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Self Harming...Should I Stop?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Generally people say you 'should' stop, but it is human nature to not want people to hurt themselves. In an ideal world you could just stop, but I know it's not as easy as that. It sounds liek you need professional help to try to stop. You could also look up on the internet to see if there are any support groups in your area for people of your age. I have no experience of them, but it has been recommended to me only there aren't any in my area.

    You need to find out why you feel the need to hurt yourself in one way or another (eating disorder and self harming). Have you tried counselling for your eating disorder in the past? It works for some people anyway. I think if you had help with your eating disorder in the past, you should maybe go back to the service that was helping you for treatment now and talk to them about the self harm too.

    Reducing scars... there are things like bio oil and that cocoa butter stuff which is normally used for stretch marks that have both been suggested in the past to me. I don't know if either work, but I have used bio oil to help stop the scars drying out towards the end of the healing process. I don't know what else, other than covering them up with make up that you can do. I don't think there is any definate quick way that will get rid of them completely, because there is damage to the skin there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not really a question of should you stop; it's more of a question of when are you going to stop. I mean come on, you already see how it's affecting the people around you and it seems to me that you have the motivation to stop. Like the crappy old saying goes, where there's a will, there's a way. What could help is if you identify certain friends along with your boyfriend who you can contact whenever you have that urge to harm yourself. Talk to them and just be with them. Self-harm is harder to do while around other people... well, at least for most people. So hopefully, they can keep your mind off of it.

    I think that seeking professional help is a good idea. It's just that eating disorders and self-harming behaviors don't always go hand-in-hand but sometimes are comorbid consequences in issues of low self-esteem or self-hatred. Am not trying to label you or anything like that, am just saying that if these are your root issues (well, even if they're not), it would be beneficial for you to be able to talk about these and sort them out with a professional. Personally, if I were you, I'd rather seek out either a psychologist or a councilor first. Don't look for a psychiatrist right away. Sorry, am a little biased against medication for psychological pathologies. O_O
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Scars will fade, but bio-oil is good. Also, don't stop till your ready, but try and not self harm so much. Wear a rubber band and flick that, or hold an ice cube, or go for a run.
    Good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heya Dem,
    I suffer from bulimia and Borderline Personality Disorder. I self harm as well and ive got deep scars - the best thing really is just to leave them - i know thats difficult but they will fade over time. Mine are fading but ive started to cut again and i hit my head against walls and punch my fists at the wall as well. It makes me relieve a little bit of tension. How are you??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When thinking about self-harm I think that often its hard to think about stopping alltogether. Perhaps you could instead think about reducing your self-harm.

    The thing is... When it comes to SH, I think that it only works if you want to stop. It takes will power and you need to have reasons for moving away from self-injury. They're easy enough to come up with, but you need to make sure that you're doing it for yourself and that the reasons are solid enough to always be there, even when you're perhaps feeling your worst.

    Try using distraction methods when you feel the urge to self-harm. Try the 15 minute rule when things get really tough. Ultimately though if you use self-harm as a way to cope with feelings or emotions, then you will need to find a healthier coping mechanism to replace it with. This could be exercise, taking time out, talking with someone else, relaxing etc etc

    Let us know how you get on, and remember it needs to come from you... All the best :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Dems :wave:

    Welcome to TheSite's boards - this is a safe and supportive community and we hope that you get the advice that you are looking for. We are really pleased that you have been able to open up here and seek support. You have been given some great responses on your thread. The only thing to add is to signpost you to the information pages that we have on coping with self-harm urges and also the distraction tips. These do not all work for everybody, but maybe worth trying out? Also make sure you check out the 'related articles' and 'next steps' links on the right hand side of these pages too.

    Also have a look at our pages on scars and treatment and binge eating, again taking in the links on the right hand side of the page.

    You say that you have started to binge eat and harm yourself again recently. Can you identify anything that might have triggered this, or could it be that there are still some unresolved underlying problems? If so, as has been suggested, you may want to return to see a health professional to help you work through what is going on for you at the moment?

    Keep posting and let us all know how you are.

    Take care - :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im glad i helped if a little bit. xxx let us know how u r getting on xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heya Dems,
    me either i don't intend to stop and the sooner it gets to assessment's being due in the worse mine gets but im not telling anyone in my family as i don't want to end up in hospital again. I understand why you got annoyed with her but you really do need to try and seek help for it.....you need to find other coping strategies instead. I havn't found any strategies yet....but if i do i will let you know. That's like me.....i nearly ate something when i went into the kitchen before and i did a little bit but then i s/h as a punishment and i know that it is not right or a healthy thing to do.......really try not to make yourself sick as it messes up the balances in your blood and then they will section you if you get to the stage where they need to intervene....i.e. if it is damaging your health. You need to find ways of distracting yourself when you don't have a reason to be cutting yourself....distract yourself...have a 15 minute rule of doing something else and then maybe the urge will have gone away (don't know how effective this is, but just a suggestion).
    hope that you are ok
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