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Living on your own?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hey guys. I'm not sure if this goes in here or in Home, Law and Money so mods please feel free to move...
...anyway basically I wanted to know whether any of you live on your own and if so how you find it? Since splitting up with my boyfriend (who I share a rented flat with) I've been looking at houseshares again but am starting to feel a bit despondent about it and wondering if it's really what I want to do. I could probably afford a small rented flat on my own but am just not sure what it'd be like with only my own company :( I quite like my own space and always quite liked having this flat to myself, but I'm not sure what it'd be like for weeks and months...anyway, I'd be interested to hear from anyone else who lives alone and can pass on any pros and cons :)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've lived by myself for... cor, over 7 years now. It's brilliant! Do what you want, sit around naked, drink beer when you like, pass wind and not have to apologise, and not have to worry about anyone else not being able to afford the bills. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Haha I can definitely see the positives there ;) Don't you ever find it lonely though? Are there any downsides?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've not lived on my own but if I didn't have my hubby I don't think I would think twice about getting my own place. You could do what you want, when you want, how you want. You would only have your own mess to clear up, you could have things how you want them without having to get someone elses approval. Cons I would say are that it is prob more of a financial strain (although you would only have yourself to feed & clothe and you can get cheaper council tax and water bills when you live alone). Another con would be cooking meals for one in my opinion, I sometimes find it hard just cooking for two when I want to do a pie or something that feeds four, and I don't think I would enjoy sitting down to a meal alone every evening. However I personally think the pros far outweight the cons. That said-I'm the sort of person who loves spending time alone.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, loneliness does kick in from time to time. It'll affect different people in different ways. But it's ace, being able to do what you want when you want... and it doesn't mean you can't see people. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fruit Loop wrote: »
    Another con would be cooking meals for one in my opinion, I sometimes find it hard just cooking for two when I want to do a pie or something that feeds four, and I don't think I would enjoy sitting down to a meal alone every evening.

    well, theres an easy way to solve that problem, freeze any extra you've made or eat it the next day. i live with my boyfriend and most of the meals i make feed 4 people. we usually spread it out over two days but sometimes freeze the extra portions too if we don't fancy it two days in a row :)

    back on topic, i'd personally HATE living on my own. i live with my boyfriend and have done for errr 8 months now. i get REALLY lonely when he isn't here. i enjoy having some time to myself for a while but then get bored, haha :blush: i had the same problem before i moved in with him though. i got lonely. i lived with another girl and we didn't get on that great and she wasn't in that often anyway. i spent most of my time on my own and i hated it.

    ANYWAY, i haven't ever lived on my own but i kinda did where i lived before i moved in with the bloke because i was always on my own there. i hated it.

    you've gotta weigh up the pros and cons. do you reckon you'd be ok coming home to an empty flat every night?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I live on my own and have for over 8 years. I love my independence, but lonliness does set in from time to time. I do have 3 dogs who keep me company & don't complain about a thing!:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Charmers wrote: »
    I live on my own and have for over 8 years. I love my independence, but loneliness does set in from time to time. I do have 3 dogs who keep me company & don't complain about a thing!:)
    :):):):)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks everyone for your replies. It's nice hearing from people who've done it for years and found it OK - but I do understand those who've not got on with it or found it too lonely. I think that's the one main thing putting me off it (apart from the fact it'll be more expensive than sharing). I lived by myself for a bit in my old student house when a couple of my housemates went travelling and I did hate it, but I think that's because the house felt empty (because usually there were more people there if you get me) whereas if I had my own flat I wouldn't be used to there being lots of people there so it wouldn't feel so weird just being me. Plus back then I didn't have many friends or much of a social life, I was very reliant on my boyfriend at the time so when he wasn't around I was basically just by myself with nothing to do. That's not the case now though, I've got lots of mates and plenty to do in the evenings, and I do really like my own company and my own space...hmmm :chin: I'm going to look round another shared house tonight so will see how that goes and then maybe give it some more thought...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I lived on my own for about 5 years before I got married first time round. It was great for all the reasons already mentioned and I don't remember often being lonely. Some people have said that they didn't like being on their own when someone else was away - but that is kind of different. Firstly, if you enjoy someone's company (like a boyfriend), you are bound to miss them when they're not there. And second, if you share a larger place with 2 or 3 flatmates, then you will rattle about when you are on your own. With a smaller place, you can be quite cosy in your own company.

    Even so, whether or not you will feel lonely depends a lot on your social life. If you are a gregarious person, who enjoys going out with friends, there is no reason to be lonely. But if you are already a bit of a loner, may be having just moved into an area, without too many pre-existing friends, I would be cautious about setting up on your own.

    Anyway, let's assume that you will soon find another boyfriend. At least living on your own, you will not need to worry about what your flatmates think of him LOL!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Charmers wrote: »
    :):):):)

    why do you smiley-quote your own post?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my best friend moved out recently to her own place and she was super excited about it, thought it was going to be the best thing ever but she hates it, because she said shes lonely all the time! she said she likes the independence but doesnt like coming home from work and having nobody to talk to etc. i guess its different for her though because shes moved to a place where she doesnt really know anybody so her friends cant just pop round to see her.

    personally i think although i love the idea of living alone i think i'd feel the same! i think id end up talking to myself all the time! i have lived away from home a fair few times but always with a big group of people so i always had someone to chat to. is your flat that you shared with your boyf one bedroomed? (sorry if i missed that). if not maybe you could get someone in to share your flat with you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah it is a one-bedroomed flat so no chance of getting someone else in to share :( I really can't make up my mind - on one hand I feel like I'd actually like being on my own, there's definitely something about having my own space that appeals, plus one of my best mates is keen to share a flat with me next year so it wouldn't be forever (we can't do it at the moment because of jobs and relocating issues). But then I do take the point about loneliness, I can imagine it wouldn't take too much for the novelty of "my own place" to wear off and if I did start feeling lonely and down I'd be stuck with it for a good few months until I can get this place with my mate - and that's only an "if" for now really. I don't know, I'm so torn. Maybe I should stop looking at such big houseshares - all the ones I've looked at so far have been four/five bed places - maybe I should look at moving in with just one other person or something? But then what if we end up not liking each other - there's no-one else around then to take the pressure off if that happens. Aargh I don't know what to do :banghead:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not sure about moving in with just one other person if you don't already know them. Could be awkward if you don't end up getting along. Maybe with a couple of others? Even four of you would be alright, I think.

    You sound as though you'd be ok living on your own though - if you've got friends around and things to do in the evening, I think you'd be fine and wouldn't get too lonely!

    I haven't lived on my own although the person I live with sometimes works lots of late shifts which means I have evenings on my own and it's fine. Nice to be able to cook what I want, watch what I want on TV etc and if I don't want to be on my own I just invite one of my friends round.

    Even living with one other person can be stressful I find, esp when they have different standards of cleanliness and stuff. Myabe try it for a bit - as you said, you've got someone you could share with next year so it wouldnt be forever.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers Kat :) A friend of mine rang me last night to tell me a mutual friend (although I don't know her very well) has a room free as her housemate's moving out, apparently my friend thinks we'd get on really well and as I used to houseshare with her hopefully she's got an informed opinion of me as a housemate! So I've got that option, plus a really good mate of mine and her housemate told me last night they want to move out of where they're living and would like to share with me - which would be absolutely ideal so I'm hoping that will happen. We're going to start looking for 3 bed places although I may have to rent somewhere short term as my boyfriend (well, ex now I suppose) told me last night he's found somewhere and we decided to put our notice in on our flat today :( That gives me 4 weeks to find somewhere new, sort and pack all my stuff and move...
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