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I feel like i have no heart left
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel like i have no heart left.... let me explain...
I found out about two months ago that my mum was meeting up with a bloke that she met ages ago - nothing wrong with that but i knew something was wrong when i saw a cock picture on msn/her being all childish hiding the screen from me etc. I decided to see what has been going on via the MSN chat logs - i wont repeat what was said but its worse than a porn movie!
Past logs showed that he was going around sleeping with other women and my mum was okay with that, She payed for the most expensive hotel room and HIS flight and she goes on at me/my sister dont have any money... yet she just spilled out over £500+!
Anyway he came to see my mum/a confrence and he came into the house, i could of hit him! anyway they went off to the hotel and they 'did it'.
She has told her 'friends' but she has not got the decency to tell me/my sister, she is going on like nothing happens and even she wants him to come back over here in a month or even go over there (and she's paying!).. To me she is nothing but a whore
It also stuck to me that about 3 years ago (when they first ever met) that her, myself and my sister was on holiday and she said she got talking to a spanish man that wanted help with his english, she would go off for an hour to 'teach him' leaving me and my sister to walk to the hotel in another country/language and return 1 and a half/2 hours later with us not knowing what was happening/what has happened with her - this makes me sick.
Anyway my mum and my sister went on holiday for a few days, ive had the best time of my life when they have gone, i feel liked i grew up alot. They come in and i get shouted at right away because i had to leave the dog in my sisters room for an hour (it sat on the bed). I didnt get a thank you for keeping the house clean/dog walked and fed, in fact i didnt get a 'how's your few days been, done anything good?' within 3 hours we have had 4 shouting matchs and i had to walk out and sit in a car park for 1 and a half ours to think.
I want to just get away from her and my shit life at the moment because its been real bad i just want to 'start again' be it in another country touring/doing odd jobs - but i cant because i got no money and would need to see my car (i just passed my test) I feel like i will do something stupid to myself/others if i cant 'escape'
I found out about two months ago that my mum was meeting up with a bloke that she met ages ago - nothing wrong with that but i knew something was wrong when i saw a cock picture on msn/her being all childish hiding the screen from me etc. I decided to see what has been going on via the MSN chat logs - i wont repeat what was said but its worse than a porn movie!
Past logs showed that he was going around sleeping with other women and my mum was okay with that, She payed for the most expensive hotel room and HIS flight and she goes on at me/my sister dont have any money... yet she just spilled out over £500+!
Anyway he came to see my mum/a confrence and he came into the house, i could of hit him! anyway they went off to the hotel and they 'did it'.
She has told her 'friends' but she has not got the decency to tell me/my sister, she is going on like nothing happens and even she wants him to come back over here in a month or even go over there (and she's paying!).. To me she is nothing but a whore
It also stuck to me that about 3 years ago (when they first ever met) that her, myself and my sister was on holiday and she said she got talking to a spanish man that wanted help with his english, she would go off for an hour to 'teach him' leaving me and my sister to walk to the hotel in another country/language and return 1 and a half/2 hours later with us not knowing what was happening/what has happened with her - this makes me sick.
Anyway my mum and my sister went on holiday for a few days, ive had the best time of my life when they have gone, i feel liked i grew up alot. They come in and i get shouted at right away because i had to leave the dog in my sisters room for an hour (it sat on the bed). I didnt get a thank you for keeping the house clean/dog walked and fed, in fact i didnt get a 'how's your few days been, done anything good?' within 3 hours we have had 4 shouting matchs and i had to walk out and sit in a car park for 1 and a half ours to think.
I want to just get away from her and my shit life at the moment because its been real bad i just want to 'start again' be it in another country touring/doing odd jobs - but i cant because i got no money and would need to see my car (i just passed my test) I feel like i will do something stupid to myself/others if i cant 'escape'
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Comments
Get over it.
Probably doesn't help you much, but I can just offer you condolences, because such a behavior of my mother would really upset myself. On the other hand: how old are you? I always had the impression that you are an adult already. Move out and don't bother with your mums airs and graces.
If you are old enough to have a car, you are an adult. Grow up. You'll be surprised how quick the years go by. One day, God willing, you'll wake up and find you are pushing 50 and the opposite sex are still able reduce you to mush and make you behave like a teenager.
I think the problem is more than her having a "relationship" its to do with her lieing to him. I've been in the same situation before, my mum not telling me and my brother about her seeing a guy, having him over at night on a school night having the music blasting, going on a caravan holiday and him coming on it (before we have been introduced to eachother) having to act like i dont know that they are together. Saying "Get over it" isnt really helping the him.
Josh, maybe you could confront her, trying talking to her in a non argumentative way, say that you know and tell her that you feel quite hurt how she didnt tell you about this guy, if things get to much is it possible for you to stay with other relatives for a couple of days till things die down abit and for you to clear your head?
Woah Franki, regardless of your view on this issue - kicking someone when they're feeling down is really quite harsh and I think you could have been a bit kinder here.
Joshmeister, it sounds like your relationship with your mum is quite a tough one. There seems to be two things going on here. On the one hand it sounds like the the sexual content you found on MSN was disturbing for you and it's likely this has impacted the way you view your mum. On the other hand, there's an issue with the way you feel you're viewed in terms of your contributions to the home.
Firstly, Franki does have a point about adult relationships and I guess it's important to remember that MSN conversations are generally considered to be private between two adults and not for the general reading of others. From that point of view - it might be worth thinking about how you would feel if your conversations were being checked by your family members? Some things just aren't meant to be read by other people as they can blur the boundaries of our relationships and make us see a side to a person that we're just not really meant to.
Then there's this other issue of wanting to escape and be independent. It's actually a really positive thing that you're keen to make your own way in life. I know it probably sounds like a hard thing to do, but it might be a good idea to try and separate these two issues so that you're not letting your mum's sex life influence the way you view her in the home. It might be an idea to find a time to sit down with her and talk about how you feel - explaining that you're trying to make an effort and see if there's a way you can work together rather than against each other.
That way you can think rationally about the steps you need to take to move on from the family home without it feeling like you need to desperately escape.
How are you feeling about it all now?
Only saw this after I posted - very well put. :yes:
Sorry Helen, didn't mean for it to sound so horrible. Just that I remember he's posted about his mum and this guy before and he had some good advice then. Plus I'm in a bit of a bad mood.
Sorry Josh. I understand why you're upset but really, it is your mum's business and while it is rude of her to not keep you informed, you are both adults and so maybe she doesn't see it as a big deal. I don't tell my mum everything that goes on in my relationships and she doesn't tell me everything that goes on in hers. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend until she moved us down to Essex to live with him. In that sense I sympathise, but then again I was very young at that point and not really paying attention.
True true, i think he could handle it in a much more matture situation than he has been doing so, but if my mum was doing that NOW (im guessing josh and me are the about the same age cause he mentioned something about his driving test) i'd still be upset about the whole lieing/speding alot of money seeing him and stuff.
Though often hurtful, not telling someone about a relationship between two (apparently) available adults is not the same as "lying". I would have agreed with Loved Up Blond about Joshmeister talking to his mum - However, in my view, he has actually committed the greater wrong by snooping on his mother's MSN log. This represents a gross invasion of privacy and is unlikely foster sympathy from his mum.
*hugs* hope your day gets better.