Home Health & Wellbeing
At The Mix, we want to make our services as helpful as we can. To do this, we’d love to ask you a few questions about you, your visit to The Mix and its impact. It should take only about 5-10 minutes to complete. Take this survey and get a chance at winning a £200 Amazon voucher​.
Come and join our Support Circle, every Tuesday, 8 - 9:30pm! Sign up here

I feel like a failure

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all,

I need some honest input here, I'm an 18 year old guy by the way.

I have reasonably good GCSE's, 2 A's 6B's and 2C's. 10 in total. However, I very much failed my A-Levels, partly due to disillusionment and the rest due to circumstances at home and otherwise general lazyness. Suffice to say I never reached my potential in acedemia, as I was on track for ABB at AS Level but only achieved a C and an E at A-Level.

I never really wanted to go to university, and I actually find it a bit of a waste of time for me in my intended career path (Police or Royal Fleet Auxillary) because education in such fields is earned internally yet to degree level- and to be honest degrees are a dime a dozen these days - but even missed my own personal goal of atleast 180 UCAS points. That's a common benchmark used by many employers (including my chosen career path) for either "fast track" or higher level entry. With the competitive nature of the job market of today, especially in the backdrop of a major recession - I surely can't compete.

I can't resit, nor would I feel the motivation to right now - but I can't help feel like a failure. I feel really low now, and my own self image is me on the dole, or in an unfoufiling job - indefinately.

Any advice?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dont feel low, its probably happened to a lot of people. You can always resit your A-levels at a college and really try this time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya

    From reading what you've written I think that, for now anyway, you really need to focus on the reasons and causes behind your lack of motivation and you feeling so low.

    Do you think there is a medical reason why you feel so down? I can't remember what else is going on in your life right now from your other posts but if there is a problem there, now is the time to get it sorted with a trip to a doctor.

    Also - have you thought about volunteering? By doing something worthwhile, it might make you start to feel better about yourself... and you can build up your CV in the process. As well as dragging you out of the house occasionally if you ever feel like you just can't face the world... There are loads of opportunities out there, check out www.do-it.org.

    Basically... I think that now is the time to focus on you and your feelings. If you want to go down the resit route, take some time out to get yourself sorted and prepared for them, and just keep it in your mind that you're doing what you're doing to get where you want to be....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya

    From reading what you've written I think that, for now anyway, you really need to focus on the reasons and causes behind your lack of motivation and you feeling so low.

    Do you think there is a medical reason why you feel so down? I can't remember what else is going on in your life right now from your other posts but if there is a problem there, now is the time to get it sorted with a trip to a doctor.

    Also - have you thought about volunteering? By doing something worthwhile, it might make you start to feel better about yourself... and you can build up your CV in the process. As well as dragging you out of the house occasionally if you ever feel like you just can't face the world... There are loads of opportunities out there, check out www.do-it.org.

    Basically... I think that now is the time to focus on you and your feelings. If you want to go down the resit route, take some time out to get yourself sorted and prepared for them, and just keep it in your mind that you're doing what you're doing to get where you want to be....

    I'm a long time volunteer for a while, I've volunteered for causes such as Scouting and even Police Cadets since the age of 14 in an adult role ( for the former, 16 for the latter). I recently quit scouting due to internal politics I considered plain bullshit, very "big fish - small pond" for a few of 'em in it. Though I was a scout since age 10. Police cadets is only age 16 to 18, but a lot of public duty, so I finished the stretch. I've also raised a very large sum of money for charity over the years.

    I do have a job I recently managed to get (the same day I filled in the application) at wetherspoons, but thats certainly not a long term stay I'm hoping. As I said, I either want a career at sea or in a policing role, but in my oppinion, that's a long shot with the qualifications I have?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its a shame you had to quit scouting because of internal politics - i hate how many organisations lose volunteers because of this. If it was something you enjoyed, maybe you could look at similar opportunities at other organisations.

    I think that if a career at sea or with the police is something you really want to do, I think you should go for it. That doesn't mean that it will happen immediately, but perhaps by taking small steps towards reaching this aim, not only will it become more achievable but you'll feel better about yourself in the process.

