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Salery sex

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
After just Reading an article about mismatched sex drives in a relationship it just made me feel like I am a freak. I'm not a deviant but is it wrong to want ... Sorry need sex more than once a month? The article I just read said that there should be no pestering and making the other person feel good. I kind of took this as a given and have been making a concerted effort to make a better effort in the place that needed it most. Suprisingly this was house work, but after a while of doing my share and trying to equal the burden with no difference I start to think what's the point? It's as though I'm in a fucking nightmare I find myself increasingly looking at other women which I shouldn't do as I'm concious of my partners self esteem but I can't help it. Am I a scum bag deviant fiend for wanting the second most natural thing next to breathing more often or should I just accept my losses and be confined to salary sex?

I hope this doesn't sound pathetic and I'm whining which is how it sounds to me when I think about it I'm just in need of advice/answers on if my situation is normal.

P.s. Sorry for the grammar I'm writing this on my phone.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    More than once a month!? I need it at least once a week.

    What kind of advice are you after? How to make you partner want you more? I'm a little unclear.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just to know you need once a week is enough. I just keep thinking I'm being a pest for wanting more than once a month. I'm getting nothing from my gf and seem to be on my route to a sex pest. My gf has a self problem which I am trying to help her rectify and she admitted she has a low sex drive so is it time to cut my losses and move on?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everyone is different in regards to drive. Its a bit low to dump someone just because they dont want as much sex as you.

    Is the sex you have good when you do have it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think you need to sit down and have an open talk so that you come to an arrangement that works for you both...

    if my boyfriend lived with me i would have sex pretty much twice or three times a day...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you need to work out what is important to you and what you can live without. She may have a low sex drive because of self esteme or she may just have one.
    Can you live with that?
    Although sex is not the be all and end all if its important to you you need to talk to her.
    Sometimes people just arent compatible sexually
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You mention her self esteem, is that why she doesn't want sex more often? It might be worth trying to work with her about her self esteem, it could be why she's reluctant to have sex.

    You can't have a strong relationship without balanced sex drives. That's a fact. If your sex drives are not compatible then you might need to accept that you're not compatible as a couple.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    You mention her self esteem, is that why she doesn't want sex more often? It might be worth trying to work with her about her self esteem, it could be why she's reluctant to have sex.

    You can't have a strong relationship without balanced sex drives. That's a fact. If your sex drives are not compatible then you might need to accept that you're not compatible as a couple.
    That's not strictly true. Rich has a much higher sex drive than I do (well, he does now, after that whole not-being-able-to-have-it-for-a-year thing) but he understands that I don't need it as much or want it as much, and he can cope with it. He also knows that there are reasons my sex drive is much lower than it was, and that I'm trying to work on it.

    Give and take is the key, I feel. Although I agree that once a month is ridiculous. Once a week is even a little low depending on how often you see her. We're having it maybe twice or three times a week these days depending on how often we're together. I know we used to be rampant but I wouldn't say we're above average even now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mr g please don't take me forbsome low life who is only after one thing from a relationship. I've got to admit that when we do have sex it's boring. She does the old I'll lie back and think of England routine and that's it. I'm working with her about her self esteem isues but it's as though she doesn't want help and is pushing me away. I may have sounded harsh with the whole cut my losses line but at the moment I feel like a flatmate who pays for stuff but gets to sleep in the same bed.

    Thanks for all the replies guys I have a few points to think about.
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