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Unrequited Love

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello,

I have just registered and I really need some straight talking advice please!

I have loved a man for 13 years. I never have and never will be part of his life romantically so why can't I just accept that! I am so frustrated with myself I can't begin to explain.

I have read articles on unrequited love and have physically moved on, I have been married and divorced. Now with my partner for 5 years and we have a son who is 4. All this at the same time as loving someone else :no:

I am really worried there is something wrong with me.

Does anyone else have a similar story or reassure me that I'm not completely mad :crazyeyes

Thank you

Sam

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Otter72 wrote: »
    Hello,

    I have just registered and I really need some straight talking advice please!

    I have loved a man for 13 years. I never have and never will be part of his life romantically so why can't I just accept that! I am so frustrated with myself I can't begin to explain.

    I have read articles on unrequited love and have physically moved on, I have been married and divorced. Now with my partner for 5 years and we have a son who is 4. All this at the same time as loving someone else :no:

    I am really worried there is something wrong with me.

    Does anyone else have a similar story or reassure me that I'm not completely mad :crazyeyes

    Thank you

    Sam

    Try cut them out of your life?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think you are unique or mad. 13 years is a long time to have feelings for someone you cannot be with, but a lot of us harbour fantasies about someone else from time to time ... and those fantasies can endure for months or years, depending on how often they are fed by contact with the person concerned. If you are happy in your relationship with your partner, I wouldn't worry unduly. If thoughts of your secret love turn you on, you could use those feelings to the benefit of your partner!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello,

    Thank you for your replies.

    I cannot completely rid him out of my life as he is my weekend employer and my continued work experience is critical to my future career. I have looked and looked for an alternative employer in what we do - it would be easier to find rocking horse poo!! It feels like a cruel twist of fate that my passion for my career is directly linked to my love for him.

    My partner has met him and knows all about him. He has been nothing short of amazing about everything as I wanted to start our relationship on the most honest level. I won't bore with the details but I had to explain myself (I have been married before).
    We have been together for 5 years now and I could of chosen to have stayed single but that would have been silly. I deserve to be happy but the guilt I live with everyday brings me to tears at least once a week. I haven't done anything wrong but I just feel so guilty.

    My unrequited love is married (2nd) and he has expressed on many occasions that he isn't happy and he can't leave because of money etc.
    I told him how I felt 6 years ago via letter. I didn't tell him to his face because I knew nothing could ever come of it so he didn't need to sit me down and give me the, nice girl but I'm married conversation. I was also scared to do it. He completely ignored the letter and I mean has never mentioned it at all but panicked and locked my friend/manager in a room and discussed with her. She has never given me the full extent of what he said. I have assumed that she was protecting me from horrible comments! I really thought he would be better about it, you know have a sense of humour about it but he seems to have taken it very seriously, almost offended by it. He still has me around at the weekend though at work, I'm probably an ego boost. It is so so hard for me. I try so hard to be matter of fact, stand offish but that isn't who I am at all. :no:

    Sorry to ramble on.

    Sam
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