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anyone who has anything helpful to say about self harm

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
hello, I have never been on any site like this before so not really sure how it works....i have self harmed since i was about 15 and am now nearly 23...it isnt a regular thing and isn't ever dangerous in the physical sense, but every now and then when i am feeling really down that is what i turn to and it just makes me feel even worse after and i don't know what to do. I really want to stop as even though it isnt that bad it still scars and because it happens in the heat of the moment i don't always do it in a place where noone can see, although usually it is somwhere noone can see. I just want to stop. some people know that i used to but even though i have a good group of friends it is too embarassing to keep telling them as they just seem to tell me off which makes me feel guilty which doesnt help.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1986anon wrote: »
    hello, I have never been on any site like this before so not really sure how it works....i have self harmed since i was about 15 and am now nearly 23...it isnt a regular thing and isn't ever dangerous in the physical sense, but every now and then when i am feeling really down that is what i turn to and it just makes me feel even worse after and i don't know what to do. I really want to stop as even though it isnt that bad it still scars and because it happens in the heat of the moment i don't always do it in a place where noone can see, although usually it is somwhere noone can see. I just want to stop. some people know that i used to but even though i have a good group of friends it is too embarassing to keep telling them as they just seem to tell me off which makes me feel guilty which doesnt help.

    I'm crap at this one but I think you may have landed in the right place cos there's loads of people here who will relate to this and give you a lot of cuddles and a shit load of very good advice.
    All the best.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really hope you can get some empathy and advice here !!!

    ps: morroccon roll im glad youre still dossing about here youve always been an interesting character:D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    muse- wrote: »
    I really hope you can get some empathy and advice here !!!

    ps: morroccon roll im glad youre still dossing about here youve always been an interesting character:D

    I like to pop in every now and then:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    self harming

    Self harming is what people turn to as a way of coping with emotions, like when you're feeling down. Its not a very good way of coping though because as you say, it can make you feel worse too.

    I self harm too but i've been seing a counsellor and its helping. Maybe talking to someone could help you too? Sometimes it just helps to get stuff of your chest and as you don't want to talk to your friends you might need someone else to talk to.

    My counsellor suggested that when i'm feeling really down and tempted to self harm, i should try writing down my feelings somewhere. I haven't tried this yet, but i can see how it could help because its releasing feelings in a less harmful way.

    You could also try less extreme forms of self harming. One way to do this is using ice cubes and pressing them to your skin, this way it is still uncomfortable and in a way, painful, but doesn't cause any damage.

    I hope this helps xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for your reply. I am seriously thinking about talking to the doctor about it, although i feel a bit worried as i kind of see going to the doctor as a way to deal with physical problems which i dont really see this as, but i spoke to one of my friends this evening and she said she thinks i should go and see someone as she didnt really know what to say. I am also slightly worried as i have just got a new job working in mental health and i feel like if they knew this i wouldnt be able to work there any more but i hope to do clinical psych eventually so really dont want to lose my job. There has been a lot of stuff going on with this guy who i was seeing who is with someone else (i didnt know this the whole time) and i completely fell for him and believed him when he said he was going to break up with her then she found out something was going on and he stayed with her and didnt want anything to do with me. I really ended up falling for him and this has made me feel low and i cant stop thinking about him i just dont know what to do. any advice would be brilliant. xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1986anon wrote: »
    thanks for your reply. I am seriously thinking about talking to the doctor about it, although i feel a bit worried as i kind of see going to the doctor as a way to deal with physical problems which i dont really see this as, but i spoke to one of my friends this evening and she said she thinks i should go and see someone as she didnt really know what to say. I am also slightly worried as i have just got a new job working in mental health and i feel like if they knew this i wouldnt be able to work there any more but i hope to do clinical psych eventually so really dont want to lose my job. There has been a lot of stuff going on with this guy who i was seeing who is with someone else (i didnt know this the whole time) and i completely fell for him and believed him when he said he was going to break up with her then she found out something was going on and he stayed with her and didnt want anything to do with me. I really ended up falling for him and this has made me feel low and i cant stop thinking about him i just dont know what to do. any advice would be brilliant. xx
    if you go to the doctor, they will be very helpful with depression and more often than not they refer you to a counsellor or psychologist which is extremely helpful. do not be ashamed to see either of these, you should be proud that you are aware of your problems and that you are ready to stop! i know that most people say guys aren't worth you feeling low for, although this point is true, it is always made at the worst times, at times like this you need to realise that a guy like that isnt worth your time of day, you need to be comfortable with yourself and adress your personal issues before you can start a relationship. maybe this guy is your wakeup call ? he should make you see that although you may love him, you shouldn't stand for this treatment! :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In terms of your job, I don't think you have anything to worry about. From what I can see, there are probably a couple of reasons why you think this habit would cost you the job: 1) you're afraid that you might be labeled as something of a headcase, or 2) they just won't get it and fire you for being a deviant. If am right with either assumption, then you shouldn't be worried. I'm gonna make another assumption and say that the people you'll be working with are professionals. If they're dabbling in mental health, then chances are that it wouldn't be the first time they would see someone with self-harming tendencies.

    Either that or I have completely misunderstood what your new job is all about. O_O
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