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unhappy and lonely.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey guys,

Haven’t posted on here for a while, struggling with the internet connection! But anyways, I feeling shit again. I’ve come home from uni for Christmas, and have spent the last week pretty much alone. I have no friends in my home town, and my old school friends are spread around in various villages and towns. Even at uni I feel alone. Being alone has never bothered me greatly, I like my own company and am used to it being like this. But I guess at school, it was different; you have a routine, with set work; over the past few years, spending this much time alone and being at uni has been bugging me. I spend it alone in my room with no escape really or if I do go out I go for a walk, along the same old route . It feels like I am cooped up in a monotonous life. And that is the part that hurts. I just want to be free; travel.

I want someone to listen and understand, because it’s driving me mad. I think I have been snapping at my family, which isn’t what you want over the festive season really. I have thought about self harming again, which is something I haven’t done for about six months. And I graduate from uni in June if I can find motivation to do the work that is. All I want to do is go as far away as possible, be happy. I don’t even know why. I think the future is scaring me maybe.


ps I am aware it is similar to ShyBoys "Lonely over xmas" post but I needed to get it out of my head, write it down so thought I may aswell post it.


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Greenday.

    I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. When are you going back to University? I can really empathise with you not feeling motivated at all to do your course, I too graduate in the coming summer. Have you joined any clubs at University? That can be a good way to get out of the 'same old routine' problem.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree, clubs, sports teams, gym, student media, volunteering are all really good ways of meeting people and finding people with similar interests. Much easier than meeting people at pubs etc. And they usually have a good social aspect too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks guys, yeah, I did join a society last year, and had an amazing time with loads of new experiences, but this year I feel I get on less well with comittee members, as a lot of them joined already knowing each other and also my course has been a lot more demanding, so I've had little time to participate :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It can be difficult in the final year because there is a lot of work to do, and you have no set routine like a job where you have a boss waiting for you to arrive at 9 and watching you work until leave at 5.. its all up to you. And in this mess you have to try to meet people and socialise and everything and it can be very overwhelming.

    One practicla tip I can offer that helps me is that I use google calendar to plan almost everything in advance. In term time it is full almost all the time, like it will say when all my lectures are, if I'm going to lunch with someone, if I'm doing some specific seminar work, or whatever. Just like a diary really, except google calendar is nice in that you can chop/change quite easily.

    I find writing it all down helps. Then in your spare time, when you have nothing to do and find yourself fed up, just try finding something that is on... even if it's not something you would normally do. Last term I went to a concert just because... and had a really nice time! Your student union is obviously the first place to go to find things to do, if you don't get on with one group of people you can always move onto another society or club or whatever.

    Hope this helps...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmmm... i like the thought of going to a random concert, i almost went to a carol service but for some reason didn't. kind of wish i'd gone now.
    and maybe i'll go get googlemail for the calendar or something similar, i have a paper diary thing, and it's always got stuff that needs doing scribbled in.

    and will be away until tomorrow evening, visiting family so can't reply :(
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