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abortion....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok. not too sure where to put this.... I'm 7 weeks and 4days pregnant, I Had a scan today. Me and the father have split up- I can't stand him. He doesn't want anything to do with me and the feelings mutual. Im 17 years old at college doing a teaching course....
I have an appointment on thursday for the tablet abortion....
I could have the baby, no problems.... but, i feel i am too young. I want to live a little, see the world, get a career etc. When i imagined having kids it wasnt with some bastard i hated, being a single mum.... it was with a man i loved, and had settled with.
Im nervous about the abortion... what if i hate myself after it? and cant stand the fact ive killed a life?? and what if it haunts me forever? anyone got any experience on this??

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't say I've ever experienced this first hand, but I've definitely had scares where I had to consider this type of thing in the worst case scenario.

    If you are really worried about an abortion, maybe consider adoption. I am adopted, and am really grateful for it. My birth mother, although I never met her, picked out great parents who love and me as if I were there blood too. I'm grateful that I'm here with a loving family, rather than that chance being completely thrown away. Furthermore, you can choose the parents to make sure the child will live in a good environment.

    But that's just my own experience of being adopted. Right now, I'm not sure what I would even do. I'm not saying abortion is right or wrong, I can definitely understand where you are coming from. But again, if you're worried about it, someone who can't conceive might be really grateful for that kind opportunity. On the other hand, you've got to think of the time that will go into the pregnancy itself, it'll probably put you behind in college and raise your expenses up a bit.

    Sorry, it seems like I'm blabbing, I hope you get things sorted out no matter what you do!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    first of all, big hugs!
    Its not an easy decision to make, but i think youre quite right. Its not an ideal time of your life for a baby.
    I had an abortion at 17, which i dont regret. I wont lie and say ive never thought "what if" but thats really as far as its got.
    Im glad i waited till i was older and more settled till I had my children.
    If youre sure that now is not the time, then i dont think youll have any regrets.
    Its usually when people are pushed into abortion against their will that they have a hard time of it afterwards. Youll be fine
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi x</3x :wave:

    Sounds like you've got a lot to deal with right now, none of it very easy for you. Is there anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling, someone objective to talk through your options with and get another perspective?

    There are some great articles on here to read through too - maybe try the section on finding out you're pregnant, deciding whether or not to have a baby, and also some more information about having a termination.

    Remember this is about what is best for you and only you can make the decision about what to do. There is support, advice and guidance whatever you decide. Good luck and keep posting :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    heya

    well in my opinion im finding it hard to conceive now which is getting sorted
    but i might think if you are worried now about the abortion and about your feelings towards it you might be likely to worry afterwards but who am i to say..
    i just hope you really consider it before going ahead

    take care and let us know what your decision was but i doubt any one will judge you if you had it

    good luck ...

    x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    that makes me feel awful knowing your having trouble conceiving....
    i feel it's for the best i have the abortion....
    i feel very pressurised into keeping it, and i mean really pressurised....
    i just know now isnt the right time, but when the right time does come, i will have children, and do the right thing by them but right now i need to do the right thing by me....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In my opinion if i fell pregnant now (same age as you) i would have an abortion. I jsut think that i wouldnt be able to give the life and happiness to my child like i would in 20 years, in a stable relationship. I wouldnt want to bring my child up on a council estate, barely scraping by. I want to live my life first, get a good education, find the right man, settle down.

    I hope everything works out for the best for you
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    x</3x wrote: »
    i need to do the right thing by me....

    :yes:

    It's great that you are looking at all angles and listening to different points of view. Hopefully some of the articles have helped too. But ultimately, it has to be your decision, and as you have said, what is the right thing for you and your life.

    If you feel that talking to someone confidentially may help, you could try talking to Childline 0800 1111 or Brook 0808 802 1234?

    Take care and keep posting - :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    x</3x wrote: »
    i feel it's for the best i have the abortion....
    i feel very pressurised into keeping it, and i mean really pressurised....

    I think it's really important that you make your own decision, and don't be pushed into anything you don't want by ANYONE. It's your body, it's your baby, and it's your life, and no one else has the right to tell you what you should or shouldn't do with any of them.

    If you truly do what you feel is the right thing for you, it'll be a decision you can live with, even if it's hard sometimes. If you don't, it may not be.

    Hope everything works out for you, either way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you so much, appointments tomorrow.... i can see a huge fallout with my mum in the making.... ill just be glad when its all over and things go bk to normal!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    x</3x wrote: »
    thank you so much, appointments tomorrow.... i can see a huge fallout with my mum in the making.... ill just be glad when its all over and things go bk to normal!!

    I think your doing the right thing , you seem to be doing whats righ tfor you and you only have yourself to think about.
    It is one of the hardest things i had to do, my husband made me choose between him or the baby. I already have to lovely girls and would have loved that baby, but i went ahead withthe abortion because my two children already might have lost a dad. he had his reason to tell me not to have it, suffereing with an e.d on and off for 17 years and only just getting on our feet money wise.
    I suffered after but time heals and we are all still together,
    You seem to have a level sensible head so be happy your doing the right thing for you :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you all so much, youve been a great help :)
    i had the op on friday, all went well and i feel fine as i know i did it for the right reasons :) x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi x</3x

    Thanks for posting to let us know how you got on on Friday. Seems like the operation went well. We're really pleased that you felt empowered to do what was the right thing for you.

    Take care of yourself and keep posting - :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    glad it went ok.
    Be prepared for a hormone crash which might leave you feeling a bit shit for a while though
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How many weeks was you gone ? just i had to have the medical abortion , i.e the abortion pill and wouldnt wish that on anyone. Glad things are working out for you !! x
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