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All alone

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I have always struggled to deal with rejection. I don't mind being single and if someone doesnt like you then they dont like you. Unfortunately i always get reljected, i'm always just a friend to all guys. I hate this becausse i just feel as if nobody wants me. I got seriously rejected a few months ago and that triggered my depression and i have panic attacks alot now and am very paranoid about everything all because i feel so alone and dont think i can take anymore rejection. i have my friends and family but dont tell them becaus they think i'm exagerating and dont understand. i'd be so grateful for any advice :)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not quite straight out advice, but if you understand the poem, it might help you out:

    http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/love-after-love/
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am a bit like this. I really dislike rejection. It's a bit of a devil's circle. If you are rejected and you feel alone you are sometimes to direct and offensive about finding someone and that turns them away. What you need to do is, is being friendly with a lot of people (i.e. don't build just one bridge with all of your effort, but many bridges and with time it will be clear which one you can/should cross) and see where this takes you. And if possible, just don't take rejections to you heart. Those people who pull at a night usually have a very good feeling about someone (i.e. it is rather clear that it will work out), or they just try and error with a couple people. If they would be down after one rejection, the chances would be slim that they take someone with them.

    Be more relaxed, don't put THAT much weight into getting together with someone and never play all your trump cards at once. That way you don't face so much disappointment (hoping and wishing is the easiest way to diasappointment btw.) and chances are higher someone wants to be with you. Unless you are really fat or hideous, then I just don't know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    I am a bit like this. I really dislike rejection. It's a bit of a devil's circle. If you are rejected and you feel alone you are sometimes to direct and offensive about finding someone and that turns them away. What you need to do is, is being friendly with a lot of people (i.e. don't build just one bridge with all of your effort, but many bridges and with time it will be clear which one you can/should cross) and see where this takes you. And if possible, just don't take rejections to you heart. Those people who pull at a night usually have a very good feeling about someone (i.e. it is rather clear that it will work out), or they just try and error with a couple people. If they would be down after one rejection, the chances would be slim that they take someone with them.

    Be more relaxed, don't put THAT much weight into getting together with someone and never play all your trump cards at once. That way you don't face so much disappointment (hoping and wishing is the easiest way to diasappointment btw.) and chances are higher someone wants to be with you. Unless you are really fat or hideous, then I just don't know.


    I thought that was really good advice... until i read the last bit and i just LOL'd :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it can be very hard to take rejection. i have dealt with it many times, and am dealing with it now, with the end of friendship.
    sometimes, if you try too hard, it turns people away,especially men.
    be yourself, realize sometimes rejection will happen, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it's just not the right person.
    and like yourself, if you don't like you, no one else will either.

    you are valuable, and someone is going to be so glad they found you it will take their breath away..just be patient
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh, rejection is the worst, especially when you really like the person. I have never been the type to have ever approached a guy or even tell him that I liked him, unless he admitted it first. I think rejection and the fear of letting go of my heart are what really hold me back. A few years ago, I became really good friends with this guy, who at first glance I instantly hated. Since we were in this competitive civics/debate class together, we began to hang out more and really connected. I only liked him as a friend first, but then when I found out that he liked me, I was totally willing to give it a shot. However, things didn't work out because he got all weird within the span of a week. This was when I was still in high school - the place where cliques have a strong hold - and we were from opposite spheres. I guess he felt too intimidated by what his friends thought, and he basically ended our friendship and whatever could have happened. It was hard, a lot harder, actually then I expected it to be. It took me some time to get over it, but eventually I did. Time helps and the realization that you can't control or make anyone like you. If it happens, then it's wonderful and if it doesn't, well then life will suck for a while but that's only temporary. You just have to keep living.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    From my personal exprience, I have found rejection very hard to take. Now people look at me, think I have confidence in doing some stupid stunts, like students do. They think I have confidence in finding a girl. The problem is Ive only had 2 girlfriends, the longest lasted a month and was also my first person I slept with. When we broke up I was heart broken. Ive tried talking to girls since however im always being rejected. Its now left me with no confidence at all.

    However advice I always give people when in my situration is this, every rejection you recieve, the closer you are to finding the right person. Dont let a rejection slow you down, as long as you have your friends then you are loved.


    Kinda contradicting myself arent I :P
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bigtommy wrote: »
    Dont let a rejection slow you down, as long as you have your friends then you are loved.

    Post of the week.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Post of the week.

    Its the truth. Nobody will love you more then your friends. They go through everything with you and are always there for support
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