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breaking point...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
so, i've had no money all summer, i'm battling with the jobcentre about whether i should get back paid ESA because i've been signed off sick since june, i've had 2 relapses of all my shitty mental health problems, all my joints are painfull 75% of the time, i've been bleeding for the best part of a month and thus feel really anemic, all the money i'm meant to get for last years disabled students allowance hasn't come through, i'm in about £1600 of debt because of being so ill this year and not getting the money owed to me. i don't really feel like i've got any good friends i can properly rely on, because they aren't near by. i'm getting panic attacks most days - i'm finding it hard to go out on my own atm. i'm having trouble getting out of bed and i kinda just want to disappear...

i'm starting back at uni in 2 weeks, i'm really unsure about how the fuck i'm gonna cope...my GP is doing all she can, as are my support worker and CPN but as there are no specialist trauma services in my area, and i haven't responded well to psychotherapy and counciling before. i can't seem to think clearly half the time, i get lost when i speaking - consistantly going off on tangents or ranting all the time. i've started stuttering lots resently...as well as getting awful palpitations and acid reflux...

i often feel really disassociated from the world, like i'm living in a glass bubble filled with shit...

i'm still on lots of medication and i am actually taking it but its not making me any better...

i just don't know what to do any more...

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Really sorry to hear about this.

    You could look up your local MIND - that may help.

    But I hope things improve, keep talking about it on here
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A mental health support group could help. I go to one near me.

    But if you ring MIND they provide advice and give a range of help to people including finances
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have but they haven't hugely helped...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you been referred to a Community Mental Health Team? sounds like you need specialist advice and support from social workers

    Hope your problems ease off soon
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have but i'm still not getting enough support...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi

    The information in your forum is very useful.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm... i know at uni they have the 'disability centre' (can't remember what it was called lol, but i got my own 'case worker' when i was at uni) hmm.. until you start, i can't think of much to suggest that you haven't already got (CPN, support worker etc)

    My only suggestion would be to call someone like MIND or Samaritans, and just talk to them... talk about all these problems, and break it down into smaller bits, and see if you can do at least anything little to tackle them??

    *HUGS**
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    they don't do it like that at my uni - theres a disablity co-ordinator who is very over worked and isn't often available to see, and the support worker though uni is basically a note taker - not very helpful if they don't know the subject which most don't

    i have spoken to mind and they haven't been able to give me much support either - they don't have very many services available for young people...and my views on the samaritans have been aired before and i got shouted at for them....

    i've found the women and girls network - who could help me but their waiting list is now closed, so i'm trying to find other support groups or things like that around...you would have thought there would have been tonnes in london and there just isn't...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya twisted_trinity

    Sounds like you've been trying lots of avenues and not getting a lot of luck. That can make it hard to summon enough energy to keep looking for help, but I'd really urge you not to give up.

    You mention that you have a disability - have you heard of Skill? They're an organisation that specifically helps young disabled students and they have heaps of knowledge about the issues you are experiencing. They're particularly good at advising students on how to get all the financial support and extra study support that they're entitled to.

    Visit their site or call them on 0800 328 5050.

    It would probably also be worth chatting to one of your teachers/course tutor as soon as you can so they're aware of your situation right at the start of term and can help you schedule things so they don't get too much.

    I really hope you feel a bit brighter soon
    Hannah
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have but i'm still not getting enough support...

    .........how about approaching local voluntary organisations that offer befriender volunteers who get to know you in one to one relationships. There are people who become volunteers to help vulnerable adults in times of crisis. Most councils will fund a voluntary sector bureau, which has a list of voluntary organisations in the locality
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm on the waiting list for a mind befriender atm...

    got some good news - my ESA is coming through next week but they seem to classify the summer vacation as july 1st to august 31st - where as my uni state that their vacation period is june 17th - 4th oct - and the student loans company work with this...so i'm still left without any money for september, had to get my local MP involved as the jobcentre would not budge...

    i am being refered to the post traumatic stress clinic finally! which is great...

    but i'm still feeling really fucking stressed....need some me time!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i am being refered to the post traumatic stress clinic finally! which is great...

    but i'm still feeling really fucking stressed....need some me time!
    Work it out quietly in the gym or relax with a swim alone in the local pool
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