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First step I guess?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,
I'm 20 years old and I've had a history of self harm for about 4 years. It's not very often, just when things really seem to be out of my control I guess. I'm sitting here right now, and everything is out of my control. It's frustrating, and terrifying, and I'm really not sure what to do. I feel lost, and alone, and I've put my friends through so much of my shit lately that they don't want to deal with it anymore. I'm emotionally exhausted from pretending to be happy when I know I'm not. I feel alone and cold when I'm not talking to anyone; I feel guilty and anxious whenever I am.
I guess I came here looking for an outlet before I pull out my razor blade. It terrifies me to no end knowing how close I am to turning back, when I was doing so well on my own, but I just need to feel some sort of control over my pain. I realize that this isn't the BEST place to come looking for advice, and I realize that I would never forgive myself for dong what I really urge to do right now, but I'm not sure how much more of this feeling I can take.
I wish I could feel like I have more control over my life, and I suppose this is my final attempt at doing so right now. I must say it feels like a decent first step.
Hope I wasn't too wordy for anyone; thanks for letting me share.
I'm 20 years old and I've had a history of self harm for about 4 years. It's not very often, just when things really seem to be out of my control I guess. I'm sitting here right now, and everything is out of my control. It's frustrating, and terrifying, and I'm really not sure what to do. I feel lost, and alone, and I've put my friends through so much of my shit lately that they don't want to deal with it anymore. I'm emotionally exhausted from pretending to be happy when I know I'm not. I feel alone and cold when I'm not talking to anyone; I feel guilty and anxious whenever I am.
I guess I came here looking for an outlet before I pull out my razor blade. It terrifies me to no end knowing how close I am to turning back, when I was doing so well on my own, but I just need to feel some sort of control over my pain. I realize that this isn't the BEST place to come looking for advice, and I realize that I would never forgive myself for dong what I really urge to do right now, but I'm not sure how much more of this feeling I can take.
I wish I could feel like I have more control over my life, and I suppose this is my final attempt at doing so right now. I must say it feels like a decent first step.
Hope I wasn't too wordy for anyone; thanks for letting me share.
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Hey egrai057,
Welcome to the site, and for sharing how your feel at the moment
In addition to the forum there are many articles on self harm, stress and help that you can access which maybe helpful to you. have you got any help with your self harm? counselling maybe an option, you will find info about it here.
Feel free to post when and if you want or need, it can be good to share whats on your mind rather than bottle it up:)
keep posting and welcome:wave: