. Have you spoken to him about it any more than that brief conversation? It's important he knows how you're feeling - it's hardly going to help your sex life if you feel like he's more interested in someone with silicon double-F boobs than you!

    A lull in the bedroom doesn't necessarily mean any major disaster is looming, but if left undealt with it can result in both partners feeling resentful/unsexy/miserable etc. Not fun! It's hard getting blokes to express what's going on in those funny little brains of theirs :banghead: but hopefully will be worth the effort. With any luck he'll acknowledge the situation is starting to cause you upset and discuss some ways of dealing with it.

    Good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    grt

    I dont mean to sound harsh but I had a VERY similar problem. Made me feel totally worthless and in the end he dumped me and I belive we are both much happier for it too. Sorry to sound harsh but you need to find somone whos CRAZY about yer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Take the initiative with some sexy lingerie and give him a reason to never need to look at porn again---you can do it :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do it yourself!

    If you feel that he's going to bed and falling asleep, don't wait till you get into bed at night!
    Do it in the afternoon, on the sofa, or the table!! Or even the floor.
    Take it upon yourself. He'll be so turned on then he'll want to do it far more often :)
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