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heartbroken and dont know what to do

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
:confused: well, where to start....well my g/f and i broke up more than 3 months ago and i still haven't been able to forget about her and move on, its driving me crazy! when we broke up, we more or less stopped all contact with each other and tbh, i was fine with things and getting on with my life. then, one day out of the blue she got in touch with me and from then on we started speaking on a daily basis. i told her upfront that i was still madly in love with her and that i wanted us to make another go of things. she was hesitant at first but decided we could start again as friends. i accepted this and if im truly honest with myself, i got my hopes up when i knew i shouldn't have. i couldn't help myself. over the course of the next month, we hung out regularly and spoke everyday. i truly felt we were becoming closer again and i was so happy to have seemingly 'got my woman back' certain things she said to me led me to believe that she wanted the same things as me, like how much she missed me and that she wished she was with me when she wasn't etc... then one day, just over a month ago now, she completely dropped me like a hat and basically told me to leave her alone and never to contact her again :no: i was absolutely devastated as i thought we were on good terms and making good progress at re-establishing our relationship. now, when we were together, i was less than perfect. we argued a lot and i let silly little things come between us. but when she got back in touch, i made it my sole mission to prove to her that i wasn't a bad person and that i would do anything to show her how much i loved her. i haven't heard from her since and she is acting like i no longer exist. its killing me inside. i wish i felt the same way as her but my heart just won't let her go. Feelings of depression are now ever present and suicide is constantly on my mind. I just feel so worthless and pathetic for allowing someone to bring me down this low. im on meds from the doc to help pick up my mood which to an extent are helping but the way i see it right now, if i cant have her, then i dont wanna be here. how sad is that?!? i dont wanna feel like this but i cant help but feel that she was possibly 'the one' and i let her go :banghead: i just hate myself so much and i cant seem to forgive myself. 24-7 she is all i think about and it truly is driving me crazy..... even now im ranting on and this really annoys me :mad: i just dont know what to do anymore. tried all the usual methods, out with friends, new hobby etc but no matter what i try, she is ALL i think of! im sure people have felt this way before and i've been heartbroken in my past but for whatever reason, i just cant shake it this time round. i just want to enjoy life again but without her, there seems like no end at the end of the tunnel. im never gonna meet someone like her again and its eating me up :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If she is effecting you as much as to the point of wanting to commit suicide, does that not perhaps show you something along the lines of maybe shes not the one?

    I wouldnt advise to try and keep on thinking of getting back with her, after all, someone that can do the dropping you like a piece of crap, doesnt deserve you.

    You will get through it, just keep plodding on and try to keep your head up bud. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to hear you're feeling like this but I think you're maybe being a bit too harsh on yourself by thinking you should be able to forget about her if its only been 3 months since you broke up. Thats not a long time really if you think how much a part of your life she seems to have been and her coming back into your life when you were just starting to move on can't of helped either. Personally, it took me a good 6 months to move on and forget about my ex, so my advice to you is just to try and not let yourself think about her when she pops into your mind, move onto to thinking about something else and it'll soon pass. And also, dont worry about her being 'the one that got away' because if it is meant to be then it will work itself out and there will be plenty more people who will come into in your life and make you feel like that again! :)
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    alaska91 wrote: »
    Sorry to hear you're feeling like this but I think you're maybe being a bit too harsh on yourself by thinking you should be able to forget about her if its only been 3 months since you broke up. Thats not a long time really if you think how much a part of your life she seems to have been and her coming back into your life when you were just starting to move on can't of helped either. Personally, it took me a good 6 months to move on and forget about my ex, so my advice to you is just to try and not let yourself think about her when she pops into your mind, move onto to thinking about something else and it'll soon pass. And also, dont worry about her being 'the one that got away' because if it is meant to be then it will work itself out and there will be plenty more people who will come into in your life and make you feel like that again! :)

    :yes: spot on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for your replies guys, always good to hear another opinion. i know it'll take me a bit of time but i think part of the problem is that i simply aint ready to let her go :( god, why are these things so hard!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i kinda feel the same about my ex girlfriend so i know what your going threw but whatever happends DO NOT KILL YOURSELF thats just silly there is more out there trush me. im kinda over my ex theres still times when i think about her about all the good times we had but i know i will have more good times with another girl and so will you

    trush me if she is ''the one'' something will happend in time

    this is my motto EVERYTHING HAPPENDS FOR A REASON
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for the opinions folks...to be totally honest, i don't wanna kill myself as such, i just want all this pain and hurt to go away. i think a big part of the problem is the fact i just dont know what made her change her mind so drastically and seen as she's acting like i no longer exist, i cannot seem to get any closure on the matter. i know the fact that she is completely ignoring me should be enough closure on its own, but its not at all :( i just wish there was something i could do, or even say to make her see what she means to me but, you simply cant make someone love you and to be honest, i wouldn't wanna. it's just really hard. came through far tougher break-ups than this but for some reason i cannot pull myself out of this misery and heartache. i cant even remember the last time i had a proper meal, i've lost soooo much weight i'm actually starting to worry about it and the fact i barely sleep doesn't help matters. it's all just one big mess :( and the fucked up thing, i'm just really scared that i won't be able to let anyone else get that close to me again for fear of being hurt in the same way and that just aint any kinda way to live your life. sometimes i wish i was as cold as her in that she won't be feeling anywhere near the amount of pain i'm feeling and could just swan about and get on with my life without a single care in the world. its amazing how two people, who used to be sooo close can suddenly feel so different about the same thing! sucks big time! anyway, sorry, rant over
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hang in there buddy. one thing i can say is that you are worth something as a person, and anyone, who treats you like this, doesn't have a lot of respect for you. and doesn't (sorry to be harsh) care that much about you. i'm not going to be nice and make excuses for this girl because you are the most important person in your life not her, she's obviously not worth more time, i know it's hard but eventually you'll see, i'm going through the same thing as you and the best advice i can give you is think of all the times she hurt you when you're thinking about wanting her back... and then think about how you have a whole life in front of you to meet lots more fantastic people and have new experiences, maybe they will work out or maybe they won't, but you can't give up your life for this one little heartbreak, you have to go out there everytime and give people your all and don't hold back that way you'll find someone, who appreciates you for you and can reciprocate your feelings. don't forget the little things that make you happy, like sunshine on your face or the wind in your hair, or music, or reading.. whatever hobbies you have i don't know, also think about your family they are super important and love you and will always be there for you, your mates, alcohol anything it helps to distract yourself! i understand everything you're going through and think that you can rest assured what was there was there, it might have been love and it was never a mistake to love her, but it's not there anymore, feelings change people change, it's a shame when they do it at different rates but rest assured hang in there and your feelings towards her will change too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know wat ur saying but i simply cant get her out my head :( its soooo bad right now. today is the worst i've felt for a while, probably to do with the fact that i saw her today with her new man, well i assume thats who he was, and she pretty much rubbed it right in my face :( im in absolute bits, it sucks so much. she looked absolutely amazing as well...why the fuck did i ever let her go :( im havin really fucked up thoughts in my head right now. i know what i said about no actually wanting to die but now, im not so sure. got a few ideas in my head as we speak and the scary thing is, i might actually do them. i just wanna stop feeling this way...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    listen this girl sounds like a horrible person and she's really not worth your time. plus suicide is like giving up on life and the only way to get revenge on this person, is to move on and not let them get you down. right now she feels big and strong because she's hurting you and it makes her feel more desirable (some people are sick like that) you just need to rise above it, be the bigger better person and just ignore her and forget about her. like i said when a thought of her comes into your head, think of the bad things she did to you. listen i have my problems, im in love with a guy, who was engaged, who strang me along for 6 months promising me the world, now 4 months after we split up, he is married. end of, game over. it sucks but life must go on. why let her be happy and you be miserable, rise above it, paste a smile on your face, go out, show the other girls what a lovely sweet guy you are and how much love you have to give, have fun, screw around, whatever it takes will help to get this rotten girl out of your system. no-one wil love you if you're miserable and broken hearted, try and find peace with yourself and learn to enjoy yourself slowly, then if you get invited out on dates, go, you might be pleasantly surprised. plus if that girl sees YOU with someone else, it'll probably hurt her just as much.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know exactly what ur saying and honest to god, im trying so much to avoid thinking about her, just really hard. seeing her today just reminded me that i'll prob never get someone like her again and it just knocked whats left of my confidence even more :( bad times! i truly believe that she is enjoying seeing me like this and i just cannot understand why. the person i know and love just aint like that at all. god this is so hard :( as you'll know yourself its just really hard to look at the positives sometimes. i truly believe i've thrown away the best thing that ever happened to me and i know i've gotta stop thinkin like that, for my own sake, but i just cant help myself :( im sorry for acting like a twat, im normally a fun person to be around and to talk to but lately, the whole world just seems as though its came crashing down around me.
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