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ive been alone for too long :)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I just want to cry i need that that specal someone in my life i havent had a boyfriend in soo long. I don't know whats so wrong with me i'm kind, caring and have a good heart. But no one wants me :crying: I'm alone i must be so ugle i don't want to feel like this anymore :crying:.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey custard

    I know how you feel in a lot of ways, and it's not easy. But I think it's really important for people to gain a strong sense of self worth so that they are happy outside of a relationship, before going into one. Really you want to be going around not 'needing' a relationship to feel happy, but getting into one because it complements your life and is really positive.

    That's not to pretend that being single is better than being in a relationship - although there are obviously perks - everyone misses just the little things like cuddles.

    But you say in your post that you 'must be ugly' because nobody wants to go out with you, but I sincerely, sincerely doubt that. There are so many guys in a similar position to you but say that they can't find a girl who is interested in them or responds at all to their interest, so kind of on the other side of the coin.

    My personal belief, is relationships aren't something that can be forced. Step one is to believe and love yourself, because without that it's always going to be a struggle to find a perfect pairing. Step two, is to get out there and meet people - go out at least twice a month to something where you can meet new people (more is better!) - widen your social circle by meeting friends of friends, feel comfortable talking to strangers or at least people you haven't met before. Step three, the tricky one, is wait. Eventually you'll meet someone you click with, they'll ask you out or you'll ask them out.. and things go from there.

    Unfortunately there is no magic recipe for getting into a relationship, but honestly it is so much less to do with appearance and so much more to do with self esteem.

    I hope things pick up for you soon :) x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Come to Austria and let's hook up.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I always always feel like this when I'm not in a relationship, or aren't having any attention from guys. Its been a month now and I'm already starting to feel like a lonely old spinster!

    I agree with everything Shyboy says, the most important thing is to be happy with yourself, being in a relationship inst necessarilly going to make everything better. Just think of all the things you dont have to worry about; making yourself up for him, making time and effort to see him, all the worries and paranoia that come with having a bf (if you're anything like me)

    Next time you feel really down about this do what I do, have a get together with your friends, doesnt have to be anything big, have a giggle and a laugh and forget all about it, works for me
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can relate to you. Its the small stuff that I miss, like cuddles and holding hands. The sex and kisses are the icing on the cake. I havent had any for over a year and it feels terrible. You'll always have the inkling that theirs something wrong however its not you. Its the people that reject. Their the ones missing out.

    Trust me, Lexi is right when she says about having a giggle with friends. A good night out with friends is fantastic, you can let yourself go and have a laugh. And you never know, you may find the one then, when you least expect it :)

    hope it helps x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Custard, if this is of any consellation to you, then try and beat my gap of 1996-2009 and counting.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I totally agree with what Shy, Lexi and Tommy have said. I sometimes feel like this too (i've been single a year now) but I then think about it and realise i'm lucky to have good friends who i adore, and they are better than a man any day :p I'm just gonna wait and see if anything happens along the way of life :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh and strubbles, you lonely too?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aww thank you everyone so much all you're advice helps alot. I'll just wait for the right man to come along :):) thanks again :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah i know how you feel, most of my friends are in strong happy relationships n seems like no one is interested in me, im just waiting for someone to come along tbh. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Would just like to a rant here:

    My housemates boyfriend has just turned up with flowers and theyre being all romantic and lovey dovey :( :yeees: :grump: Ugh
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Would just like to a rant here:

    My housemates boyfriend has just turned up with flowers and theyre being all romantic and lovey dovey :( :yeees: :grump: Ugh

    Oh dear
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My last relationship ended in September so it's hardly been long for me. I do miss the intimacy, but then that's probably because I miss the girl I broke up with.

    I don't have time for a proper relationship though. Work is my life. As pathetic as that sounds, I work almost constantly and I'm too wrapped up in reaching my goals to get blindsided by having somebody there to have to think about.

    Either way, the best advice has already been said. You need to find some value in your life that adds up to happiness whether you're in a relationship or not. A little hanky panky holdy handy ain't gonna make a damn bit of difference if you're unhappy on the inside.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you for the comments they mean alot :):):)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Would just like to a rant here:

    My housemates boyfriend has just turned up with flowers and theyre being all romantic and lovey dovey :( :yeees: :grump: Ugh

    man I would take everyday flowers and sweets with me to my girlfriend, not especially for her but just to spite her roommates.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well you can still be lonely in a LDR- as long as you don't mention lovey-dovey romantic stuff, you can stay in the thread :p
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