    I'm not sure about your qualifications, but maybe the first step would be to get in contact with lots of companies / people in those fields and just ask them. I know for example with the Navy (not so sure on the RFA) people can join with virtually no qualifications and then take exams whilst serving... And as for the RFA, you can join 16+ so I would have thought that your alevel grades would not be a barrier to you joining in the first place... But I'm no expert... so best to get in contact with the people that are.

    All the best.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dont need fantastic quals for the army either, yours could open up a few jobs for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't help feel like a failure. I feel really low now, and my own self image is me on the dole, or in an unfoufiling job - indefinately.

    Any advice?

    Yeah. don't worry about it too much.

    I left school with four "O" Levels (pre-runner to GCSE), I have no A-Levels, never went to University and I started as the filing boy in an Insurance Company.

    I'm now a senior Manager in the Health Service, a job I never thought I'd do, and I earn over £50k per year. Plus I'm studying for a Masters Degree.

    Point I am trying to make is that exam grades are not the be all and end all of life. They are a marker at a particular time in your life. Sure I started in a gut wrenching mundane job that bored me witless. I was there a year before I was promoted and I had a couple of other jobs before finding my niche in the NHS. It's hard work and aptitude which has got me where I am now - I've learned my trade, learned about my trade.

    That sort of thing gets more recognition from employers than what I did when I was 16-21.

    If you are keen on the forces then go to the recuriting office and see what's available, otherwise look for something which you can start with and put the effort it - if you do that then you won't be in the mundane job for long...
  • Emma_REmma_R ********* Posts: 50
    hello there ...

    I get the impression you might have been feeling down on yourself anyway, but all the constant talk about the recession seems to be making you feel worse - as though there's no hope when it comes to doing what you actually want to do. Many people are currently facing the same problem but please don't let it stop you from taking the steps to get yourself the qualifications you want. One option might be to do an access course to get onto a degree http://www.accesstohe.ac.uk/

    or have you thought about a career in the merchant navy - they train you on the job and you just need GCSEs to go in at officer level. http://www.careersatsea.org/qualifications/hnd.php

    It's hard to find the motivation when the media is so full of doom and gloom, but recessions are cyclical and come to an end. You'll probably be pulling your last pint at Wetherspoons sooner than you think!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    heya,
    is it possible for you to do a vocational course - access to higher education and then you can go on to get a job that may have degree opportunities.
    i hope this is helpful and if not - sorry
    :)
    keep us posted on how ur doing..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey all,

    Thanks for the replies. I started work at Wetherspoons; it went great and I got on with all my co-workers etc and I did actually end up enjoying it.

    As I said, my main goal is to join either the Police or the RFA - or perhaps both in different decades. I'm starting to see this as valuable experience, in either case - working behind an extremely busy bar to all hours requires some pretty weathered skills you wouldn't consider (Communication, Teamwork, Perseverence etc) - It's really a whole lot more than pulling a pint, (atleast in a chain like JDW in the middle of a city centre) so it's all good expereience for a CV. A stepping stone if you like. To be honest some of the punters you get in there are a test in themselves.

    I may consider persueing extra A-Levels when I get stable, perhaps when I join the RFA which is 8 months on, 4 months (paid) off giving me plenty of time and a very stable platform to work from.

    Cheers for the advice, I really do appreciate it - and heres to 2010.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey all,

    Thanks for the replies. I started work at Wetherspoons; it went great and I got on with all my co-workers etc and I did actually end up enjoying it.

    As I said, my main goal is to join either the Police or the RFA - or perhaps both in different decades. I'm starting to see this as valuable experience, in either case - working behind an extremely busy bar to all hours requires some pretty weathered skills you wouldn't consider (Communication, Teamwork, Perseverence etc) - It's really a whole lot more than pulling a pint, (atleast in a chain like JDW in the middle of a city centre) so it's all good expereience for a CV. A stepping stone if you like. To be honest some of the punters you get in there are a test in themselves.

    I may consider persueing extra A-Levels when I get stable, perhaps when I join the RFA which is 8 months on, 4 months (paid) off giving me plenty of time and a very stable platform to work from.

    Cheers for the advice, I really do appreciate it - and heres to 2010.

    :)
Sign In or Register to comment.