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I think he might be cheating..

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well me and my boyfriend have been together 7 months, and last week was a wierd week. It was my birthday monday and he came here, he got me a £100 ring and we had a really lovely evening. Then afteer that i didnt see him all week, so basically, apart from texting him, i had no idea what he was up to. He seemed a bit distant, i kept asking him if he wanted to see me, but he kept saying no and making excuses. I thought it seemed a bit wierd, since usually we see each other quite alot. But last night, was what really made me think. There is this girl that his best mate is with, they have been together over a year now, and him and her are friends. I've always thought he liked her though, shes 21 and has a kid, and if i ever said a bad word against her he would get so defensive. So anyway, last night, i had a birthday meal with him and all my family, it was a perfect night and he was really loving and sweet towards me all night. We went back to mine and he said he was going to stay. Everytime i went out of the room, he was straight on his phone(which he is very secretive about), and it kept going off. After a while he was like 'Theres trouble at mine with my brother i might have to go, my mum's texting me' So i said okay, got a bit upset, but if he HAD to go, then thats fine. I tried peeking at his phone but he just wouldnt let me, but i caught a glipse, and it was that girl, and there was loads written out. She is sposed to be a friend of mine too by the way, so i said to him, ' I thought you were texting your mum' He said he was but he was texting her too. It just seemed all very wierd, as his mum never texts him, its his dad usually, and they will ring him. Then when he went home, her and him where both on xbox til 3 in the morning. I dont know if they were together or playing together. But i just dont feel right about this, someone please help, it could be me worrying, i have thought it before, but i just told myself he would never do that.

Thanks in advance and im sorry if that all is too much and makes no sense.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well the only way you can really know it to talk to him about it. :|
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But i would feel so stupid if i was wrong, and he would flip out at me for even thinking it..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, i suppose its whether you really trust him enough to let it go. Maybe wait and see if it passes?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Smartie wrote: »
    he would flip out at me for even thinking it..


    Would he really? That in itself seems a bit dubious to me.

    If you were to tell him, in a calm, rational and non-accusatory way, that his behaviour last night had concerned you, and made you anxious that he might be being unfaithful, and then he were to go mental at you for even suggesting it, that to me would smack of protesting too much.

    Surely in that situation most reasonable people, if they knew they hadn't been cheating, would be sorry to have caused you distress and would be happy to put your mind at rest? If he flies off the handle at you even asking for reassurance, then I would be suspicious. But if he's doing nothing wrong, he should be only too happy to explain his behaviour and put your mind at ease.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Smartie wrote: »
    and he would flip out at me for even thinking it..

    If he does, then hes probably guilty
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamelia wrote: »
    Would he really? That in itself seems a bit dubious to me.

    If you were to tell him, in a calm, rational and non-accusatory way, that his behaviour last night had concerned you, and made you anxious that he might be being unfaithful, and then he were to go mental at you for even suggesting it, that to me would smack of protesting too much.

    Surely in that situation most reasonable people, if they knew they hadn't been cheating, would be sorry to have caused you distress and would be happy to put your mind at rest? If he flies off the handle at you even asking for reassurance, then I would be suspicious. But if he's doing nothing wrong, he should be only too happy to explain his behaviour and put your mind at ease.

    I agree
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you need to get him on his own, without any distractions and talk to him. don't accuse him of cheating, just try to get the message across that your confused and worried. if he says nothings going on, try to drop it and trust him. alternatively, you could nab his phone and look at his messages... good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    update

    Well i went and spoke to him, and told him exactly what i said above, it all just came out, and he explained it all to me, and i believe him, i think ive just over thought it all, he is still very secretive about his phone though, but we did have a really good night together, and he said he will see me more, he just wanted some time alone, which i think is fair enough. :)
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