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Oh Brother!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey siteypeople!
I have had since the age about 12 a serious hate relationship going on with my brother, the kind where we could not play team games with each other like football without fighting. Monopoly was a god damned nightmare and we never touched Warhammer again after I threw Nagash out the window following a rather heated argument and some stomped dwarves.
Anyhoo this crap carried on well into our teens where it was the same petty stuff with slightly more serious repercussions but almost all was from his side rather than mine - im not saying i never did anything to him - but for the sake of our mum's nerves i was the quieter son. A few examples are:
Him hiding some pills in my room so mum would find them and throw me out so he could knock the wall through and make a bigger room - luckily mum has more sense but still the intent was there.
Strangling me until my eyes rolled into the back of my head because i put a basket of dvd's in his room.
Trading my playstation for drugs then lying and saying someone else stole it.
All through this particular patch (16-18) i would do all sorts of stuff for him like take his dvd's back to blockbusters, go buy drugs, go sell drugs, go shopping for muchies, clean up after him if he puked and other basic stuff like that, not miracles but making his life a bit easier.
Now it sounds like im getting all whiny but that was years ago, the point i am trying to make is there is no love between us at all really, in my mind i have no respect for him after he cheated on his girlfriend while she was pregnant. (im honestly not making any of this up! >.<) which was another low point. She never found out. Some time after his first born (3 years ago maybe) i took him shopping at least once a week, did other stuff too like taking him a tray of eggs every bloody saturday.
Anyhoo most of this crap happened years ago, last year i moved to denmark and didnt see him for maybe 4 months until christmas where i got a nasty fever and could barely move and he kept phoning me up and swearing at me :yeees: so then i went back to denmark and didnt speak to him for 7 months then came back to the uk for an indefinite aount of time.
In the time ive been back he has been civil to me but has only spoken to me twice and to be honest i havent missed him while i was away and i havent missed him while ive been back.
Now i know it looks like im playing the martyr here and im really trying not to, im just stating things as they are and i know i am the kind of person who almost enjoys being a doormat for others, i just get a kick out of helping people however freudian that is, but i still have my overbearing question for all you wonderful siteypeople;
Today (or rather yesterday since its now 1:15am) was my birthday and he didnt come round, didnt phone, didnt leave a present or even a facebook post - why does that really really bother me?
I have had since the age about 12 a serious hate relationship going on with my brother, the kind where we could not play team games with each other like football without fighting. Monopoly was a god damned nightmare and we never touched Warhammer again after I threw Nagash out the window following a rather heated argument and some stomped dwarves.
Anyhoo this crap carried on well into our teens where it was the same petty stuff with slightly more serious repercussions but almost all was from his side rather than mine - im not saying i never did anything to him - but for the sake of our mum's nerves i was the quieter son. A few examples are:
Him hiding some pills in my room so mum would find them and throw me out so he could knock the wall through and make a bigger room - luckily mum has more sense but still the intent was there.
Strangling me until my eyes rolled into the back of my head because i put a basket of dvd's in his room.
Trading my playstation for drugs then lying and saying someone else stole it.
All through this particular patch (16-18) i would do all sorts of stuff for him like take his dvd's back to blockbusters, go buy drugs, go sell drugs, go shopping for muchies, clean up after him if he puked and other basic stuff like that, not miracles but making his life a bit easier.
Now it sounds like im getting all whiny but that was years ago, the point i am trying to make is there is no love between us at all really, in my mind i have no respect for him after he cheated on his girlfriend while she was pregnant. (im honestly not making any of this up! >.<) which was another low point. She never found out. Some time after his first born (3 years ago maybe) i took him shopping at least once a week, did other stuff too like taking him a tray of eggs every bloody saturday.
Anyhoo most of this crap happened years ago, last year i moved to denmark and didnt see him for maybe 4 months until christmas where i got a nasty fever and could barely move and he kept phoning me up and swearing at me :yeees: so then i went back to denmark and didnt speak to him for 7 months then came back to the uk for an indefinite aount of time.
In the time ive been back he has been civil to me but has only spoken to me twice and to be honest i havent missed him while i was away and i havent missed him while ive been back.
Now i know it looks like im playing the martyr here and im really trying not to, im just stating things as they are and i know i am the kind of person who almost enjoys being a doormat for others, i just get a kick out of helping people however freudian that is, but i still have my overbearing question for all you wonderful siteypeople;
Today (or rather yesterday since its now 1:15am) was my birthday and he didnt come round, didnt phone, didnt leave a present or even a facebook post - why does that really really bother me?
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Comments
However, you may just have to accept that the only thing you've got in common with him is a chromosome and parents. Not being able to speak to a family member is a shame, but better to remain civil with one another when and if you do see each other is much better than trying to force it and creating a bitter family rift.
Simple answer, because he's your brother. Convention tells us that because we are related there must be something wrong with us if we don't on with our own flesh and blood, ie blood is thicker than water e.t.c.
birthdays passed...he did nothing. i felt nothing!
its good that it bothers you to an extent coz it shows you still have that sibling love for him, even if its really deep down. but dont let it get you down. let it go!
i hope things work out for you 2, if it doesnt then i hope u guys js stay outta each others hair. its the next best thing.
love hugs and fried chicken :wave:
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