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Thats disgusting, you're going to hell for that
When anyone says it's sick, but they have no problem with gay people. Sorry, but being gay comes with the gay sex/relationships. That means you do have an issue with it. If you are meaning more towards just anal sex, you don't have to be gay to do anal sex. Most people don't believe me when I say anal sex doesn't interest me. It doesn't. I'll try it sure, but if I don't like it, I don't like it. I wont do it again and again just because I'm gay.
I personally haven't always liked guys. I basically, in short terms, just changed over the course of say, 2 days literally where I could notice my feelings like normal. Of course it took me a few years to develop but my first feelings happened like that. Totally out of the blue.
When it's mentioning campness. I don't like it myself, but if I see a camp guy I wont immediately think "Oh he's gay". Only because I don't act that way and I find it really irritating (Or remotely attractive). Just like I would in a woman. But because of that, when someone finds out I'm gay, they take it even worse. Be frank about it, having no issue with gay people, but being surprised someone is is still finding a small issue with it. Could even be you liked that person and you find this out, that to me is still an issue. You may not hate them for it but still.
Two things though I don't and wont agree with is Gay Pride, or even coming out. Nothing to be proud of, and I shouldn't have to tell people every time. They should always have that thought of your child can be straight or gay (Inc. bi), not just accepting the most common.
Well yes, but I think you'll find people have similar attitudes towards the idea of anyone they don't find attractive going at it. You'd get a similar response to the idea of two pensioners having sex, or worse still, members of their own family. And I've had gay friends express similar attitudes about the idea of having sex with a woman. Which is why straight men who don't like the idea of two men going at it actually enjoy the idea of two attractive women doing the same thing. None of this is the same as actual disapproval, although I would question the attitude of anyone using the word "sick" to describe it, because that's a bit strong.
Yeah such words should never be used- sign of bigotry
But you are right, straight sex to me is a little bit strange, I'm just so not attracted to men that the thought of anyone having sex with one confuses me!
As for coming out, that's always a personal choice. Most people who know me know I'm gay because they knew me as president of the LGBT society at uni or because they met my ex when we were together. But I don't tell people when we first meet (unless I'm with one of the delightful individuals who refer to me as Kate the Lesbian regardless of who is listening), I wait until we're talking about relationships and even then it's only if I have to use a pronoun or a name to describe my ex or who I'm attracted to; I don't labour the point.
Fuck the bigots.
Just a thought, if only a 'few' people know, isn't that holding YOU back for not being who you are?
It is a generational thing that you have to contend with here. Presuming that your parents are in their 60s at least, they grew up in a different era and one must wonder if it's worth 'rocking the boat' with them at this stage in their lives.
Unless not telling them is making you desperately unhappy, I don't think there is any pressure to do so BUT you state that you would like to talk to them.
Why is that important to you that you do want to talk to them? Do you feel that you may very well have a lesbian partner in the future which would need explaining?
Lots of people (straight/bi/gay) are not comfortable talking about the nitty gritty of their sex lives with their parents so don't feel alone there. But is it more YOUR discomfort that holds you back from talking to them than it is the fear of how they will react?
Most good parents only want their children to be happy. You've produced some grandchildren for them so that is worth celebrating. But perhaps you may find they are far more accommodating of who you really are and you may be pleasantly surprised?
Would you say the best thing for me to do would leave things as they are up until if it happens i do meet the right lady????????????
Sytaight people don't go around announcing their sexuality, not in a coming out sense, so why should anyone else?
Because if she wants the freedom to bring a girlfriend home, or even a succession of girlfriends, don't you think some 'clarification' of her situation to the family would be helpful? Telling family about one's sexuality is a step forward in attaining personal freedom.
The reason why is if you want it be to be seen as normal, don't create other methods to change that. I don't agree with straight pride or anything either. It's all missed the point. Yes I agree behind the hidden message, but it's not about that anymore in practice.
They do though, you just don't notice it so easily.
Oooohhh I love gay pride! It's great!
C-A x
No... I love gay pride because it's some where I can be open and comfortable with my sexuality... And yes, it is a light-hearted day, but that's part of the whole thing! "I am gay/bi and I am proud of it" is the message, and it get's delivered.
C-A xx
Here here! Thats coming from a gay man! :shocking:
I think pride events mean different things to different people. When pride is on here in Brighton it is a fun weekend as much as anything else - largely, I suspect, because acceptance of gay folk isn't really a cause that needs championing here. It's a good-humoured, silly and and outrageously camp weekend which celebrates, among other things, the almost universal acceptance that being gay has gained in Brighton; it's not a highly politicised event.
But, yes, Brighton felt much much more like a family environment than London. Much more relaxed, but there were still political stalls and staff at the fayre after.
I was moving house over Pride weekend and, as horrible as it sounds, the wet weather worked in my favour as it meant is was possible to drive the van about! Normally the streets are so packed it'd have been impossible. </completely off topic>
Sure, Brighton's Gay Pride isn't apolitical - it's just not the overarching theme.
I don't think that you should be confused by the two descriptions : effeminate and camp.
An 'effeminate' man is not necessarily 'camp'. Usually, effeminate men can't help themselves and are born that way.
Campness, on the other hand, is put on. A definition might be 'exaggerated theatricalism'. Straight people can be camp too. Like Eddie Izzard!
This is what I generally don't feel comfortable with because I am somewhat embarrassed by people drawing attention to themselves like that (which is often their goal). I have some camp guys as acquaintances - but nothing more.
But while 'straight' men disapprove of 'camp' gay guys, straight guys have their problems too. Loud, boorish, drunken thug-types are hardly a classy representation of the straight male either.
So lets just live and let live.
I think this is essentially the crux of it. I don't pretend to understand why some people choose to be screamingly-camp, but then I don't understand skinny jeans and larger louts, either. Let people alone to make whatever decisions they like, as long as they're not hurting anyone else.
As for whether or not it is natural, or a mental illness... The concept of mental illness is surely a social construct anyway. At what point to we draw a line and say this person has a mental illness and another doesn't?
I have cyclic depression, but I don't consider myself mentally ill. Everybody experiences it differently...
Just like I have 'dyspraxia'. I hate the idea of being just a dyspraxic, people are neurodiverse, not disabled and abled. :rolleyes:
Tbh I think if homosexuality was so unnatural or a choice, you wouldn't have people in some countries being criminally punished for it. Why the hell would you choose to be gay in a country like Iran.