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He only cums doggystyle

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey all! I am a 28 year old female, I am in great shape, take good care of myself. I feel that I am a very attractive gal, I have always had a strong sex drive, and enjoy sex very much. Have never had a problem myself cumming or making a male partner cum.

That's the problem now. My current boyfriend, 26 yo, cannot cum in any position except doggystyle, or his own hand. When he turns me around he does not touch me, does not look at me, he just pounds away, not even paying any mind to me. I stare at the wall and hope to God that he will finish soon. He has told me many times that this is the only way that he can cum, the only way that he has ever been able to cum. Tonight I confronted him for like the 5th time about it, and know he says that he can cum in other postions but it takes forever. He wants to get married and have kids (we have only been together 4mos, and its been long distance) I have told him that I am not ready to make that kind of commitment due to the sexual problem that we are dealing with, and the distance thing. He wants me to leave me job for him (he is in between jobs). I have told him no. I am preety much ready to break up and move on. Any advice?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If the sexual aspect of him only cumming in this and that position and there is no romantic in it, I would give him an ultimatum. You can very often work on and change what you like in bed, so you both can have your fun. Tell him you are not ready for marriage and give up so many things that are valuable to you, and especially not if you won't click on a sexual level. Work on it and if he is really bullheaded, think about leaving.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    break up with him
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd break up with him, he wants you to quit your job?! and move away after just 4 months? That's madness.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sounds like he might have some issues. Asking you to give up your life after 4 months is just wrong.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hang on, you can't just tell a man he has to come in another position like that! He might have underlying issues and if you're giving him hassle like that then perhaps it's understandable that he isn't telling you about them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hang on, you can't just tell a man he has to come in another position like that! He might have underlying issues and if you're giving him hassle like that then perhaps it's understandable that he isn't telling you about them.

    It doesn't sound like giving hassle, it sounds like a perfectly reasonable argument to have. He's admitted that he can come in other positions. The fact that "it takes ages" it just something he'd need to work on. Lots of foreplay for example.

    But that seems secondary compare to demands to quit a job and get married after 4 months of long distance relationship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like me - here's my advice

    I'm in my 40s with triple-digit partners so i'm probably more experienced than the younger guys.

    I've gone from a fast reloader in my teens (8 times in one night) to getting slower and slower in my 20s. For the past 10 years I can go for 90 minutes and still have a hard time getting to the happy ending. Typically I have to go doggy style and pound away really fast. Massive orgasm once it comes though. :-)

    Extra slow when using condoms - regardless of brand.

    Bareback is way quicker - that takes me down to a mere 30 minutes.

    Here's my advice:
    * bareback is best - any position works
    * doggystyle is foolproof - especially with good speed
    * lying on my back with the girl's feet by my hips, me supporting/lifting her, and rapid action is another good way
    * avoid missionary, with a condom, that's a dead end for me, I'll never come
    * try a cockring - it both enlargens and makes the penis more sensitive - very useful when forced to use condom

    * coming when receiving oral can be difficult - I had two professional girls this past weekend working me over for over an hour - it was extremely pleasant, but no results. I had to resort to the old doggy position, worked like a charm.

    As an idea, get a mirror, put it on the wall, then you can hold eye contact and you can see his pleasure too.

    Depending on your/his level of kinkiness, try biting his nipples - personally, I love that - it makes me rock hard and works wonders when condoms isolate me from the experience. No pain, no gain! It is amazing how the pain boosts the intensity of the climax. I don't ask for it all the time - my nipples get too sore, but it's worth a try. How do you girls feel about this issue? Both the giving and the getting?

    Make sure he knows to cuddle afterwards - it took me a while to get to appreciate this, but now I definitely want that afterwards.

    Good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sounds like he's got issues; sexual AND personal. He wants you to quit your job for him after 4 months?! Nutter. :no: Dump him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry, it's not just the sex but the personal suff as well. Dump him. he's just gonna get more complicated. And it sounds like he's being selfish and not listening to you as well. break up now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he's "between jobs" why doesn't he move?

    Hmmm... but then I wouldn't want a guy like that living in my house.

    No, dump him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Move on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hold on, there are obviously two problems here.

    The first is that this guy is obviously either really smitten with you and wants to further a relationship with you. Either that or he is a bit crazy and is a bit of a clinger -the fact that he's between jobs and is asking YOU to move suggests that he feels safer staying in his own town/country/whatever - either way, you have to ask if things are going well enough in other respects to warrant taking things further. You also have to make it clear that you don't feel comfortable moving on so quickly.

    The second is that you say it's a LDR. How can you expect him to become comfortable enough with you to cum in any position? When I first started sleeping with my gf I found it impossible to come and it was because it took me a long time to feel comfortable enough with her to 'let go' shall we say. Perhaps if you both saw each other for longer/more often things will improve.

    Good luck, anyway.
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