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no social life

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
hi there!:)

this is my first post on these message boards, its taken alot of guts to get posting, but here goes....

i have had this problem ever since i moved back into town from uni..all my college friends have either moved away or always make up exuses not to come out etc...i feel like im always making the effort to get together with them, but they make no effort with me...
im quite a friendly person, so i dont see why i have no close friends, im fun to be with and try to be a good friend whenever i can. i feel like im stuck in a rut. the weekends are hard because i have no plans. i dont have a boyfriend which also gets me down...ive tried online dating, but have so far just been out with a**holes and weirdos! there have been a few nice guys, but they live too far away...

how do i get out of this hole im in? its making me depressed!

thanks, hope to have some responses! xx

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No answers from me I'm afraid but lots of sypmpathy. Or you can go out with me lol I could have written that post I am totally in the same boat. People just get sucked into their little uni worlds, and as fun as all that is I'd actually quite like to maintain friendships with them. Silly us.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When you say 'social life' do you mean going out on the town or just meeting up in general ?

    If it's going in to town and clubbing the night away, well people grow out of that, some quicker than others. Or they may just not have the money. Why not invite them round for dinner. It doesn't have to be expensive. A home made Shepherds' Pie and Bread and Butter pudding for 4 won't cost more than a tenner ( and that's using the good quality stuff :) )

    If you mean they have no time for you at all, then maybe move on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know you're right when you say people grow out of clubbing, but when i say no social life, i mean no social interaction whatsoever. my so-called friends seem to have no time for me anymore. like you said, it must be time to move on....im joining some clubs in the near future, so there may be hope there....its just so hard being new in the city with noone to talk to...

    im glad theres someone in the same boat as me on here, sometimes you feel so alone! i think this may take time, as i guess friendship takes time to work...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My 'mates' did this to me too, they totally exclude me from the group, its really upsetting
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No Social Life

    Hi,

    I am in exactly the same boat as you my friend,

    Went to Uni, graduated, come home and all my past friends have now got there own lives/careers/jobs and I feel I'm left behind, stuck in a rut. My Uni friends live to far away to see all the time as well. Was meant to go out with an old school friend last night but he cancelled on me and decided to text me at about 1.58am in the morning of which is just so happens to be the same time the club closes we were meant to go to!! So called Friends, hey??

    What you need to do is :

    Join some new clubs in your area if you can, find a hobbie or interest that would involve general socialising to begin with and meeting new people.

    If you work is there some friends who you could go out with in the workplace.

    Bars and nightclubs are not the be all of socialising, I am just wondering you say you have no boyfriend, I'm just also wondering if you see nightclubs as the only place you are likely to find and meet guys ?

    I know you tried Internet dating(let me tell you they are a waste of time in my experience), You need to be out there in the view of other people.

    Hope it helps...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for the sympathetic message....im glad im not on my own in this situation...i dont have any specific interests but im willing to try new things:) i dont want to come across as needy or desparate, the thing is that i am becoming that way because i feel so alone!
    i find that a lot of the friends i had before are just content on sitting in front of the TV and not go out and do new things..

    boyfriend-wise..i suppose you can meet someone anywhere at any time...but clubs make it easier because of the flowing alcohol, making you feel more at ease...i know its sad, but it does give a bit of a confidense boost!

    i just feel like im stuck indoors and not out there...i just need to make some friends in order to get out there i suppose!

    like you, my uni friends live in the north, ( im from the south)..so ive lost contact with most of them, even so they all have their own lives which im not a part of...

    its a difficult position to be in, and i suppose it just takes patience and perserverence!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive found it difficult when I come back up north in my time off, as while I keep in touch with the lads, with me being away for long periods at the time, I am losing the closeness I had.

    Though all im doing is making new friends and seeing how that goes.
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Your definately not on your own, I feel the same to some extent.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I also feel very much the same. I've seen my friends only twice this summer so far. Seeing uni friends this coming weekend.. but it's just about trying to stay in contact with people and trying to make an effort, I've even had people question why I kept trying to talk to them :p saying they "didnt mind" but it was a bit out of the blue.

    But I shall keep trying, because the alternative is well, being lonely :p an I don't fancy that too much.
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