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Cant make sense of friendships.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey all,
I am an 18 year old guy, and I have never really been able to relate to the "social scene".
I'm a very "nice", non-confrontational type of person - I expect to get on with most anyone yet rarely make a simple connection with few. People my age treat me with suspicion, like I'm somebody different despite me being open, polite and generally sociable person. There is nothing contrived about my approach to people, quite the opposite really.
I can't fully relate to peers, yet to those slightly older I'm the salt of the earth - but naturally I can't have the same "type" of friendship with them.
I am a bit quiet, and an introvert - but not to the point that I'd say I'd turn people away. Are people so insecure nowadays?
I just feel really alone, I do enjoy other peoples company - and I'm hardly boring - bit off the rails if anything, but "deep" enough to want a meaningful and real friendship with someone. I don't want to be popular, not at all - just have a group of friends I can rely on and have a laugh with.
Why am I so unlikeable? What can I change?
I am an 18 year old guy, and I have never really been able to relate to the "social scene".
I'm a very "nice", non-confrontational type of person - I expect to get on with most anyone yet rarely make a simple connection with few. People my age treat me with suspicion, like I'm somebody different despite me being open, polite and generally sociable person. There is nothing contrived about my approach to people, quite the opposite really.
I can't fully relate to peers, yet to those slightly older I'm the salt of the earth - but naturally I can't have the same "type" of friendship with them.
I am a bit quiet, and an introvert - but not to the point that I'd say I'd turn people away. Are people so insecure nowadays?
I just feel really alone, I do enjoy other peoples company - and I'm hardly boring - bit off the rails if anything, but "deep" enough to want a meaningful and real friendship with someone. I don't want to be popular, not at all - just have a group of friends I can rely on and have a laugh with.
Why am I so unlikeable? What can I change?
0
Comments
Hi Stephen.
I think you're trying too hard by being non-confrontational and "nice" which people may interpret as false and untrustworthy.
Instead of worrying yourself over whether you should be nice, be yourself and loosen up a bit when interacting with people.
I'm sorry if this advice seems a bit like :banghead: but the more desperete your are for approval and friendship the more risk you run of attracting "friends" that'll use you.
Really sorry that you're still finding it so difficult to relate to people and that none of the advice in this or your previous similar threads has been any help.
Is there anyone out there you know you can talk to honestly about this? I hear that its a really big concern to you, so although its probably helpful advice to relax and worry less about impressing people, it might feel impossible to do this! Sometimes people who are comfortable in their own skin exhibit a kind of confidence that attracts genuine friendships - have you thought about working on your relationship with yourself before the one you have with friends? Perhaps seeing a counsellor would be helpful? If you think this is a terrible idea feel free to say so!
Let me know how you get on, and take care :wave: