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Curiosity Killed the Cat
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So I was borrowing my boyfriends laptop today and got a little to curious. I have a habit of doing this with my dad's computer and have found plenty of things I wish I hadn't found but once I look the first time it's addicting. I've found plenty of porn on my dad's computer and proof of him cheating on my mom. Anyways back to my boyfriend...I found porn sites on his computer. I realize that he is 18 and a guy and thats what they do but it gives me an uneasy feeling. I'm not very confident in myself and my body and my image so this isn't an easy thing for me to forget about it. Besides the fact that I'm not confident in myself, I'm also afraid that he is going to turn out like my dad and be cheating. I know that is drastic but again I'm not very self confident. I'm new to the sexual side of our relationship and I want to be the one he wants. Not the pornstars. Any advice to help me out? Also I found banned celebrity photos.
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Comments
Banned by whom exactly?
Don't worry about it. You may feel insecure about it. As you mention, he's a guy. It's natural, isn't a replacement for you and only starts becoming a problem when it does become a replacement for you. I look at porn. Have never cheated on anyone. One thing does not mean the other.
Anyways, what are you doing going through his stuff? Would you liked it if he trawled through your laptop? Sure there's not even one little thing that you might not want him to find?
Whatever happened to trust being the basis of a relationship? Sounds like you have trust issues that you might want to address before we focus on your boyfriend and his porn.
It's like someone found out that punching himself in the face hurts, but he still repeatedly does it. Learn that ignorance is bliss if you are to insecure to stomach what you are about to find out and stop snooping around, it's seriously respectless and a dumpable offense to many.
90% of the guys watch porn at 18 and I gonna claim that just a little fraction of them cheat, and even a smaller fraction is put off by "normal" girls, because all they want is a porn star in their bed.
Looking at porn is normal for most men and it doesn't mean he's cheating. Any insecurities you have are your problem, not his.
In addition to the problems you currently believe you are facing, you also have problems with trust, and a lack of respect for the person you choose have in your life as a result of what you found out about someone already in your life, whilst snooping around and invading the privacy they thought they had.
Some people cheat, some people don't. You can't assume that everybody is going to fall into the first category just because they've looked at pornography. As much as anything, people cheat and/or look elsewhere because of the current status of their relationship. Insecurities, and - from what you describe - an unwarranted lack of trust are both unlikely to be a positive factor in your relationship, which may even promote the chances of your other half going astray.
:yes: that is the case for me. I know porn is 100% fake and I view it as an easy outlet to use when I'm alone etc. When I'm with a girl, it's her I'm thinking about 100% and I'll be enjoying the moment with her, not thinking about some porn chick bird.
I can only speak for myself but for me, i'd only think about porn whilst I'm wanking... once the deed is done I don't give a 2nd thought to porn chick bird. compared that to real life girls where I can spend most of a day thinking about them and how much i like em.
So relax, porn isn't going to steal your bf away from you!
I know what you mean though about not being confident, I mean those porn girls are unreal with looks, most of them are false!
Most lads will watch it, they are curious too. I mean there are lots of mags for woman for example about sex such as bliss etc... and I find men dont really have helpful things like this so they will turn to porn to watch and learn (not the best thing to do I know as its all fake!)
I think because you find this on his computer your thinking about what your dad did and thinking he has done the same. Try not to be too paranoid, but I can understand why you feel like this.