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Anger
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Okay, guys, I wasn't going to post this but I do really feel the need to. I don't want it to start arguments or anything, so please read it twice before you judge.
Well today I woke up in a shit mood, really really angry. I don't know why, I just was. I tried to calm myself down, but just couldn't. So, and I know it's stupid, I cut myself quite badly. Only because I know it calms me down, and it was either that or punching a wall. When I got to school I did try and aviod everyone, and thankfully didn't have any lessons till 12 o'clock. Then at lunch, at 1:30, my friend came up to me crying her eyes out because I girl had called her a "lesbo" and told her to "shag her sister." Now, my friend has had problems with this girl before. In fact, no body really likes her. So I went up to this girl and, without raising my voice or shouting ect, told her that everyone had had enough of her behaviour and that she should learn some manners, and I also told her not to use the term "gay" or "lesbian" as a term of abuse. She then called me a les, and said I couldn't tell her what to do. I told her to "fucking grow up" and she told me to stop ganging up on her, then I pointed out you couldn't have a gang of one. She then got all pissed, and tried to push me, so I held her back by her shoulders. Then it turned into a full screaming match, and a few year 11's got involved (on the side of my friend and I.)
Anyway, so then a teacher came along and said she wanted to speak to us. I ran off and went to speak to my learning mentor, who is a bit like a counsellor. I told her what happened, and she told me that she also didn't like the girl and that sooner or later someone would have had a go at her. She told me I should go and speak to the teacher, and be honest with them. And I did. The teacher said that she was going to speak to the head of my community (the school is split into four) and then let them deal with the rest.
Then after school Shaun, a boy I used to date whose in year 11, was being a dick. He punched a wall, and broke all his knuckles in one hand, and then ran up to me going "look, how cool is this?" I told him to f-off, and said he was a freak. And, anyway, I just don't feel able to control my anger anymore. There were more little things during the day were I'd shouted at people, and swore at teachers ect. I seriously don't know what was happening, I tried to go calm down but honestly couldn't. I wouldn't normally of gone up to that girl because it just isn't worth it anymore, I have tried to change over these past few months but my anger is just out at the moment. I really don't know what to do, because the only thing that calms me down in self harming but it's just getting worse and worse.
If anyone has any advice it would be very helpful. Please.
Broken-Angel x
Well today I woke up in a shit mood, really really angry. I don't know why, I just was. I tried to calm myself down, but just couldn't. So, and I know it's stupid, I cut myself quite badly. Only because I know it calms me down, and it was either that or punching a wall. When I got to school I did try and aviod everyone, and thankfully didn't have any lessons till 12 o'clock. Then at lunch, at 1:30, my friend came up to me crying her eyes out because I girl had called her a "lesbo" and told her to "shag her sister." Now, my friend has had problems with this girl before. In fact, no body really likes her. So I went up to this girl and, without raising my voice or shouting ect, told her that everyone had had enough of her behaviour and that she should learn some manners, and I also told her not to use the term "gay" or "lesbian" as a term of abuse. She then called me a les, and said I couldn't tell her what to do. I told her to "fucking grow up" and she told me to stop ganging up on her, then I pointed out you couldn't have a gang of one. She then got all pissed, and tried to push me, so I held her back by her shoulders. Then it turned into a full screaming match, and a few year 11's got involved (on the side of my friend and I.)
Anyway, so then a teacher came along and said she wanted to speak to us. I ran off and went to speak to my learning mentor, who is a bit like a counsellor. I told her what happened, and she told me that she also didn't like the girl and that sooner or later someone would have had a go at her. She told me I should go and speak to the teacher, and be honest with them. And I did. The teacher said that she was going to speak to the head of my community (the school is split into four) and then let them deal with the rest.
Then after school Shaun, a boy I used to date whose in year 11, was being a dick. He punched a wall, and broke all his knuckles in one hand, and then ran up to me going "look, how cool is this?" I told him to f-off, and said he was a freak. And, anyway, I just don't feel able to control my anger anymore. There were more little things during the day were I'd shouted at people, and swore at teachers ect. I seriously don't know what was happening, I tried to go calm down but honestly couldn't. I wouldn't normally of gone up to that girl because it just isn't worth it anymore, I have tried to change over these past few months but my anger is just out at the moment. I really don't know what to do, because the only thing that calms me down in self harming but it's just getting worse and worse.
If anyone has any advice it would be very helpful. Please.
Broken-Angel x
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Comments
And calling your ex a freak?! Even if he is a wanker, thats just unnecessary and what did it solve? Nothing. Just caused a bigger rift between the two of you, and probably going to end up the two of you constantly point scoring against each other, just increasing your anger.
I'm sorry, I dont have any advice on how to deal with it, or calm yourself down. Next time you feel like yelling at someone, walk away, sit yourself down somewhere quiet and just breath slowly and calmly. I'm sorry thats the best advice I can offer
Me and Shaun are alright, he just annoys me and I annoy him.
Anyway, yeah, I'm just sick of acting tough. I can't help it, it just kind of happens. I don't get it though, I am such a paranoid person and have to turn on all the lights ect. at home and check all the rooms... but then I get into fights and stuff. I am just in a bad mood, think I'm going to get myself a stressball.
Xx
Its hard, the only way i have been able to deal with it is by as soon as i recognise i am getting really worked up is to walk away, and leave the situation completely until i feel i can deal with it properly. Sometimes it does get on top of you and unfortunetly you take it out on someone - like with shaun.
So yeah, just try and leave the situation before it esculates, and if you can't then say as little as you can. From experiance saying what comes into your head with out thinking gets you in so much more trouble. eg. getting kicked out of school. Think about what your going to say before you say it, which i know is really hard when you are worked up and it takes time to try and do it but it's better than getting in more trouble.
As for calming down after, if you are like me not a lot works. People talking to me or me talking it over does very little and usually gets me more worked up, so i tend to need my own space.
Have you tried walking it off? Thats helped me quite a bit.
It's tough it deal with it, and harder to find solutions but you will, just takes time.
Naun, do you find keeping a journal and stuff like that helps or do you think it's best to just try and forget the whole situation?
Xx
If you are in a really bad mood do you look for trouble? I occationally do that just so i can get shouted at (no idea way though) which i don't recomend lol
I used to write stuff down, but then my mum read everything and I haven't for about a year. Dunno, might try it again. Anything to stop me getting mad at people so much!
Xx
If you think wrting down will help. Give it a go.
I know what you mean, I get in a confrontational mood sometimes because something has set me off, and my tolerance for other people's crap diminishes to zero. But after being short with people I normally mellow out. I find its just a part of life though, and nothing a beer and a film doesn't solve in quick time.
I think you were brave sticking up for your friend. School is a strange environment and it's hard to look back now, but as someone who was bullied I know it's so shit. So being there and sticking up for her I think was really brave of you.
I think the only thing you can do is chalk it up as a long and busy day, try and relax with some tv / talk to friends / whatever you do to relax and start tomorrow afresh
try something like an online blog, maybe? I keep one and prefer it to paper- after all no one will be able to read it with out your username and password
Xx
that's alright! hope it helps a little bit, if you're unsure about finding a blog site, I find livejournal a good one- it even has privacy settings so for each post you controls who sees it ie just you, friends or everyone. x